EMPYRE #4

 

Maybe it’s because I’m not reading all of the spin-off issues…but I seemed to learn more about this book by reading the “previously” synopsis at the beginning of this issue than I did reading the first three issues. I guess it’s not that confusing. I’ve pretty much just been calling it plant man vs. everyone…which is basically true. There are a lot of characters in this that I don’t know…although Mantis, who, somehow, is Quoi’s (the plant man) mother. I do know…because she was in the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie. I’m not sure if this is a revelation or it happened it some previous Marvel book I never read…but Hulkling, who is Swordman’s (no, I don’t know who that is) son, and is also the leader of the new Kree/Skrull alliance, married a man, who shows up in this issue. Hulkling’s husband is Billy Kaplan, aka Wiccan. Who are these people? I’m genuinely curious what book all of these people are in. I’ve been reading X-Men for the last year and they’re not in that. I did read some of Danny Coates’ Guardians of the Galaxy a year or two ago and they weren’t in that. I started reading Dan Slott’s Fantastic Four run and they weren’t in that. I’ve read some of Jason Aaron’s Avengers run and they’re not in that. So what book are these people in? I suppose the big question is…what other books are out there that they could be in? I would say maybe a Young Avengers book but does that even exist? It seems that to understand any of what’s going on in this series you’d have to have read and studied every Marvel book for the last five years…which is kind of a problem. Does Marvel want new readers? Or do they just want to ostracize them? I read the original “Kree/Skrull War” storyline a few months ago and that featured a ton of characters I didn’t know much about…but it was written in a way that brought you up to speed. Empyre feels like the exact opposite; it’s throwing all these random characters around that you’re probably supposed to know and/or care about but you don’t…unless maybe your Marvel’s biggest super fan. The other thing in this particular issue that is kind of awful is that She-Hulk is dead…but she was killed “off page” sometime ago and it’s just revealed in this issue when she’s really just a husk that’s been taken over by an evil plant alien thing. Okay…not that She-Hulk is such a great, legendary character or anything…but, still…killing her awhile back and not even showing it? Lame. Shouldn’t that have been like a big deal when it happened? Groan. I probably should talk about the plot if this issue. Hulkling might be an imposter because he wants to use the Pyre, which is a weapon that will destroy the plant men known as the Cotati but it will also destroy the sun and kill everyone on Earth. There’s also a battle going on in Wakanda where the Cotati want to set up the Death Blossom that will also kill everyone on Earth. Jeez…you think everyone on Earth is going to die and Marvel will stop publishing books and that’s the end of the company? Maybe that’s the problem with these event books that provide huge stakes that are obviously never going to result in any kind of long term damage. So far this book is just all over the map in a bad way. I will admit that the art, which is by the same team that did the first three issues, is colorful and vibrant and alive. But for $4.99 with only 20 pages of art…this book is a rip-off. Everyone is tired of these boring, bulging event series and yet they keep publishing them to help their profit margins. I’d like to think maybe that will change, but there’s an ad in this book for the next big event, the X-Men’s X of Swords, so it doesn’t seem like that’s ever going to happen. ½*