ALL STAR WESTERN #1

I actually watched the Jonah Hex movie that came out a year ago. Before that I had no idea who the fuck Jonah Hex was. I've read comics since the early 90's and didn't even know it existed. Go figure. The movie certainly sucked but the few issues I have read of the comic book since then have been entertaining, especially the Eduardo Risso-drawn one that came out awhile back. This is the new start of the book amidst DC's cavalcade of #1 issues storming the comic book stores, most of them hit-or-miss, and I have to say that so far this is my favorite. There are reasons for that, as it's really nothing new or fresh at all. Do you like old-school London? Do you like Jack the Ripper tales? Do you like inspectors sorting out mysteries in a dangerous city long ago? You'll love this. Hex arrives in Gotham City post-Civil War and is hired to find the Gotham Butcher, a seriously sadistic killer that butchers prostitutes. Hex is helped by Dr. Arkham, a snobby, uppity psychologist. Gotham is dirty and fierce and Hex is a total Schwarzenegger. The art by Moritat (like Prince with the one word name I suppose...so mysterious) is terrific; the characters are drawn bare-bones but the people and surroundings are large, ominous, and crowd-friendly. The internal monologue by Arkham gets old and it's a by-the-numbers serial killer tale but it's engrossing stuff and has a wicked To Be Continued... climax. The highlight of DC's New 52 for sure. ***1/2

ALPHA DELTA DEATH #1

Page One (four panels)

Panel 1:
Big panel. A shot of a college sorority house. It’s night. The house is three floors, white, typical, standard sorority house. It looks like rich kids live there. There are bushes, trees. A lamp post. A porch. It looks nice, welcoming.

Panel 2:
Nicole is skinny, tall, red-haired, and very pretty. She is standing in a bedroom. She is wearing a long, white t-shirt that almost goes down to her knees. She has an annoyed look on her face.

NICOLE:
What?

Panel 3:
Nicole’s boyfriend, Brian, is sitting on the bed. Only Brian in the panel. Brian has no shirt on. He has his arms behind his head. He looks comfortable. An amusing grin is plastered across his face. Brian is muscled, big, and looks like an everyday, college hunk.

BRIAN:
Could you dress any less sexy?

Panel 4:
Nicole climbs into bed. Both Nicole and Brian are in the panel.

NICOLE:
Fuck you.

BRIAN:
You know some girls actually like to dress up and look sexy for
their boyfriends, especially when they’re leaving.



Page Two (five panels):

Panel 1:
Brian and Nicole are now both sitting up in bed next to each other.

NICOLE:
I’m going away for two weeks. Not even that. Eleven days.

BRIAN:
I can give you a picture to remember me by. You can put it by your bed while you’re fucking some black dude.

Panel 2:
Small panel of Nicole. She looks aggravated.

NICOLE:
Nice. Like you’re not gonna bang every blonde you see. I watch you with those sluts at the bars.

Panel 3:
Small panel of Brian. He’s smiling.

BRIAN:
What can I say? I’m a connoisseur of the female form.

Panel 4:
Small panel of Nicole. She has her arms folded. She’s smiling.

NICOLE:
You’re a connoisseur of syphilis.

Panel 5:
Nicole and Brian in the panel. They’re looking at each other. They’re still in bed.

BRIAN:
You’re such a bitch. I should start hitting you. You’d look good with a black eye.

NICOLE:
So’d we be the cliché? Tough male and his petite, quiet, trapped girlfriend. You’ll keep me in
line. I secretly want to escape but I’m afraid you’ll kill me.



Page Three (five panels):

Panel 1:
Nicole sits on top of Brian and pins his hands down. They’re still on the bed.

BRIAN:
You’re going to secretly poison my meatloaf one night.

NICOLE:
The police will suspect me after the autopsy, but by then I’ll have escaped to South America. I’ll
shack up with some cute cabana boy on the beach. Sell bananas. Drink rum. Watch the sunsets.
They’ll never catch me.

Panel 2:
Nicole is still on top of Brian. Brian’s hands are now free.

BRIAN:
Bananas? That sounds like a hell of a career.
(cont’d)
Are you we just gonna talk all night?

NICOLE:
I have to wake up early, babe.

Panel 3.
Only Brian in the panel. Close-up on his face. He looks frustrated and a little angry.

BRIAN:
Are we ever gonna be serious, Nicole? Like a…like a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? You
know…like normal people?

Panel 4:
Nicole is getting off of Brian.

NICOLE:
Honestly? I think if we did we would fail miserably.

Panel 5:
Nicole is lying on her side next to Brian. They’re both looking at each other.

BRIAN:
You know I like you.


NICOLE:
I know. I’m not oblivious.




Page Four (five panels)

Panel 1:
Only Brian in the panel. Brian is sitting up in bed.

BRIAN:
I didn’t realize how much I liked you until you decided to leave for two weeks. Like…I won’t
see you for two whole weeks. I…it’s gonna be…I’m gonna miss you.

Panel 2:
Only Nicole in the panel. Nicole is lying down with her eyes closed on the bed.

NICOLE:
Your words are like poetry.

Panel 3:
Brian leans in close towards Nicole. Nicole is lying down with her eyes half-open.

BRIAN:
C’mon…I’m not gonna see you for two weeks.

NICOLE:
Eleven days. And I need sleep. Body…tired. Eyes…closing.

Panel 4:
Brian is sitting up on the bed. Nicole reaches up to turn off the light by the bed.

BRIAN:
So no mind-blowing sex?

NICOLE:
Not tonight, babe.
(cont’d)
Good night.

SFX:
CLICK

Panel 5:
The bedroom is now dark. Brian is sitting on the bed holding his knees. Brian is staring.
Brian looks frustrated. Nicole is turned on her side, facing away from him.



Page Five (seven panels)

Panel 1:
Close-up of Nicole opening up her eyes. It’s morning.

SFX:
BEEP BEEP BEEP

Panel 2:
Nicole hits the alarm clock on the side of her bed.

Panel 3:
Nicole in the shower.

Panel 4:
Nicole, dressed, looking in the mirror at herself. She’s in a dress.

Panel 5:
Nicole picks up her bags.

Panel 6:
Only Brian in the panel. He’s sleeping on the bed.

Panel 7:
Nicole holds up a frozen wave.

NICOLE:
Bye.




Page Six (five panels)

Panel 1:
Outside shot of the airport. We see the main entrance. A plane overheard in the sky. Cars
are clogging the street out front. The sun is out. There are a lot of people walking around.

Panel 2:
Shot of the inside of the airport. There’s a long line of people waiting to go through security
inside the terminal.

Panel 3:
Close-up of three girls; Nicole, Stef, and Kim are standing in line. Stef and Kim look like typical
sorority girls. They’re both young, pretty, and dressed nicely. Kim is staring up ahead at how
long the security line is.

STEF:
I love your dress, Nic.

NICOLE:
Thanks. I never get to wear it.

KIM:
I fucking hate security. This is going to take forever.

Panel 4:
The three girls are still standing in the security line.

NICOLE:
You sound like you need a drink.
(cont’d)
Did you guys go out last night?

STEF:
We all went to RJ’s. Where’d you end up?

NICOLE:
Arguing with Brian as usual.

Panel 5:
The girls are walking through security.




Page Seven (five panels)

Panel 1:
The three girls are now standing beyond security in the airport terminal concourse. There are a lot of people. There are shops and restaurants and kiosks all around.

KIM:
We have to meet everyone to take the picture.

NICOLE:
What picture?

KIM:
Some gay sorority picture with everyone. I know. Totally lame. It’s like we’re fucking tourists.

Panel 2:
Nicole and Stef in the panel. They’re walking through the terminal as they speak.

STEF:
I thought you were gonna break up with Brian. I mean…you do realize he’s going to fuck like ten girls while you’re gone.

NICOLE:
Yeah…I don’t know. I don’t even wanna think about him right now. It’s just…it’s just too much
drama.

Panel 3:
A blonde, pudgy, cheerful girl, Lisa, approaches through the crowd.

LISA:
Finally. What took you so long?

Panel 4:
Lisa is in charge and in the front. Behind Lisa is the entire pack of sorority girls. They’re lining up for the picture.

LISA:
Come on! Come on!

Panel 5:
Close-up of where Nicole is standing in the back of the group.

NICOLE:
This is so embarrassing.



Page Eight/Nine (one panel)

Panel one:
This splash page is the picture taken of the sorority sisters. They’re all standing in the airport terminal. Most of them are smiling. There are thirty-four girls in three rows. The front row is on their knees. The back row is the taller girls. The middle row is the shorter girls.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #669

DC is getting all the buzz this month, but Marvel is happily chugging along with their respective big events and new series arrivals. This issue is Part 3 of "Spider Island," an event encompassing The Amazing Spider-Man, Herc, Black Panther and Venom, along with a bunch of one-shots and mini-series (29 issues altogether...you think anyone is actually going to read that many books?). The premise is stupid, sure, but I am kind of surprised it's never been done. A virus spreads through Manhattan that gives almost everybody spider powers. The evil behind it all turns out to be some chick named The Queen who I've never heard of. I guess Marvel is sick of The Green Goblin, Dr. Octopus, The Sandman, Vulture, Electro, Mysterio, and any other quality villain. The writing by Dan Slott is swift, humorous, and fairly pedestrian. The art by Humberto Ramos is a little sloppy here but I do enjoy is kinetic, cartoony vibe. The big problem is that while it's fun in a silly sort of way it's certainly not anything special or great. I miss Parker with MJ. I miss Parker working at The Daily Bugle. I miss the old-school villains. This special event and this book have been a little too dry lately. **1/2 (out of ****)

ACTION COMICS #1 + DETECTIVE COMICS #1

This is the second week of the new DC "52" initiative. Fifty-two #1 books will be launched, most with new writers/artists and all of them set in a new, different universe (kind of like "This Savage World" from Savage Dragon or the Ultimate universe in Marvel). Justice League is the big dog, but Action Comics is certainly second fiddle. This brings back Grant Morrison to Superman and raises the price to a dollar. They haven't put a premiere artist on Action Comics, but it has turned out to be an entertaining issue, albeit it feels too much like Superman: Earth One. The premise is that the cops are against Superman. Superman is new to Hobs Bay (yeah, not sure where the fuck Metropolis is). He's a reporter but he fights crime more than saves the planet. Everything is new: Luthor hasn't met him yet, he's not fucking Lois Lane yet, etc. In this issue he stops a loose train among other things. I do believe the "fresh" aspect of this universe has most old-school fans groaning, but honestly, it works. It works a little better in Tony S. Daniel's Detective Comics #1. We get to see the first meeting between Batman and The Joker. It doesn't feel stale, it feels suspenseful and chilling. Daniel is also a much better artist than Rags Morales who is drawing Action Comics. Detective Comics #1 is also super gruesome and sadistic. Daniel is fucking crazy. It's a good start for this new initiative DC is rolling out. ACTION COMICS #1 *** DETECTIVE COMICS #1 ***1/2

JUSTICE LEAGUE #1

It's a bold idea, I'll admit that. DC Comics is re-numbering every book #1 this month and most of them are getting new writers and artists. There are some new books, too, like this one, the flagship title, written by Geoff Johns and pencilled by Jim Lee. I'm actually very surprised such a bonkers idea got green lit. I bet Marvel is laughing their ass of, assuming this is a last ditch effort by a struggling, second tier company. All comics are struggling, though, and I bet DC gets a big boost this month in sales. The problem is that it won't last. The other problem is this: next September will Justice League #13 be out with Jim Lee and Geoff Johns still on board? Highly unlikely. DC isn't just re-numbering and shuffling writers and artists. They've also changed the entire universe. Superman and Batman haven't met until the final page of this issue. And superheroes in general are on the run, on the fringes. It's a new day, baby. That will make this book interesting, as it gives us a lot of story to sort through and uncover. But all of DC history is gone. That's a little ridiculous and will definitely be a problem for some books. This book in particular is a solid effort but nothing extraordinary. The art is colorful and vibrant and the banter between the Green Lantern and Batman is cute. It doesn't do enough, though, to make me care about the next issue. I've never read a mega-superhero group book that was downright awesome. They're usually all over the map and feature too many characters to let anything cohesive happen. This, really, just feels like another issue of Flashpoint. **