JUSTICE LEAGE: ENDLESS WINTER #2 (PART 9)

 

 

     If you're wondering what happens in this issue, the big finale to the ultra-lame "Endless Winter" story, then The Flash can fill you in. Aquaman shows up late and so The Flash tells him, "Batman, Wonder Woman, and Hippolyta discovered the real Frost King in a cavern...Superman and Black Adam are having a slight disagreement...and we summoned the spirit of the viking prince to inhabit a giant Swamp Thing body...who is currently fighting a huge Frost King avatar that's absorbed Kryptonian energy crystals." This is ridiculous and ludicrous, yet this is comics in its purest form. This kind of reminded me of how the new Wonder Woman movie got a few negative reviews and I thought: you know what? The people that don't like this movie don't like comic books...because Wonder Woman 1984 is kind of the apotheosis of comic books. It's fucking ridiculous! Silly, over-the-top, and with a child's sense of story and adventure. It's not serious Nolan Batman...which the critics adored. Most comic books are not Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns or Alan Moore's Watchmen. Most are like "Endless Winter," at least if you consider the whole history of comics since the 1930's. Granted, the dark, serious stuff tends to get the accolades these days, but comic books were born for kids. Maybe "Endless Winter" is just old school, and that's why it feels so irrelevant. This issue is the best of the series, though mostly because it's pretty much just an issue long fight scene. The Justice League does not kill the Frost King...he just ends up turning back into his human self. Stagg gets arrested. And we see that Black Adam was imprisoned back in the 10th century. Alls well that ends well! This issue does kind of put a period on DC comics for now. Starting next week, DC is only publishing Future State books for January, February, and March. And when the regular books return, there will be some new books and some new creative teams. The only Future State book I'm interested in reading is John Ridley's Batman. That book was actually supposed to the regular Batman book for the forseeable future but DC fired Dan Diddio and got rid of his 5G idea which was supposed to be forever but is now just 3 months long. So this ends the saga of the Frost King. I kind of wish they had killed him off...because I never want to see him again. *1/2

BLACK ADAM SPECIAL #1 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 8)

     The evil scientist dude, Stagg, has unearthed the Frost King's wife and kid. They were frozen in a block of ice below the Fortress of Solitude. So of course the Frost King shows up, as does Black Adam, since, well, this book has his name on it. There are also a bunch of other superheroes that show up at Stagg's lab for some reason. These are heroes you've never heard of and probably never will again. Multiplex? Dude's named after a movie theater. Catman? That has to be a bad joke. Is Catman a real superhero? Like he's actually been in other books? Do I have to look it up? Well, his first appearance was in Detective Comics #311 back in 1963 and he was a Batman villain. I'm guessing Catwoman came first. So who was the lazy idiot that created Catman? Really scraping the bottom of the barrel on brainstorming day that week. At the end of this issue, part 8 in the "Endless Winter" event, the Justice League shows up to fight and possibly defeat the Frost King. That, or to save him and defeat the evil Stagg. I will admit that at least the art in this issue is fairly decent. Brandon Peterson did the pencils and inks for the modern stuff (Marco Santucci is still doing the 10th century flashback stuff every issue). But back to more interesting things: Catman. Apparently, "a modern revival of the character in the pages of Green Arrow many years later depicted a Catman down on his luck, clinging to past glories, overweight, and pathetic." What past glories? I mean...he's in shape in "Endless Winter." Catman "was originally Thomas Reese Blake, a world famous trapper of jungle cats who turned to crime because he had grown bored with hunting and hand squandered most of his millions." Seriously, if you're ever bored, look up some lame comic book characters from the 60's and read their Wikipedia entries. They're hilarious. As for this issue? It's less entertaining than doing that. *1/2

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #29 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 7)

      Not a lot happens in this issue, which is kind of a surprise because I think this event is only 9 parts. The big thing that occurs in this issue is that an old Viking dude from the 10th century is reborn as Swamp Thing today. When he's reborn, a chimp says, "Oh yeah. I think this endless winter is about to get hot." Oh, did I not mention that there's a talking chimp in this issue? The chimp is the bartender at a bar that I think is supposed to be on Wonder Woman's island. Maybe all of this would make sense if I ever read Justice League Dark. Alas, I have not. Who's in the dark Justice League? After reading this issue, I still don't know. I think John Constantine was on the team when the book first started. I believe it started with the first New 52 launch. I actually probably read the first issue, as I think I tried all of the New 52 books when that launched because it was pretty exciting. DC is truly a mess these days, although I did enjoy Tom King's first issue of Batman/Catwoman. And as often as I disparage Tom King, his books are really the only interesting things going on at DC these days. Bendis' last issue of Action Comics was released today, so maybe the Superman books might have a chance of being good in the future. Batman and Detective Comics are both lousy, so that certainly doesn't help. I'm not even that excited about anything going on at Marvel these days, either. Image Comics is the only company that seems to produce books I really love these days. While I was reading "Endless Winter" part 7, which focuses mostly on Swamp Thing, I just kept thinking about Alan Moore's excellent Swamp Thing run. Swamp Thing is just about the dumbest superhero ever created, and yet Moore is such a great writer that somehow he made it excellent. There are definitely some good writers out there that might be able to put out an excellent book with Swamp Thing (Donny Cates? Ed Brubaker? Robert Kirkman?) these days. But, man, the pickings feel pretty slim. 1/2*

TEEN TITANS SPECIAL #1 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 6)

     I've read comics for a little over 30 years and have never read a Teen Titans book. I don't even really know who they are. I'm assuming a superhero group of teenagers. I thought Robin was in the group but he's not, nor maybe never was. I'm wondering if this book was ever popular or ever good. What is the deal with it? Wikipedia says that it started in 1964 and Robin was a member. So was Aqualad, perhaps the dumbest superhero name ever. Jeez, no wonder comic books have always had that "nerd" moniker attached to them. "Who the fuck d'you think you are? Aqualad?" a bully might have said in 1965 before stuffing a comic book lover into a locker. Or not. Wikipedia also mentions that Aqualad dated Aquagirl. Seriously, this Wikipedia entry for Aqualad is much more entertaining than Teen Titans Endless Winter Special #1. It mentions that "while trying to free the ascending Golden Eagle from the clutches of a member of the Wildebeast Society, Aqualad fell from a great height, his body mangled and his bones shattered on the rocks of a sea wall below." Later on, Aqualad became Tempest and "destroyed the Aquagirl zombie that had seduced him and, using his full range of powers, sent his uncle back into the other-dimensional prison void, sealing the portal forever." He sure lived a full life. There's more, but of course there is...there's 54 years of history for the character. Sadly, Aqualad/Tempest is not in "Endless Winter" part 6. The Teen Titans are a bunch of unknowns to me, though one of them is a Jr. Flash character. The only part of this book that kind of moves the plot forward is when Wonder Woman and The Flash show up and go to Wonder Woman's home, the island where all the warrior chicks live. And that's the big climax. This event so far has been pretty awful, and this is by far the worst issue. The writing and art in every issue has been fairly mediocre. I'm not entirely sure who decided it was a good idea to even do this book. Part 7 is next week in Justice League Dark, a book I thought didn't exist anymore. Is John Constantine still in it? That'd be kind of funny, actually. 1/2*

JUSTICE LEAGUE #58 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 5)

     

     Funny how a snowstorm hit today and right now sleet is pounding against my window as I review a book called "Endless Winter." We only got maybe four or five inches but it's been awhile since we had a major nor'easter around here. I probably should be reading a book set in a tropical paradise or something. And the big thing that bothers me about this book is that this endless winter is supposed to have temperatures plunging to fifty below yet there's all these scenes of regular people walking around outside. Wouldn't you die instantly from that? Granted, I can't really complain about logic when there's characters flying around or running super fast. But with crazy stuff like that you'd think this book would be fun, right? I mean...superhero books are supposed to be fun. At least, that was the point before The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen kind of brought forth this noir style of comic book. So no, this event isn't fun. It's kind of depressing. The Frost King was a guy in the 10th century that lost his son. And now, in the current time period, the world is awash in a gloomy, endless, frozen tundra with monsters. There are a few comedic quips here and there, but not enough to make this book light hearted. It does feel kind of old school in that it's fairly simplistic. In this issue, we get more 10th century flashback. Black Adam flies through the air and rams the Frost King. Why is Black Adam still alive now, though? I don't even really know who that character is. What hero's villain is he? Or is he just some random DC bad guy that pops up everywhere? We also get the Justice League battling the Frost King...but no! It's just an avatar! Huh? I've never liked the Justice League book, mostly because it's never been any good, though team books usually never are for whatever reason. It was announced today that Brian Bendis is going to be writing Justice League soon. Ugh. At least he might still have the artist that did this book, Xermanico. Yep, dude has a one word moniker like he's Prince or something. But his art was better than the flashback art. This event is moving at a glacial pace. Get it? "Glacial" because it's about winter? Sigh. 1/2*

AQUAMAN #66 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 4)

  

     When DC Comics did their first New 52 reboot, one of the best books was Aquaman. The story wasn't exactly fresh or new, but the art by Ivan Reiss was spectacular and Geoff Johns knows how to entertain. That run didn't last very long and I haven't read Aquaman since. That book came out all the way back in 2011. DC did another New 52 reboot since then...which is why Aquaman is only at #66. I do know that Aquaman and Mera got married and had a kid recently. Other than that, I haven't heard too much about that book. Besides the Superman and Batman books, the other DC titles are kind of forgotten and lost in the shuffle, at least lately. This particular issue is "Endless Winter" part 4. "Endless" seemingly being a misnomer because the winter will eventually, obviously end. I don't really see how in two years, Aquaman will still be battling ice monsters being the endless winter is, well, endless. In this issue, the ocean is not, in fact, frozen, though there are ice monsters underwater somehow. Aquaman goes to the depths of the Earth to get help from the fire trolls. Yes, this issue as stupid as it sounds. That's pretty much all that happens in this issue, though there is a short prelude back in the 10th century where Black Adam and Swamp Thing and a few others battle the Frost King and Swamp Thing dies. For an event book that's only lasting December, you'd kind of think there'd be more progress and the plot would be faster paced. The Frost King ends the issue asking himself, "Where? Where are they?" I mean...are dudes like Batman, Superman, and The Flash really that hard to find? I wouldn't think so. The art in this issue, by Miguel Mendonca, is decent, though the 10th century art by Marco Santucci is fairly sloppy. The colors in the book are vibrant. Although, when the best thing about a book is the color, that's a pretty big problem. 1/2*

SUPERMAN SPECIAL #1 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 3)

  

    Brian Bendis is leaving Superman and Action Comics this month, so I guess he didn't want to give up his last few issues to a stupid event. That's why "Endless Winter" part 3 takes place in an oddly titled Superman Special #1 book. Bendis isn't writing this, either. Andy Lanning and Ron Marz are writing all of the "Endless Winter" books. I don't even know who those guys are, but a quick search reveals that they both worked on some Marvel crossover book called Annihilation. Never heard of it. They're both in their mid 50's and have seemingly worked on a bunch of titles at every company over the years. I'm not exactly sure why all of a sudden they're writing a random DC event book now. Considering this event book isn't very good probably presents a good reason why I've never heard of them. But...this is actually the best issue so far. We finally learn the origin of the Frost King...not that anyone was actually clamoring to know it. Back in the 10th century, some dude realized he had the power to freeze things. Villagers turned on him and blamed him for harsh winters and so he struck back and became evil. After that we get to see Superman in action. He helps out Lois Lane delivering kids to a hospital then he goes to visit his parents in Smallville. When he enters his parents house he says, "You both seem pretty relaxed considering there were ice monsters right outside." So this is a comedy now? At the end of this book we return to the evil Mr. Stagg, who woke up the Frost King when he was drilling through the ice at the old Fortress of Solitude (Bendis made a new Fortress of Solitude in the Bermuda Triangle for no good reason). Mr. Stagg learns that there are three bodies frozen in the ice where the Fortress of Solitude used to be and that they're still alive. Shocking! Hmmm. Who could they be? Do I care? Part 4 is in Aquaman. Is the ocean frozen, too? That would make the Aquaman book obsolete. Right? *1/2

THE FLASH #767 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 2)

   

     

     They reverted back to the original numbering on some of the DC titles. I'm not sure why they bothered to do that with The Flash but not Batman. They did it on Action Comics and Detective Comics so they could publish #1000, which makes sense. The Flash started out as Flash Comics all the way back on November 20th, 1939. That's fucking nuts...that I'm reading a book that started that long ago and still exists. 81 years should have produced more than 767 issues, though, right? What's 12 x 81? 972. So I guess it wasn't continuously published, though it's bi-weekly these days. I've never been a big fan of the character. Have there ever been any significant, famous runs? The reason there hasn't is probably because some of the more famous writers like Alan Moore and Frank Miller never wrote it back in their heyday. Either way, this is part 2 of the "Endless Winter" event. A Frost King has awoken and plunged the world into an icy, death zone with monsters. In this issue, The Flash ends up at Black Adam's palace to recuperate. Also we get some backstory in the 10th century where a few heroes also battled the Frost King. There's not a lot here, though it's only 20 pages. The art is better than the art in the first part. Clayton Henry did the pencils and inks. His stuff kind of looks like Ryan Ottley's. And I'm only thinking of Ryan Ottley because he worked on a new, surprise book with Robert Kirkman that's coming out next week called Solid Blood #17. The gimmick is that it's the first issue of that book. Ottley has a Marvel only contract, so I'm not sure how he pulled that off since it's an Image book. There weren't any surprises with The Flash #767. I'm guessing the heroes eventually defeat the Frost King at the end and all is well and this event will be totally forgotten. So I guess with it being pointless, it being entertaining would help. So far they've kind of failed on that part. *

JUSTICE LEAGUE- ENDLESS WINTER #1

     DC Comics fired their publisher, Dan Didio, earlier this year. One of the reasons was probably that some people didn't like his new, bold, 5G idea that was supposed to happen this Fall. He was going to replace all of the big superheroes like Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman with new, younger characters. Bruce Wayne would retire or die and Lucius Fox's son, Luke Fox (Batwing), would be the new Batman. I'm not sure who the other new characters were supposed to be, but we will find out because they are still doing 5G, albeit in a shortened, two-month version now known as Future States. While I can see the uproar from some people about replacing classic characters, I can also see why Dan Didio was going to do it. It would be so controversial and so shocking that it'd probably sell a lot of issues and get people talking...which is kind of what the comic book business needs these days since new readers seem to to not exist in the comic book world, at least in the numbers the business needs to thrive. This was always Didio's idea as publisher: to shake things up. He did the new 52 where every issue reverted back to #1. He put Bendis on both Superman books. He published Before Watchmen. Well he's gone, and DC has already announced that they're going to cut the number of books published next year. That means DC's best book, John Constantine: Hellblazer, probably won't be coming back (it ended at #12 last week). As will other, low-on-the-totem-pole books. What we'll probably see is Batman, Superman, The Flash, Justice League, Wonder Woman, and not much else. Which is kind of sad, actually. Before Future States starts, though, we're getting a month long event book titled "Endless Winter." It'll run 8 parts through a bunch of titles and mainly features the Justice League characters. After reading this first issue, I'm kind of at a loss for why this even exists. It feels like a throwback book and something that young kids would read and enjoy. Since most comics these days feel mature and dark and more for old heads like me, this feels kind of jarring. And while I don't mind reading fun romps aimed at younger kids (Lumberjanes is great...if you've never read it), Justice League- Endless Winter #1 is fucking terrible. First off, it's about the least original plot in comics ever. The Frost King, an evil dude made of ice, comes out of the ground where the fortress of solitude used to be (Bendis destroyed it...as he also destroyed any pleasure had while reading a Superman book lately). The Frost King imposes winter across the world. The Justice League has to save the day! Ugh. I suppose I wouldn't have minded this book if the art was decent. The cover by Mikel Janin is great, but the interiors done by Howard Porter are awful. The book looks sloppy. Everyone's face is drawn really distorted; looking at them makes me feel like I'm tripping on acid. The plot and dialogue by Andy Lanning and Ron Marz is terrible. There are all these weird scenes of Aquaman and The Flash pondering their family life for some reason. Unfortunately, that doesn't really fit into a book that's supposed to be a big adventure, action-packed, event book. The big climax reveal has a few characters in 10th century Egypt dealing with The Frost King. The Swamp Thing is alive and in 10th century Egypt? Who greenlit this crap? 1/2*