NEONOMICON #3

Alan Moore is probably the most famous comic book writer still working these days. I should probably say “legendary” instead of “famous,” though, because there probably are a lot of younger readers who might only know him from the film adaptations of late. He rarely does interviews and he refuses to work for the mainstream comics these days, so when a new book written by him comes out it's a pleasant surprise and sort of a big deal. No, he hasn't written anything great since his second mini-series of A League of Extraordinary Gentleman, but I am enjoying this new series of his mostly because it's fucking bat shit crazy. It's also disturbing, creepy, and interesting. I would go so far as to say that it's the love-it-or-despise-it book of the year and Moore's most pornographic since Lost Girls. The series is basically about the world that writer H.P. Lovecraft created. What if all the odd things in his novels were actually real? There's a serial killer that two F.B.I. agents are tracking down. This leads them to Salem, Massachusetts where they find a cult of weirdos that have a sea monster creature in their basement. Cue the monster raping the female F.B.I. agent who also happens to be a sex addict. & the serial killings may have something to do with the strange dude that has a mask over his mouth and is probably missing his tongue. Yes, it's insane stuff and definitely over the top and I can see how most people would think that this is garbage and horribly silly. I found it to be intriguing, though, and the strange world seemed to wash over me in the same way most of Alan Moore's writing has done. This isn't Moore at the top of his game, but it's unique and different than anything out there. Artist Jacen Burrows has drawn a terrific cover and some really moody, stark panels that bring the book to life without overdoing it. Whether you find it to be trash or brilliance, you'll still be thinking about it long after it's read. I think that's a good thing in a world of throwaway superhero tales. ***

BATMAN #705

While patiently waiting for the delayed, David Finch written and drawn new Batman title, Tony Daniel has been showing everyone who's boss. The dude has written, drawn, and inked two issues already in his current run on this flagship title. Not too shabby, especially considering that Daniel is one of DC's best artists. It's certainly strange when a long time artist all of a sudden starts writing as well. You always have to wonder if he's a bit too narcissistic. With Daniel, I think he got sick of drawing Grant Morrison's obtuse plots and just wanted to have fun. In this issue, he certainly has fun. Batman rides a horse! The Riddler returns! The Riddler's daughter, Enigma, shows up! There's a fight with a samurai/ninja dude! He befriends a sexy Asian chick, Peacock! Definitely this is more in the spirit of a regular, action spectacle than the dark, brooding, and gloomy world that Batman usually resides in. Daniel's script is of course by-the-numbers, but he doesn't want to break new ground and that's okay. The art is terrific; it's detailed, fluid, and in your face. If you loved Batman: R.I.P. for the art but hated the story, pick this book up. It's old-school in a sense and definitely not remarkably fantastic, but it's a fun ride. **1/2

SUPERBOY #2

In January of this year, the last issue of Adventure Comics featuring writer Geoff Johns and artist Francis Manupal hit stores. They only worked together on that book for four issues, but it was a hell of a run while it lasted. It featured Superboy back in Smallville. This is Superboy's new title. Unfortunately it has a new writer and a new artist. The upside is the artist, Pier Gallo, is terrific, and the writer, Jeff Lemire, currently has one of the best books out there (Sweet Tooth). For some reason or other, this book just feels limp. Johns and Manupal's run was exciting and beautiful and fun. This series feels more kid-friendly and simple minded. The villain in this issue is Poison Ivy. She shows up in Smallville to steal a mysterious machine that's hooked up to a dying farmer. The machine has spawned vines and plants that have taken over the town and it's up to Superboy and his high school science nerd sidekick to save the day. They do save the day...but the two strangers that built the machine seem destined to destroy Superboy once and for all. It's simplistic, gee-whiz fun, right? It should be, but it ends up just being dull. The saddest thing in all of this is that Johns and Manupal left to work on the new Flash series which isn't even half as good as their Superboy storyline. You really fucked up D.C. Congratulations. *

Shadowland #5 + Daredevil #512

Perhaps the most reviled storyline of the year, “Shadowland” finally ended last week. Well...it didn't even really end, as this week brings forth a one-shot titled Shadowland: After the Fall (it has a cover by artist David Finch who signed DC-exclusive contract in January, which means that he's not allowed to draw for Marvel anymore...so how long has this cover been sitting around the Marvel office?). January brings a four-part Matt Murdock mini-series and Black Panther gets a new series, Black Panther: Man Without Fear (he's the new Daredevil until the eventual new Daredevil #1 hits), so things don't even really end here, if that's what you thought (Daredevil impales himself with a sword in Shadowland #5 but Matt Murdock still lives, go figure). The reason this story was so hated by the fans (and, granted, they still bought it...Shadowland #1 sold out and had a reprint) was that it was just plain silly. Early on I found it to be retarded but it was fun in the same way a B-movie is fun. The final few issues, though, were borderline terrible. The premise was decent but the execution never went anywhere. Daredevil is possessed by “The Beast” and fights a group of heroes like Ghost Rider, Spider-Man, and Elektra. The way that “The Beast” dies is as ridiculous as the way the aliens are defeated in War of the Worlds. Iron-Fist uses his “chi” power to destroy “The Beast” from the inside. Okay, that's fine...but why did he wait until #5 to do it? He could've just done it when he first showed up at the fortress which was issues ago. Daredevil #512 is the aftermath and we see Matt Murdock leaving his mask days behind him. The Kingpin takes over The Hand. Black Panter starts fighting crime in Hells Kitchen. Nothing is technically over and it's a tad lame that The Hand is still around. They seem to have worn out their welcome these last two years. Time for a new evil? The art in Shadowland #5 looks pretty rushed, but I love the noir style art in Daredevil #512 by Marco Chechetto. All in all, this ending is mostly a mediocre finale to an event that never struck sparks. Ed Brubaker did such a hell of a job setting this all up that it's a little sad to see writer Andy Diggle just completely dullify it. Next year, when they eventually re-launch Daredevil, I want to see a new writer on the book. & take it back to it's roots; no more mystical mumbo-jumbo. We've had enough. Shadowland #5 * Daredevil #512 **

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #150

The reason for this book, which takes place in a separate realm than all the regular Marvel books, was to re-start the story of Spider-Man so that new readers could get caught up. After 150 issues, that reason is moot, right? I guess it still makes money so they continue it, but why not just throw writer Brian Bendis and artist David Lafuente onto another new, regular-continuity Spider-Man book? After all, Peter Parker can't be in high school for ten years plus, can he? I do love this book and it's been firing on all cylinders lately, but this issue is a complete mess. A big anniversary issue should basically be a story that involves something big; a death, a wedding, a return, or a huge swerve. I don't want extras because the extras are always horseshit that nobody cares about and are always drawn by someone that's not the regular artist. David Lafuente is the usual artist on this book and he's a phenomenal talent. For this issue he drew the wraparound cover and six measly interior pages. There are some names that added art for this mega-issue, but nobody super famous. John Romita, Sr., Skottie Young, Michael Avon Oeming, Sean Phillips, Alex Maleev, and Mark Bagley are the semi-big names that provided art, but where are Marvel's best artists like John Romita, Jr. or Steve McNiven or Marko Djurgevic? The book is split into two parts. Part one has S.H.I.E.L.D telling Parker that he has to attend superhero school. Part two is a mix of various stories that lead to Parker reading an essay in school about how his father is his favorite superhero (and this second part was already published a few years ago as Ultimate Spider-Man Super Special #1). Skottie Young, who usually draws the Wizard of Oz books, does a great job with his odd but fascinating bit dealing with Spider-Man facing a villain in a museum. David Lafuente's art is exceptional as usual, but the rest of the art is borderline terrible and so many artists on this book makes it difficult to get immersed and interested. All I wanted was a 22 page issue with some oomph. This is an expensive mess. 1/2*

MORNING GLORIES #4

Teenagers are very easy to write. You would think they would be difficult to write about because a lot of what they do seems so stupid that it's hard to comprehend, but it's actually a breeze and a lot of fun. Writing dialogue for teenagers is a rush, too, for a lot of reasons. They say hilarious, vulgar, rude things. They know more about pop culture, so cue the references. The best quotes I've ever written have all been in books about teenagers. This current series, the newest smash hit from Image, is more or less a mash-up of the Harry Potter books, Lord of the Flies, and the Japanese film Battle Royale. There's a mysterious school with secrets that a bunch of smart kids get sent to. They find themselves trapped and tortured for unknown reasons. The actual plot isn't very interesting; there are too many secrets still up in the air so far. Writer Nick Spencer is having a field day with the dialogue, though. The back-and-forth, the diatribes, the nasty insults, the jokes, it's all so entertaining, amusing, cute, and fun. Eventually the secrets will reveal themselves, but for now the issues seem to be just filled random acts of sadism (and the art, by Joe Eisma, is crisp but pretty elementary). The dialogue is so spot-on, though, that's it really hard to complain. For a book with a lot of blood on its hands, it sure is a hell of a lot of fun. ***

THE ASTOUNDING WOLF-MAN #25

Writer Robert Kirkman is such a superstar in the comic book world that he could write a series about anything and it'd get published. Case in point: this series, which has just ended, is about a superhero that's also a werewolf. Lame? That's kind of, sort of the point. I do enjoy Kirkman's three monthly books, Haunt, The Walking Dead, and Invincible, but he's always seemed like the type of comic book writer that anyone could simulate. When I read a book by Alan Moore or Neil Gaiman or even Joe Hill I'm often astonished and realize how great they are and how I could never write as good as them. With Kirkman, his writing is akin to an everyman approach. That's part of the appeal I suppose, but it's also a bit of a curse. This book ends here with #25, a big finale of sorts, although the obvious problem is that it wraps up two major plots but introduces two more. This book was terrific early on because of the non-stop cliffhangers, double-crosses, and major characters biting the dust. The last dozen issues merely went through the paces, and this last issue is simply standard when it certainly deserved to be special. Gary, the werewolf, finally escapes both The Elder and his vampire nemesis. Gary ends up taking over the horde of werewolves, training them to become a part of a superhero group that go after bad guys like Grog. The best thing about this issue is the art. Jason Howard can never draw a serious comic book, but his cartoon style art works great in this over-the-top world of superhero werewolves, ninja-clad daughters, villainous vampires, and Pentagon dudes in suits. It was never a masterpiece of a series, but it was gory and fun and felt like an old-fashioned romp, which is what comic books were always supposed to be. Now if only it had ended as wild as it started. **

VICTORIAN UNDEAD: SHERLOCK HOLMES VS. DRACULA #1

What's up with the Sherlock Holmes' resurgence? There was just a BBC three-week mini-series re-imaging the detective as a modern man. There was Alan Moore's daughter co-writing a new Holmes comic book last year. And on comic book stands as we speak there's Muppet Sherlock Holmes. This mini-series, though, has to be the one that stands out, right? Frigging Dracula vs. Sherlock Holmes? That's pretty cool, isn't it? Unfortunately, this issue turns out to be deadly dull and about as cool as a loaf of warm bread. The art is great, though. When The Demeter crashes onto the rocky shore of England, it definitely inspires dread. The lightning and the storm are colored perfectly; it's a fucking maelstrom with unholy cargo. The rest of the issue is way too stale. Holmes and Watson meet some banker in London and then run into some gypsies. The final page has Dracula showing up to meet the Queen. Perhaps eventually this will morph into the series we all want: Holmes investigating amidst the fog of London late at night while bloodsuckers attack. It's such a great B-movie type premise...shouldn't it be more fun? *1/2

BATMAN & ROBIN #16

This is, more or less, the end of this book. The title will go on, but without writer Grant Morrison it will morph into something else, probably just a by-the-numbers superhero title. What does Morrison do to tie up his years-in-the-making run? Actually, a lot. This is Morrison's best issue in quite some time. I do miss artist Frank Quitely. He still draws all the awesome covers for this book but he hasn't touched an interior since #3. It would have been nice to see him return for the big finale. The book does feature some good art; Frazer Irving's work is exciting and modern, Cameron Stewart's is in a sort of classic, Saturday morning cartoon style, and Chris Burnham does a good job with details and mood. The three of them all helped draw this 30 page issue, the psuedo-conclusion to “Batman R.I.P.” The guy that runs The Black Hand and says he's really Bruce Wayne's father? He's not his dad, but an ancestor that used demon blood to sustain a long life. The Joker ends up knocking him out and burying him alive. As for Mr. Pyg: he gets attacked by his minions and sent to Arkham. The real Bruce Wayne comes back and helps save Alfred and the day. The big last page reveal has Bruce Wayne announcing to Gotham that he's been giving Batman money all these years and now he's setting up a global system to fight crime with both Batman's. This will lead into several new Batman titles, one called Batman, Inc. that will be written by Morrison. The problem with Morrison's run on this title is that a lot of it makes no sense or is just plain confusing. This does make his books stand out. They're certainly more interesting than a lot of comic books out there, but it does present a level of frustration that rarely recedes. Even with the confusion and super-odd dialogue, this issue at least is entertaining. It does wrap up everything in exciting fashion and leads to what could be an interesting future. I do think that Grant Morrison's work on Batman will end up being historic. He did things a little differently and it's been a fairly wild ride. As much as I sometimes can't stand his writing, I am looking forward to see what he still has up his sleeve with Batman. A new chapter dawns. Now...how fucking weird can it still get? *** (out of ****)

INCOGNITO: BAD INFLUENCES #1

Writer Ed Brubaker has been in a funk lately. His work on Captain America lately has been dull and his work on Secret Avengers is terrible and silly. Thank God he's still writing his independent crime books. His last installment of Criminal was his best yet, and this series is shaping up to be another terrific work. This series deals with Zack Overkill, a used-to-be super villain that is now working for the good guys. The first six-issue arc had Zack stuck in a witness protection program and this new one starts out similar: the U.S. Government has him working for them and living a deadly dull regular life as a decoy. He fights crime now and has taken down “Dark Leopold” and “his nuclear nazis,” “Zhing fu, the Asian underlord,” and “G.I. Gorilla.” This series sets up him attempting to bring back a maniacal rogue agent from the dark side. Oh, yeah: and he's sleeping with his boss, Zoe Zeppelin, but he doesn't want to tell his therapist. Yes, it's very old-school. It's like the old comic book and radio serials from the 30's and 40's but it has the modern edge to it. Artist Sean Phillips is doing an amazing job with this. The book is dark and muddy but also very film-noir and very retro. This new series is nothing new compared to the previous arc but it's hugely entertaining and highly satisfying as usual. Sure it's dark and bloody but it's also vibrant and thrillingly alive. ***

KICK ASS 2 #1

The best comic book of 2008 is back. This sequel certainly feels strange in a lot of ways. One reason is that artist John Romita, Jr. is busy drawing The Avengers, which means that JRJr. is only providing the pencil breakdowns on this series. Another reason is that the film version came out in March and thus this feels bigger than it did when only comic book geeks knew about Dave Lizewski. A lot of people hated the first series. Movie critic Roger Ebert even wrote a scathing review about the film because it depicts a nine year old girl slaughtering people. I loved the first series, though. The film changed a bit to make it more viewer-friendly (in the film, Dave got the girl...and in the film, Nicholas Cage was actually an ex-cop and not a comic book fanboy playing make believe), but the book was hardcore in the most ridiculous sense. It was over-the-top in every category and it was funny, damn funny. It didn't have a moral or a point; that was the point. It was just a real kid becoming a superhero in the real world. This first issue is missing the carnage, but the humor is still there: Dave gets “laughed at in school” when he asks “a babe to go see Prince of Persia.” Dave meets a fellow wannabe superhero that has a “gravity pole.” “What does it do?” Dave asks him. He replies: “Just hit the button and you can make something twenty times its actual weight. Flip the reverse and you can float.” Dave asks, “Seriously?” The guy says, “Are you nuts? It's a baseball wrapped in tinfoil, man. How can anyone build a gravity pole?” This leads into the main storyline that has Dave joining the superhero team Justice Forever. Meanwhile, Red Mist is “traveling in Eastern Europe, out of his face on drugs and collecting all his little Twitter bastards for the shit that was to come.” Mindy is training Kick Ass, but she's still trying to go to school and play nice with her new family. The one problem that I have is that writer Mark Millar gives away the ending to the series; a Times Square battle against Red Mist. The rest of the book isn't as alive and thrilling as the early issues of the first series, but it's still a very entertaining book. JRJr. only did the pencil breakdowns, but it still looks terrific, although not as sharp. If you hated the movie or first series then you'll probably hate this, but so far it's pretty much in step with what's come before. Now bring on the carnage. After all, the original title of this second series was “Balls to the Wall.” ***

SUPERIOR #1

Superstar writer Mark Millar is unleashing three new creator-owned series this year, Nemesis, Kick Ass 2, and this book, his “family” title. He's definitely thrust himself into the creator-owned world which is good. It's probably even better for him that Marvel is accommodating him with their new Icon imprint. Twenty years ago if you wanted to put out your own comic and keep the rights you had to quit Marvel and join a company like Image. It didn't particularly work for writers, though, and thankfully for Millar he gets to have his own books and tap the awesome arsenal of Marvel artists. This new book is penciled by Leinil Yu, the dude that drew the Secret Invasion mini-series (or started to...they went to a different artist after Yu took too long). Leinil Yu is a phenomenal artists. He reminds me of Robert Liefeld's bigger than life superheroes but also Jim Lee's detail. The one problem is the heavy inks by Gerry Alanguilan. There is too much black in most of the panels which loses some of the crispness and ferocity of Yu's pencils. The major problem is the story. Mark Millar is infamous for profanity and violence and this is more or less his meat-and-potatoes family superhero story. It's aw-shucks cute: a kid with multiple sclerosis gets one wish from a space monkey (no, that part hasn't been explained yet). His wish is to become the famous Superior movie superhero. Over night he turns from a kid in a wheelchair into the muscled superhero. This issue is all set-up, so who knows where it goes from here. Will it turn into a regular superhero book or will Millar add some much-needed gonzo action to the mix? So far it's rather dull stuff. The art is great, but it pales in comparison to Millar's other books which have bite. **

UNCANNY X-FORCE #1

First off, is “uncanny” the only adjective that Marvel knows? Secondly, why is Wolverine in this book? Wolverine is currently a member of the X-Men, the Avengers, and the New Avengers. How the fuck can he be a member of four teams at the same time? That, plus...isn't he in hell in Wolverine and stuck in an alternate reality in Astounding Spider-Man and Wolverine? And I guess Marvel knows two adjectives, but they should have really come up with a more original title for this new book. I suppose using the “uncanny” tag will make people think this is sort of like Uncanny X-Men which is the main X-Men book (and also probably the worst). Anyway, this is the new X-Force. It features Deadpool, Archangel, Fantomex, Wolverine, and Psylocke. Basically they threw together a bunch of characters without rhyme or reason, presumably because writer Rick Remender likes them (and also because Deadpool and Wolverine are two of the most popular Marvel heroes these days). The story has this new team on a mission to stop Apocalypse...who is now just a child (this does seem to be a rip-off of Savage Dragon's Darklord as a kid storyline). I enjoyed a lot of the amusing dialogue in this issue. Rick Remender is the infamous writer that turned The Punisher into Frankenstein. So far this isn't half as ridiculous. It's a little confusing, though. The art by Jerome Opena is a little messy, but the colors are vibrant and alive. I haven't been following the X-books lately, so perhaps I'm a little lost because of that, but at least this issue has a killer ending. Otherwise it's terrific in spots but mostly a mediocre misfire. ** (out of ****)

FANTASTIC FOUR #583

Remember a few years ago when even writer Mark Millar couldn't make this book exciting? Yes, we all remember his mediocre run. So who will be the savior to finally sell some copies of this book and make it worth reading? I enjoyed this issue, although it's nothing revelatory, especially with writer Jonathan Hickman on board, the dude that's re-writing S.H.I.E.L.D pretty much from scratch. The reason I enjoyed this issue was mostly due to artist Steve Epting, who's sorely missed in the pages of Captain America. Sure, The Thing still looks silly, but Epting's pencils bring forth a maturity and a dynamic to the characters. The script is a little dark, and Epting does a terrific job making Reed's daughter look as cunning and villainous as she might actually be. Hell, Epting even makes the Silver Surfer look cool and not asinine, which is really difficult to do when you realize that the Silver Surfer is the stupidest popular character ever created. The art is top-notch, but the script has some good surprises that makes you want to read the next issue as well. Millar wrote a storyline titled “The Death of the Invisible Woman” which did not lead to the death of the Invisible Woman, but from the previews (this storyline is titled “Three”) it looks like Hickman might actually kill her off. And with Galactus back and Dr. Doom in the mix, this book is actually interesting for once. ***

THOR #615

I've never been a fan of this character, so perhaps it's not really saying anything when I admit that I didn't like this issue very much. If you've never read Thor than you probably vaguely know that he's a Norse God dude with a hammer. What you might not know is that he can change into an earthling doctor (lame) and that he speaks in a ridiculously silly Norse God dialect that gets annoying fast. Everyone will realize this when Kenneth Branagh's film version hits next summer. They will also probably realize that a character like this worked wonders in the 1960's but his very hard to make cool or entertaining now. Writer J. Michael Straczynski, who's over at DC these days, had a fantastic run last year on this book. He surprised me by making the book engrossing (it also didn't hurt that he had Marvel's best artist, Olivier Copiel, on board). It can be done, but it's rather difficult. Case in point: this issue is borderline awful. The new writer on board is Matt Fraction, one of Marvel's big boy writers. He also writes Invincible Iron Man and Uncanny X-Men. I've never been a fan of Fraction, and this issue feels like a B-version of a well-crafted, bizarre Alan Moore script. There is a blue alien race somewhere that gets attacked by a conquering army of red aliens. There's also a scientist explaining parallel worlds. And there's Thor attempting to help pick up the pieces of the fallen Asgaard. Certainly the art (Pasqual Ferry) isn't anything spectacular, but the colors by Matt Hollingsworth are wonderful. The actual plot is thin and will eventually (and hopefully) shift and shape itself into something larger and more entertaining, but so far it just falls flat. This issue is scatter shot and dull. I see no reason why anyone would bother to buy the next issue after reading this mess. *

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #642

I haven't read this book in awhile and there was a reason for that: the writers and artists change so much you never know what you're going to get. Add that to the fact that they've been putting this book out three times a month since 2007 and you can see why a lot of people probably gave it up (or played pick-and-choose with the storylines, like me). Marvel seems to have given in to reader frustration. This issue was priced at $2.99, a dollar cheaper than the usual price. And starting soon the book will go to a twice a month schedule with only one writer, the usual spot-on Dan Slott. I would still rather see it out once a month with the same artist, but at least they're changing (and if you want a the same writer/artist on a Spider-Man title every month just go read Ultimate Spider-Man. It's better, anyway). The big problem is that the changes can't come soon enough. This issue is one of the worst issues of any comic book I've ever read. It's part one of a big storyline featuring all of the major villains. Lily (aka Menace) gives birth to Norman Osbourne's baby in this issue (inside a coffee shop...and Dr. Octopus cuts the umbilical cord with a robotic arm...yes, it's awful, awful stuff). Apparently every bad guy wants to get a hold of the baby for no apparent reason (yes, it'll have evil powers...but not for another eighteen years, right?). The other semi-major occurrence is that Mary Jane is back in the fold, albeit still not with Peter, who is struggling to pay rent and hook up with girls. Writer Mark Waid is doing a terrific job writing Irredeemable, his bizarre, entertaining super-villain book, but his writing in this book is purely flat and dull. It's by-the-numbers and pedestrian, and the stale art by Paul Azaceta doesn't help. The only good thing about this piece of trash is the beautiful painted cover by Marko Djurdjevic, which is just a segment of a larger cover that will make-up all the covers for this arc. Marvel addressed the problems with this book but the changes can't come soon enough. 1/2*

WOLVERINE #1

People love money, don't they? Not only did Marvel just come out with a new Wolverine title named Weapon-X a mere 16 months ago, that book had the same writer, Jason Aaron. Basically, that book becomes this one and we get a new #1 issue for no other reason then people love money and Marvel probably would make more with a #1 than a #17. Marvel hasn't gone all out, though they did get Jae Lee to draw the awesome cover. There's a lame, utterly pointless back-up also written by Aaron (it makes no comprehensible sense and is about a samurai) and there are some rough sketches by the artist Renata Guedes (he pencils the regular, 22-page story as well). The heart, though, is “Wolverine Goes to Hell.” This is part one (we don't know yet how long it will last). Wolverine does go to hell, literally, but we're not sure yet why or how. Wolverine also has a chat with a Wraith, an old buddy and Weapon-X member who is now a pastor (comic books love to feature religious figures, don't they?). Wraith ends up being attacked by some powerful masked dude. A few other powerful masked dudes show up at the San Francisco newspaper office where Wolverine's girlfriend works. Mystique shows up on a motorcycle to save her. Huh? So far the book makes little sense. It feels like a story Aaron concocted for Ghost Rider and just changed super-heroes. Aaron's Ghost Rider was a lot more wild and fun. This book isn't fun at all, it's depressing and dark. The art by Guedes is mediocre stuff; it lacks the Gothic charm that is needed to make hell and it's environs come alive. Hell just looks silly here. The devil looks like the devil from that Tom Cruise movie Legend, albeit here he's cartoonish and not all-together scary. This storyline definitely has potential, but so far it's average at best. ** (out of ****)

MYSTERY SOCIETY #2

Steve Niles wrote the comic book 30 Days of Night. That means that he does have a knack for coming up with a cool idea. Is he a one-trick pony, though? He's mostly only dabbled in horror comics. This new series is lighter, funner, and feels a lot like The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The first issue was a knock-out; it was crisp and clean and absorbing. A cool dude sneaks into Area 51 to kidnap two black girls with mysterious powers. This new issue continues the quest, and a few assorted characters are added to the gang, namely Jules Verne. There's also something about finding Edgar Allan Poe's skull. And the government wants the black girls back at all costs. The premise is that a husband and wife are The Mystery Society, a group that uncovers mysterious artifacts, places, and people. The first issue was a great introduction. It was helped by the terrific art by Fiona Staples (her coloring, though, is a little too dull). This issue is more of the same and not as intriguing. Whether or not this will go in new directions or follow the same path is beyond me, but the premise is basic and fun and so far it's an entertaining, quirky book. **1/2

SCARLET #1

This is writer Brian Bendis and artist Alex Maleev's newest series. They both had a famous run on Daredevil (I wasn't reading too many comics at the time, so I missed it) and last year they had a short stint on the epic failure Spider Woman (yes, it was terrible). You would think that everything these two touch will turn into gold because Bendis is an often great writer and Maleev is a spectacular, unique artist. This new series, though, while in its infancy, is awful, awful stuff. It does look good; it's gritty, stylish, and kinetic. There are some amusing parts of the issue: the series of “firsts” (first kiss, first orgasm, first A, first F, etc.) is cute. The story, though, has ambition, but hasn't presented itself as anything entertaining or profound (I think it's supposed to be profound, anyway). The premise is that a really pretty hippie girl in Portland decides to take on the establishment. It's basically the tale of a modern Anarchist. Eventually people will join her cause and it will be like the French cutting off Marie Antoinette's head (you get the premise, right?). Who is she after? Well...the government, The Man, the cops, society. It's a little sketchy, although in the first issue it's her vs. the Portland P.D. (a corrupt cop kills her boyfriend). This could possibly become awesome stuff. I envision mass carnage, bombings, epic riots, looting, chaos. But so far it's deadly dull. The other problem is that Scarlet talks to the reader. It's lame. It's only the first issue, sure, but it's a really terrible first issue. 1/2*

X-MEN #1

I'm sick of hearing about it, but yeah, in 1991, Jim Lee and Chris Claremont sold seven million copies of X-Men #1. To put in perspective how big comic books were in the early 90's, the best-selling comic book of June 2010 was New Avengers #1 and it sold only 129,084 copies (this number is based on the number of copies pre-ordered, which means a lot less probably actually sold). That's fucking nuts, right? Granted, every book didn't sell seven million copies back then, but it does go to show how big things were. They seem to be getting a little bit bigger now with all of the comic book movies these days, although with free comics found easily on the internet, no comic will ever sell a million copies let alone seven. I'm not sure why Marvel decided it was time...but it's time. The first X-Men #1 in nineteen-years! Instead of getting a superstar artist, writer, or multiple awesome covers, they've done neither. They've also put the X-Men up against Dracula. Yes, they seemingly want to fail. I like Dracula, though, and I thought writer Victor Gischler's last prominent job, writing that “Welcome to the Bayou” arc in The Punisher, was pretty cool. The art here isn't all that great, though. Paco Medina's pencils are pedestrian but his cartoon-esque style is not a good fit for a dark storyline featuring vampires. & since there is already X-Men: Legacy, Uncanny X-Men, and Astonishing X-Men out there, do we really need another X-Men monthly? No. But a good one wouldn't hurt. **1/2

SHADOWLAND #1

This is the new, mega-event about Daredevil. Yes, I'm surprised that they gave Daredevil an event, too. But I guess that Marvel figures that every superhero should get an event sometime. Hulk got a few in the last couple of years. The X-Men always have something going on. I even remember The Punisher having an event that was in The Punisher and The Punisher: War Journal where he went to Europe (it was actually pretty cool, shockingly). I wasn't hyped for this or anything because I stopped reading Daredevil after Andy Diggle took over. Diggle just didn't make the book exciting. This is the big stage, though, and Diggle delivers: Daredevil kills Bullseye on the last page. Normally that would be a big deal, but this is Marvel, which brings back everyone from Kraven to The Green Goblin to Elektra. They even killed off The Punisher last year, and he still has two monthly books. The plot is a little silly, but it does have Spider-Man and Thor and Iron Man and Iron Fist and a slew of other heroes and villains. The premise is that Daredevil has built a big, Japanese-looking home base in the middle of Hells Kitchen. Yes, it looks silly. Daredevil is the new leader of The Hand, an ancient army of ninjas. Is Daredevil slowly turning evil? Sure. So this epic is kind of Dardevil being evil and everyone fighting. If you didn't think Marvel was greedy and loves money, look out how many books are a part of “Shadowland”: There are 30 books from July to November that are officially part of “Shadowland.” Thirty books? Are you nuts? At $3.99 apiece, that's $126.90 with PA tax. This better be good. So far...it's just okay. **1/2

BRAM STOKER'S DEATH SHIP: the last voyage of the demeter #2

This was going to be a movie once. When Dracula gets in a coffin and has it sent to London, it travels by boat. Of course he wakes up during the night and kills off the crew members one by one. This is that story. That's it. Sure it's simple, but everything about Dracula is so damn cool. It's also one of the pillars of modern literature, right? A ton of things have been spawned from that book, mostly teen vampire sagas these days, but think about the creepy London of the 1800's, the fog, the candle light, the mysteries, the horse coaches rumbling down dark, cobble-stoned streets. All of this has come from Dracula and its thousands of film adaptations over the years. This is just as creepy. It's a dark ship in dark waters and storms and frantic, frightened crew members. It's blood and shadows and murder under mysterious circumstances. The art is great but the script is a little thin. I would have much rather gotten some back stories to the crew members and more dialogue between them. It's mostly just a bunch of sailors getting murdered while the captain prays to God in his room. A little more meat and this would have been a masterpiece. **1/2

ACTION COMICS #890

Lex Luthor is now the star of his own comic. I suppose after eight-hundred and eighty-nine issues they've done everything there is to do with Superman. Lex Luthor apparently got hold of some powerful ring during Blackest Night but lost it and now wants that power back. That's the basic premise. He also has a robot that looks like Lois Lane. & he's attacked by Master Mind, a giant slug-like creature. Yes, it's odd, but it's also fairly readable and fun in a dark sense. The art by Pete Woods is standard, but the script by Paul Cornell is fresh and funny. The cover by David Finch is excellent. This isn't anything awesome, though, and honestly, a story featuring Lex Luthor seems to be something that should be shocking, wild, and crazy sick, right? It's getting there, but for now it's just a mildly entertaining ride. **1/2 (out of ****)

WONDER WOMAN #600

Really? I mean...really? Who knew that this stupid character would have six-hundred issues under her magic belt. & even though I read this issue, I really have no idea who reads this book. I guess before internet porn, maybe perverts liked to ogle the chick in the short shorts. Girls don't read comic books (I've been in comic book stores a million times and have never once saw a girl buying a comic). There was a Wonder Woman TV show in the 70's. Maybe this book was big back then. I'm not sure why it continued. Finally, though, DC has a major player writing this book. J. Michael Straczynski, who wrote Amazing Spider-Man and Thor before escaping to DC, is the new writer on this book. The first order of business was to get Jim Lee to design a new outfit. Wonder Woman now wears leather pants. Straczynski's prologue is short, but not surprisingly the only good story in this book. The first story is fluff but drawn by superstar George Perez, the artist that seems to always give himself more work by stuffing each frame with thousands of characters (Perez also drew the clean-cut, gorgeous cover). The second story is written and drawn by Amanda Conner and is terrible. The third story is written by Geoff Johns but isn't really much of anything except a psuedo-history of the character. There are some amazing pin-ups here, too, by such artists as Jock, Ivan Reiss, Phil Jimenez, Shane Davis and Francis Manupal. This is a big anniversary issue and they've got every major player at DC working on the thing. It would have been a lot better if it was just a really good 22 page issue with something shocking or revelatory, but it's a celebration of a character, and that's okay, too. **

NEW AVENGERS #1

Writer Brian Bendis and artist Stuart Immonem have worked a lot together recently. They both worked on Ultimate Spider-Man and then New Avengers and now this. It's nice to see a perfectly matched duo staying together. It makes things more comfortable. We're right at home. The problem is that this new book is terrible. I never read the previous New Avengers, so perhaps this is similar to that, but so far this is a disaster on almost every level. The first major problem is that the whole reason that The Avengers was started was to create a super group with behemoths like Captain America and Iron Man and Thor. It was supposed to be a group of mega names. This book and Secret Avengers provide groups with a bunch of B-level superheroes, making the “super group” tag completely moot. The other problem is that Spider-Man and Wolverine are in the New Avengers and The Avengers. Really, is there any point to having this New Avengers team besides making money off the name? It wouldn't be a big deal if the book was complex, entertaining, interesting, and something fresh and a bit different than The Avengers book. This book is not different. It's superheroes fighting a super villain, this time some lame dude that possesses people (he takes over Dr. Strange in this issue). Luke Cage is the leader, a superhero I've barely ever heard of. The art is nice but it's a bore of a story with characters nobody cares about. Wake me when it's over. 1/2*

SUPERMAN #700

I guess that DC figured J. Michael Straczynski's debut would be enough to sell a boat-load of this book so they didn't really bother to do much else. They did have the awesome artist Eduardo Risso draw a cover, albeit a variant cover nobody owns. The problem I have is that they had a really big ending to their “New Krypton” storyline that has been going on for the last year and a half. New Krypton was destroyed and General Lane committed suicide. Why didn't they have that stuff occur in this issue, a monumental one? And while Straczynski's debut is cool, it's only ten pages and fairly pedestrian. Superman is faced with the real world. Okay. That doesn't sound very exciting. There are two other stories in the book. In the first, Lois Lane is saved by Superman and then they tell each other how much they love one another. The second story focuses more on Robin than Superman. This book is a lot worse than Batman #700 for a number of reasons. That book at least had the best Batman artists of the last few years work on the book. This book has none of them (unless you love Eddie Barrows). It would have also been nice to see Gary Frank draw the interior (he only supplies the basic cover) and Geoff Johns write a story. For a big issue, this one's a disappointment. *

NEMESIS #2

Well, it's not even half as good as Kick-Ass. The art helps, as Steve McNiven is a superstar artist. The story, though, is fairly dull, even though it's trying to be nothing short of awesome. The premise is that there's a super-villain who is rich and powerful and trying to take down a great, unstoppable chief of police in Washington, D.C. The super-villain has kidnapped the president and done a bunch of other outrageous things like crash Air Force One and spread a poisonous chemical inside the Pentagon. It sounds so thrilling yet it's not at all interesting. The problem I guess is that it's mean-spirited. That's kind of the point, though, unless the bad guy loses in the end, which would be kind of a cop-out. At the close of this issue, Nemesis is apprehended by the D.C. cops. When he's being handcuffed he shouts, “You retards! You brain-dead little shits...You think I didn't plan all this?” So maybe his big masterful plan will make #3 a little more entertaining. *1/2

BATMAN #700

Bizarre writer extraordinaire Grant Morrison wrote this issue and Tony Daniel, Andy Kubert, David Finch, Scott Kollins, and Frank Quitely penciled it. The problem? Only Quitely's art is phenomenal, the others are average at best. Daniel's art is usually awe-inspiring stuff, but here it looks sloppy and unfocused. David Finch's art is also too dark, too odd. Quitely's is great, but he only does five pages. The story, albeit discombobulated and near incomprehensible, is actually entertaining and fairly readable. It deals with time and The Joker, and isn't really worth rehashing (good luck trying to explain it, anyway). As much as I admire Morrison, I really think that Batman has lost its edge since he was brought on board. He's certainly made things interesting, but more often than not he's presented a great premise only to go nowhere with it logically. Where's the dark Batman or the fun Batman? Morrison's Batman is a mixture of both with no footing in reality or fantasy. It's a mystery never fleshed out, a combination of everything that comes out unreadable. If Morrison didn't have Daniel or Quitely drawing such awesome pages, nobody would give him the time of day. Still, I enjoyed this issue more than most of Morrison's recent work. For starters, it's a self-comprised story with a beginning and ending, and while it doesn't make that much sense it's not totally baffling. And Quitely's art is so damn good, I'd pay to see him draw a fucking subway station for twenty pages. The dude's got it. ***

CHEW #11

Rarely does a book come out where both the artist and writer are spectacular. Usually I'll get a book because I like a writer or a writer/artist and often I'll pick up a book because I like the artist but it rarely happens that I'll pick up a book because I like the writer and I like the artist. Chew would be a phenomenal book if it only had one piece of the puzzle because the writing is zany, swift, bizarre, and oh-so fun and the art is top-notch, jaw-droppingly creative, and a pleasure to gaze upon. This is truly one of the best new books in years, a fresh feature from two nobodies. It's so good that this issue isn't even all that great but it's still miles ahead of most mainstream stuff out there. This issue presents a new arc, “Just Desserts.” Agent Chu gets his date with the beautiful food critic. They just so happen to attend a dinner that serves famous, extinct delicacies like Dodo eggs. The catch? It's an ultra-secretive society. And it's sort of illegal. Chu ends up putting two bullets through a guy's skull and sleeping with the food critic. Hi-five! This issue also has a terrifically cool cover with a wooly mammoth. Nice. ***

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #11

The best Marvel monthly out there these days, this book has picked up speed again with a doppelganger plot. Mysterio beats up and knocks out Peter Parker and takes his form, thus making the next few issues even more interesting. We know the “evil” Peter Parker is going to hook-up with Mary-Jane (thanks to the teaser cover for #12), but what else? Will things get super ugly? Probably not, as writer Brian Bendis keeps things mostly in family-friendly mode for this book (he had a character impale a baby on a spike in an issue of Powers this year). Bendis does family-friendly well, though, as his cute/funny dialogue is infectious and fun and his stories are always fairly breezy and light (when Bobby aka “Iceman” gets a job at the fast-food place, Johnny Storm aka “The Human Torch,” shows up to bust his balls. Bobby: “Can I take your order?” Johnny: “Let's see...do you have any dignity? No, it looks like you're all out.”) Having a round-up of teens populating this book now helps, as some of the more clever lines and amusing moments are now picked up by Ice-Man and The Human Torch who are now living with Aunt Mary, Gwen, and Peter. The art by David Lafuente is the icing on the cake. The book is light, sure, but it's fun. ***

CAPTAIN AMERICA #606

I missed the last arc, so I missed Bucky killing the 1950's Captain America, the Tea-Party controversy, and Sin apparently peeling her face off (she now looks like daddy, the Red Skull). Certainly it sounds like I missed an awesome storyline, but the reviewers have said that it was the worst of the current Brubaker run. This issue is very well-done, so I'm glad I've returned. When writer Ed Brubaker is on he's on, and this is a typically excellent issue. It has all the classic hallmarks of a good Brubaker issue: there's darkness, a vicious villain, and cool spy hi-jinks. The art, by Butch Guice, looks like it came right out of a 50's dime novel. Not a crackerjack of a plot here, but it's same-old in a good way. *** (out of ****)

SWEET TOOTH #10

This book is great, although it's getting a tad stale while Gus is in captivity. In this issue a doctor hypnotizes Gus and takes him back to his past. We learn that Gus' father was writing his own Bible. We learn that there was a picture of Gus' mother, although it seems that Gus was born in a lab like Kyle XY. Things should start heating up in the next issue when the doctors and evil, mad scientists head off to Gus' home in Nebraska to look for answers. I envision a break out and escape for Gus and perhaps a penultimate battle? The art is ragged but the dialogue and story keep everything moving. Not a terrific issue compared to the others, but it's still very engrossing stuff. It's sad, too, but compelling. **1/2

I ZOMBIE #2

And it all comes together. The first issue was mostly a book with a plethora of monster cliches; the zombie, the vampire, the ghost, the werewolf, etc. It didn't entirely make a cohesive, entertaining book. It felt more like a bunch of ideas that didn't connect. This issue, however, is better, richer, and more alive. The pieces are slowly fitting into place, even with a new added threat: the mysterious mummy/invisible man character. The spectacular, iconic art certainly helps. Artist Mike Allred seems to be channeling the 1950's with his art. It fits because back then there were a ton of lame, B-monster movies that arrived for the drive-in set. This book feels like a 1950's I Married a Werewolf type of film
with it's aw-shucks attitude and quirks and scary monsters that seem more playful and humorous than deadly. In this issue we learn that the werewolf is really a typical nerd working in the IT department at a nursing home. His friends decide to finally go out on a Saturday night and happen to catch the eye of a female vampire that runs a pack of vamps that used to run a paintball company. Meanwhile, the zombie grave-digger (she has to eat a brain once a month to remain normal) keeps getting visions from the last dead guy whose brain she devoured. He was murdered and perhaps this mummy/invisible man was the culprit. And there's a cute, blonde ghost milling about. It's a lot, sure, but it works. It's not really fresh but it is strange and fun and pretty to look out. Definitely one to stick with. ***1/2 (out of ****)

GREEK STREET #12

The old players are gone, at least for a bit, and we get this strange respite about a soldier returning from his time in Afghanistan. He's losing his mind. He sees an Ancient Greek warrior following him for no good reason. Does it have something to do with the innocent father he accidentally killed? Or perhaps his dead comrades killed by a bomb? I guess this story is adapted from some Ancient Greek text. Perhaps footnotes or an author's end-note would be helpful to make the connection. We are, after all, comic book readers, not Rhodes Scholars. There's a new artist drawing this arc, Werther Dell'Erdera. His stuff is bare, stark, comic-y but nice. It's basic, and the story is as well. It feels a little tired. **

SCALPED #38

The return of artist R.M. Guera is good news. The art here is incredibly detailed, gritty, full-blown and majestic. Guera's style fits perfectly with writer Jason Aaron's crime-infested narrative. The lowlifes and gangsters are dark and evil and bad ass and come across as warriors. The story in this issue is a flashback to Vietnam. Wade was in the war, then smuggled heroin, then was asked to work undercover for the F.B.I. in South Dakota. The target? Gina Bad Horse. As much as I hate that this book keeps circling around the main story, this current flashback arc is a great one. The art helps, but the writing is in a class by itself. It's epic and awesome. ***1/2

SECRET AVENGERS #1

Because Marvel is greedy, there are now going to be three $3.99 monthly Avengers books. It is smart because for some reason Mighty Avengers and New Avengers were always two of Marvel's best-selling titles. Last year they added Dark Avengers. I'm guessing three is not too much. Marvel has also stacked the deck in the creative department. This series, the C.I.A., covert-ops style of Avengers, is being written by Ed Brubaker. That's awesome, as he's Marvel's best writer. They stuck the runt of the litter to do the art on this book, though. While Mike Deodato isn't a terrible artist, he's not half as good as John Romita, Jr. nor as good as Stuart Immonen, the other two Avengers artists. The big problem with this book is that the famous superheroes are in the premiere Avengers title. This group has the B-heroes: Moon Knight, Steve Rogers, Ant-Man, Beast, two chicks I've never heard of (Valkyrie & Black Widow), War Machine, Nova, and Sharon Carter. Brubaker has also had a problem in the past at writing a superhero team book. His run on Uncanny X-Men wasn't very memorable, and the first arc out of the gate has the team traveling to Mars (groan). The issue is quick and semi-interesting, though, but not mind-blowingly intense. For a first issue you want something awesome. This is just mildly amusing. **1/2

CHOKER #3

Author Irvine Welsh is Scottish. Is it the constantly gray skies? The writers from Scotland are fucking nuts. Writer Ben McCool has written an increasingly bleak, super-violent, wallowing-in-garbage story that features cannibals, cops, drugs, and vampires. I suppose it doesn't help that artist Ben Templesmith has made this book look as dark as Charles Manson's mind. And while the look and story are dark, it's actually a wildly entertaining book that feels fresh and vibrant and alive. The story takes place in a world where the cops have to take a drug that will bulk them up. It's called Man-Plus. The problem is that there are side-effects, one of them being alien hand syndrome. The main character suffers from that syndrome and has been known to inadvertently choke himself, hence the title name. The main character is also an ex-cop who has been put back on the force to help catch a cannibal serial killer. Meanwhile, a new drug is making the rounds in the city and it turns people into vampires. There's a big action scene in this issue when some vamps attack the cops, but the art is dark and smudgy and the action is hard to follow. The basic premise and gritty world is compelling enough to make everything work, though, regardless of the incomprehensibility of some of the sequences. This is sick, sadistic stuff but it's definitely worth reading. ***

THE WALKING DEAD #72

The current storyline in this book reminds me of the bait-and-switch tactic that was used in the movie Hostel: Part II. In that film there was an asshole and a friendly guy that were buddies. It was obvious to me that eventually the asshole would be shocked at violence and end up the wuss whereas the friendly guy would turn out to revel in the savagery. I think that writer/director Eli Roth wrote that into the script because he thought that it would be a shocking twist for the audience. 'Oh my God!' the audience would shout. 'That nice guy is fucking crazy! What an M. Night twist!' Writer Robert Kirkman might have had the same idea here. The characters from this book have murdered people, sure, but only bad guys or zombies. They've shown up at a friendly compound outside of Washington, D.C. It seemed obvious to me that the main characters, who have been the good guys, will end up fucking up the idyllic world and in turn become villainous. I was right. In this issue, Rick decides to sneak around and plot to get his guns back. It's the first step in ruination. There's also a house-warming type of party that goes on and everyone seems baffled by the regularity of things. Until the carnage arrives, this arc is wallowing in mediocrity. **

HELLBLAZER #267

This is part one of a new storyline. In typical John Constantine fashion, his world is crumbling all around him. In this issue it's happening literally. It's a trick of the mind, but who's the dastardly one behind it all? Either way, John blames Epiphany and punches her and then regrets it. The issue closes with him calling Shade, The Changing Man. Who is Shade, The Changing Man? Apparently a character that Steve Dikto created in the 70's and writer Peter Milligan has worked on. Does this mean that Milligan is already bored with Constantine or does he have something up his sleeve? I guess we'll find out in the next issue. The art in this issue is terrific stuff. The great duo of Guiseppe Camuncoli and Stefano Landini are the artists on this arc, and their stuff is standard but very cartoon-ish. I like its crispness, and the action is easy to follow. As for the story; it's typical. Milligan had one great arc in him it seems. Lately he's been boring even himself. ** (out of ****)

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #10

Meanwhile, Brian Bendis' other superhero book is taking a darker, more dramatic turn. Kitty Pryde has been targeted by the government since she's a mutant and mutants are outlawed. They try to arrest her at school but she escapes and eventually goes nuts, turning villainous and shooting fireballs at everyone. We last see her in a sewer as she cries her eyes out. Boy, it sucks being a teenage girl. That's the point, right? To showcase the trials and tribulations of being in high school but as it relates to superheroes? And while this is all very serious, the issue is a little less entertaining than past ones. The art by Davide Lafuente is also a little bit rushed. The sequence where the principal gives everyone a morality lesson is stretched out way too far. Bendis has a knack for comedy and he does sometimes attempt to throw out some serious themes but has yet to put everything on a level playing field that works. This is one of if not the best Marvel titles out there, so it's a little sad that it's been slightly floundering lately. **

THE AVENGERS #1

The real #1 of The Avengers came out in 1963. So what has changed? I've never read that first issue, but I have read the first dozen issues of The Amazing Spider-Man from that era. The thing that I've noticed is the ironic, tongue-in-cheek, wink-wink comedy is much more prominent now. This book is more or less akin to a one-hour stand-up set by a comedian. Even the fearsome villain, Kang, shows up and Steve Rogers admits that he's “before your time, Bucky.” Wasn't Bucky around for WW2? Marvel wasn't even invented yet. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that this issue is chock full of one-liners. Kang tells The Avengers that he has “words from the future that you need to hear.” Spider-Man quips: “Do I ever find true love?” In one sense, an action-packed, serious, dramatic superhero-book might not be as entertaining, but on the other hand, do we really want to pay $3.99 every month for a joke book? Writer Brian Bendis has tackled super-serious stuff in the past (most notably in his book Powers), so I hope that this “fun” book eventually fleshes itself as something more important with all of the elements that make a book work instead of just the lighthearted stuff. The story is basically The Avengers assembling. We've got Iron Man and Spider-Man and Hawkeye and both Captain Americas and Thor and Wolverine and Spiderwoman. Obviously, it's a lot of great characters to work with. Kang is the villain from the future, but the last page reveals that an evil Hulk might be the mastermind. The story is fairly lame but the art by John Romita, Jr. is epic, awesome stuff. It's a fun book so far but has a long way to go to before it becomes anything more than a colorful romp. **1/2

HAUNT #7

Greg Capullo is the new artist now on this book, but it sure looks a lot like Todd McFarlane is drawing it. That's a good thing, as McFarlane was the greatest comic book artist of all time. The problem is that McFarlane is only inking this book but you can tell that he's itching to draw it. He goes completely overboard with the inks. How many fucking lines does a person need on their face? As for the story, this is more a bridge of an issue between arcs than anything substantial. The dead guy's wife finds out that he was a secret super spy. And the villain, after surgery, looks a little deformed. That's it. If the art wasn't so awesome I probably would care that not much happens. This book is a mix of Spider-man and Spawn, and not really as good or as intriguing as either. It looks great and is both stupid and simple. If a few downright awesome storylines don't show up soon, this book will become the afterthought most already believe it to be. **1/2

X-FACTOR #205

Well...they're not all dead. That's how much I enjoy this book; I was hoping the characters were all really dead. This is typical of most superhero group books. It's good, fun, and semi-complex but nothing great. Maybe it's hard to really knock one out of the park, because when was the last truly great superhero group book? It was probably the second mini-series of A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and that came out a few years ago. This book is entertaining and fun, but it's been a little stale, even with the change in direction once the gang moved to New York City. Apparently there's a big crossover storyline going on with all of the X-books. This book features a bit of that, as some villain from the future has returned to destroy all mutants. The art is surprisingly good, here, and the book is certainly action packed (there's a battle in the Dublin airport), but it just seems so typical and ordinary. Peter David is so famous, you would expect a little more excitement. **1/2

THE FLASH #2

Even DC comics probably figured it out: nobody is going to buy a book about The Flash unless it has the greatest artist/writer team in comics history. Writer Geoff Johns is DC's premiere go-to-guy and artist Francis Manupal is one of the best out there, but I have to give kudos to the colorist, Brian Buccellato. The book is colorful and vibrant. Even though the plot is about the death of an old villain, the colors add a sense of fun and freshness to the mood. It's one of the best looking books out there these days. The story is average stuff: Barry, The Flash by night and detective by day, is accused of murder by his own police computer and some superheroes from the future. Meanwhile, Mirror Master helps Captain Boomerang break out of prison for purposes yet to be revealed. This is a terrific book. It's standard stuff, sure, but it's a hell of a lot of fun. ***

BATMAN: THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #1

They got stuck in time on Lost two years ago and Captain America went through the same thing last year. It's Bruce Wayne's turn. This reminds me of when Antz and A Bug's Life both came out around the same time. I think Armageddon and Deep Impact came out close to each other, too. I guess it's not really being ripped off here, because the idea of someone being lost in the time stream has been done before (H.G. Wells' The Time Machine was probably the first piece to tackle the idea). Writer Grant Morrison is known for writing comics as if they're pieces of a puzzle. His stuff is often more confusing and obtuse than entertaining. I think Batman: R.I.P. would have been unreadable if not for Tony Daniel's awesome visuals. And Morrison's new book, Batman & Robin, faltered once Frank Quitely quit drawing the interiors. This book apparently is six parts and has six different artists. It doesn't help that this is the caveman issue. From what I've heard, Batman also ends up a pirate and stuck in the puritan/witch hunt era. Those issues are probably going to be a lot more fun, as this issue is a disaster. I didn't read Final Crisis, but he wasn't killed off at the end of it (nor was he killed in the storyline titled Batman: R.I.P.), he was sent into the time stream so that DC can sell a new Batman comic (there are now four monthly Batman books out there that I know of). Bruce Wayne amongst cavemen is just silly. It doesn't work at all. Even the spectacular art by Karl Story can't save it (and the art is incredible in the first three pages then slowly gets worse). Superman showing up and “missing” Batman is just the icing on the stupidity cake. Seriously, how long do we have to wait until they put Geoff Johns on one of the Bat books? * (out of ****)

SAVAGE DRAGON #160

This is part 6 of 6 in “Dragon War.” What happens: Emperor Kurr, aka Dragon, kills everyone except for Malcolm, Angel, and Flash Mercury then he disappears and says that if anyone follows him he'll “tear you limb from limb.” I guess the newest villain is Dragon himself. And I guess this means that Malcolm and Angel will be the stars of the book from now on. That's cool and a shocking change. I kind of don't see the point of the shape-shifter showing up and being killed off so fast. What was the point of her character? Otherwise, this is a good issue. Terrific, in-your-face art by Larsen and wildly brilliant colors from Koutsis and Toris. Things are settling from the fallout, and it feels pretty monumental. Larsen has shaken up things big time. This is epic stuff. ***

GREEK STREET #11

Eddie loses an eye and then kills Lord Menon. Eye for an eye? Can the symbolism get any more heavy-handed? We also learn a lot. Lord Menon is Eddie's father. The monster turns out to be a dead whore from Menon's adulterous past. I'm really not sure where this book can go from here. Is it wrapping up? Or does writer Peter Milligan have more ancient Greek myths to tackle? This book has been sort of like The Sopranos meets Clash of the Titans. It's definitely intriguing, but has never yet been super-compelling or revelatory. It's bloody, bloody stuff. Perhaps its time to lighten itself up a bit. **