NEMESIS #2

Well, it's not even half as good as Kick-Ass. The art helps, as Steve McNiven is a superstar artist. The story, though, is fairly dull, even though it's trying to be nothing short of awesome. The premise is that there's a super-villain who is rich and powerful and trying to take down a great, unstoppable chief of police in Washington, D.C. The super-villain has kidnapped the president and done a bunch of other outrageous things like crash Air Force One and spread a poisonous chemical inside the Pentagon. It sounds so thrilling yet it's not at all interesting. The problem I guess is that it's mean-spirited. That's kind of the point, though, unless the bad guy loses in the end, which would be kind of a cop-out. At the close of this issue, Nemesis is apprehended by the D.C. cops. When he's being handcuffed he shouts, “You retards! You brain-dead little shits...You think I didn't plan all this?” So maybe his big masterful plan will make #3 a little more entertaining. *1/2

BATMAN #700

Bizarre writer extraordinaire Grant Morrison wrote this issue and Tony Daniel, Andy Kubert, David Finch, Scott Kollins, and Frank Quitely penciled it. The problem? Only Quitely's art is phenomenal, the others are average at best. Daniel's art is usually awe-inspiring stuff, but here it looks sloppy and unfocused. David Finch's art is also too dark, too odd. Quitely's is great, but he only does five pages. The story, albeit discombobulated and near incomprehensible, is actually entertaining and fairly readable. It deals with time and The Joker, and isn't really worth rehashing (good luck trying to explain it, anyway). As much as I admire Morrison, I really think that Batman has lost its edge since he was brought on board. He's certainly made things interesting, but more often than not he's presented a great premise only to go nowhere with it logically. Where's the dark Batman or the fun Batman? Morrison's Batman is a mixture of both with no footing in reality or fantasy. It's a mystery never fleshed out, a combination of everything that comes out unreadable. If Morrison didn't have Daniel or Quitely drawing such awesome pages, nobody would give him the time of day. Still, I enjoyed this issue more than most of Morrison's recent work. For starters, it's a self-comprised story with a beginning and ending, and while it doesn't make that much sense it's not totally baffling. And Quitely's art is so damn good, I'd pay to see him draw a fucking subway station for twenty pages. The dude's got it. ***

CHEW #11

Rarely does a book come out where both the artist and writer are spectacular. Usually I'll get a book because I like a writer or a writer/artist and often I'll pick up a book because I like the artist but it rarely happens that I'll pick up a book because I like the writer and I like the artist. Chew would be a phenomenal book if it only had one piece of the puzzle because the writing is zany, swift, bizarre, and oh-so fun and the art is top-notch, jaw-droppingly creative, and a pleasure to gaze upon. This is truly one of the best new books in years, a fresh feature from two nobodies. It's so good that this issue isn't even all that great but it's still miles ahead of most mainstream stuff out there. This issue presents a new arc, “Just Desserts.” Agent Chu gets his date with the beautiful food critic. They just so happen to attend a dinner that serves famous, extinct delicacies like Dodo eggs. The catch? It's an ultra-secretive society. And it's sort of illegal. Chu ends up putting two bullets through a guy's skull and sleeping with the food critic. Hi-five! This issue also has a terrifically cool cover with a wooly mammoth. Nice. ***

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #11

The best Marvel monthly out there these days, this book has picked up speed again with a doppelganger plot. Mysterio beats up and knocks out Peter Parker and takes his form, thus making the next few issues even more interesting. We know the “evil” Peter Parker is going to hook-up with Mary-Jane (thanks to the teaser cover for #12), but what else? Will things get super ugly? Probably not, as writer Brian Bendis keeps things mostly in family-friendly mode for this book (he had a character impale a baby on a spike in an issue of Powers this year). Bendis does family-friendly well, though, as his cute/funny dialogue is infectious and fun and his stories are always fairly breezy and light (when Bobby aka “Iceman” gets a job at the fast-food place, Johnny Storm aka “The Human Torch,” shows up to bust his balls. Bobby: “Can I take your order?” Johnny: “Let's see...do you have any dignity? No, it looks like you're all out.”) Having a round-up of teens populating this book now helps, as some of the more clever lines and amusing moments are now picked up by Ice-Man and The Human Torch who are now living with Aunt Mary, Gwen, and Peter. The art by David Lafuente is the icing on the cake. The book is light, sure, but it's fun. ***

CAPTAIN AMERICA #606

I missed the last arc, so I missed Bucky killing the 1950's Captain America, the Tea-Party controversy, and Sin apparently peeling her face off (she now looks like daddy, the Red Skull). Certainly it sounds like I missed an awesome storyline, but the reviewers have said that it was the worst of the current Brubaker run. This issue is very well-done, so I'm glad I've returned. When writer Ed Brubaker is on he's on, and this is a typically excellent issue. It has all the classic hallmarks of a good Brubaker issue: there's darkness, a vicious villain, and cool spy hi-jinks. The art, by Butch Guice, looks like it came right out of a 50's dime novel. Not a crackerjack of a plot here, but it's same-old in a good way. *** (out of ****)

SWEET TOOTH #10

This book is great, although it's getting a tad stale while Gus is in captivity. In this issue a doctor hypnotizes Gus and takes him back to his past. We learn that Gus' father was writing his own Bible. We learn that there was a picture of Gus' mother, although it seems that Gus was born in a lab like Kyle XY. Things should start heating up in the next issue when the doctors and evil, mad scientists head off to Gus' home in Nebraska to look for answers. I envision a break out and escape for Gus and perhaps a penultimate battle? The art is ragged but the dialogue and story keep everything moving. Not a terrific issue compared to the others, but it's still very engrossing stuff. It's sad, too, but compelling. **1/2

I ZOMBIE #2

And it all comes together. The first issue was mostly a book with a plethora of monster cliches; the zombie, the vampire, the ghost, the werewolf, etc. It didn't entirely make a cohesive, entertaining book. It felt more like a bunch of ideas that didn't connect. This issue, however, is better, richer, and more alive. The pieces are slowly fitting into place, even with a new added threat: the mysterious mummy/invisible man character. The spectacular, iconic art certainly helps. Artist Mike Allred seems to be channeling the 1950's with his art. It fits because back then there were a ton of lame, B-monster movies that arrived for the drive-in set. This book feels like a 1950's I Married a Werewolf type of film
with it's aw-shucks attitude and quirks and scary monsters that seem more playful and humorous than deadly. In this issue we learn that the werewolf is really a typical nerd working in the IT department at a nursing home. His friends decide to finally go out on a Saturday night and happen to catch the eye of a female vampire that runs a pack of vamps that used to run a paintball company. Meanwhile, the zombie grave-digger (she has to eat a brain once a month to remain normal) keeps getting visions from the last dead guy whose brain she devoured. He was murdered and perhaps this mummy/invisible man was the culprit. And there's a cute, blonde ghost milling about. It's a lot, sure, but it works. It's not really fresh but it is strange and fun and pretty to look out. Definitely one to stick with. ***1/2 (out of ****)

GREEK STREET #12

The old players are gone, at least for a bit, and we get this strange respite about a soldier returning from his time in Afghanistan. He's losing his mind. He sees an Ancient Greek warrior following him for no good reason. Does it have something to do with the innocent father he accidentally killed? Or perhaps his dead comrades killed by a bomb? I guess this story is adapted from some Ancient Greek text. Perhaps footnotes or an author's end-note would be helpful to make the connection. We are, after all, comic book readers, not Rhodes Scholars. There's a new artist drawing this arc, Werther Dell'Erdera. His stuff is bare, stark, comic-y but nice. It's basic, and the story is as well. It feels a little tired. **

SCALPED #38

The return of artist R.M. Guera is good news. The art here is incredibly detailed, gritty, full-blown and majestic. Guera's style fits perfectly with writer Jason Aaron's crime-infested narrative. The lowlifes and gangsters are dark and evil and bad ass and come across as warriors. The story in this issue is a flashback to Vietnam. Wade was in the war, then smuggled heroin, then was asked to work undercover for the F.B.I. in South Dakota. The target? Gina Bad Horse. As much as I hate that this book keeps circling around the main story, this current flashback arc is a great one. The art helps, but the writing is in a class by itself. It's epic and awesome. ***1/2

SECRET AVENGERS #1

Because Marvel is greedy, there are now going to be three $3.99 monthly Avengers books. It is smart because for some reason Mighty Avengers and New Avengers were always two of Marvel's best-selling titles. Last year they added Dark Avengers. I'm guessing three is not too much. Marvel has also stacked the deck in the creative department. This series, the C.I.A., covert-ops style of Avengers, is being written by Ed Brubaker. That's awesome, as he's Marvel's best writer. They stuck the runt of the litter to do the art on this book, though. While Mike Deodato isn't a terrible artist, he's not half as good as John Romita, Jr. nor as good as Stuart Immonen, the other two Avengers artists. The big problem with this book is that the famous superheroes are in the premiere Avengers title. This group has the B-heroes: Moon Knight, Steve Rogers, Ant-Man, Beast, two chicks I've never heard of (Valkyrie & Black Widow), War Machine, Nova, and Sharon Carter. Brubaker has also had a problem in the past at writing a superhero team book. His run on Uncanny X-Men wasn't very memorable, and the first arc out of the gate has the team traveling to Mars (groan). The issue is quick and semi-interesting, though, but not mind-blowingly intense. For a first issue you want something awesome. This is just mildly amusing. **1/2

CHOKER #3

Author Irvine Welsh is Scottish. Is it the constantly gray skies? The writers from Scotland are fucking nuts. Writer Ben McCool has written an increasingly bleak, super-violent, wallowing-in-garbage story that features cannibals, cops, drugs, and vampires. I suppose it doesn't help that artist Ben Templesmith has made this book look as dark as Charles Manson's mind. And while the look and story are dark, it's actually a wildly entertaining book that feels fresh and vibrant and alive. The story takes place in a world where the cops have to take a drug that will bulk them up. It's called Man-Plus. The problem is that there are side-effects, one of them being alien hand syndrome. The main character suffers from that syndrome and has been known to inadvertently choke himself, hence the title name. The main character is also an ex-cop who has been put back on the force to help catch a cannibal serial killer. Meanwhile, a new drug is making the rounds in the city and it turns people into vampires. There's a big action scene in this issue when some vamps attack the cops, but the art is dark and smudgy and the action is hard to follow. The basic premise and gritty world is compelling enough to make everything work, though, regardless of the incomprehensibility of some of the sequences. This is sick, sadistic stuff but it's definitely worth reading. ***

THE WALKING DEAD #72

The current storyline in this book reminds me of the bait-and-switch tactic that was used in the movie Hostel: Part II. In that film there was an asshole and a friendly guy that were buddies. It was obvious to me that eventually the asshole would be shocked at violence and end up the wuss whereas the friendly guy would turn out to revel in the savagery. I think that writer/director Eli Roth wrote that into the script because he thought that it would be a shocking twist for the audience. 'Oh my God!' the audience would shout. 'That nice guy is fucking crazy! What an M. Night twist!' Writer Robert Kirkman might have had the same idea here. The characters from this book have murdered people, sure, but only bad guys or zombies. They've shown up at a friendly compound outside of Washington, D.C. It seemed obvious to me that the main characters, who have been the good guys, will end up fucking up the idyllic world and in turn become villainous. I was right. In this issue, Rick decides to sneak around and plot to get his guns back. It's the first step in ruination. There's also a house-warming type of party that goes on and everyone seems baffled by the regularity of things. Until the carnage arrives, this arc is wallowing in mediocrity. **

HELLBLAZER #267

This is part one of a new storyline. In typical John Constantine fashion, his world is crumbling all around him. In this issue it's happening literally. It's a trick of the mind, but who's the dastardly one behind it all? Either way, John blames Epiphany and punches her and then regrets it. The issue closes with him calling Shade, The Changing Man. Who is Shade, The Changing Man? Apparently a character that Steve Dikto created in the 70's and writer Peter Milligan has worked on. Does this mean that Milligan is already bored with Constantine or does he have something up his sleeve? I guess we'll find out in the next issue. The art in this issue is terrific stuff. The great duo of Guiseppe Camuncoli and Stefano Landini are the artists on this arc, and their stuff is standard but very cartoon-ish. I like its crispness, and the action is easy to follow. As for the story; it's typical. Milligan had one great arc in him it seems. Lately he's been boring even himself. ** (out of ****)

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #10

Meanwhile, Brian Bendis' other superhero book is taking a darker, more dramatic turn. Kitty Pryde has been targeted by the government since she's a mutant and mutants are outlawed. They try to arrest her at school but she escapes and eventually goes nuts, turning villainous and shooting fireballs at everyone. We last see her in a sewer as she cries her eyes out. Boy, it sucks being a teenage girl. That's the point, right? To showcase the trials and tribulations of being in high school but as it relates to superheroes? And while this is all very serious, the issue is a little less entertaining than past ones. The art by Davide Lafuente is also a little bit rushed. The sequence where the principal gives everyone a morality lesson is stretched out way too far. Bendis has a knack for comedy and he does sometimes attempt to throw out some serious themes but has yet to put everything on a level playing field that works. This is one of if not the best Marvel titles out there, so it's a little sad that it's been slightly floundering lately. **

THE AVENGERS #1

The real #1 of The Avengers came out in 1963. So what has changed? I've never read that first issue, but I have read the first dozen issues of The Amazing Spider-Man from that era. The thing that I've noticed is the ironic, tongue-in-cheek, wink-wink comedy is much more prominent now. This book is more or less akin to a one-hour stand-up set by a comedian. Even the fearsome villain, Kang, shows up and Steve Rogers admits that he's “before your time, Bucky.” Wasn't Bucky around for WW2? Marvel wasn't even invented yet. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that this issue is chock full of one-liners. Kang tells The Avengers that he has “words from the future that you need to hear.” Spider-Man quips: “Do I ever find true love?” In one sense, an action-packed, serious, dramatic superhero-book might not be as entertaining, but on the other hand, do we really want to pay $3.99 every month for a joke book? Writer Brian Bendis has tackled super-serious stuff in the past (most notably in his book Powers), so I hope that this “fun” book eventually fleshes itself as something more important with all of the elements that make a book work instead of just the lighthearted stuff. The story is basically The Avengers assembling. We've got Iron Man and Spider-Man and Hawkeye and both Captain Americas and Thor and Wolverine and Spiderwoman. Obviously, it's a lot of great characters to work with. Kang is the villain from the future, but the last page reveals that an evil Hulk might be the mastermind. The story is fairly lame but the art by John Romita, Jr. is epic, awesome stuff. It's a fun book so far but has a long way to go to before it becomes anything more than a colorful romp. **1/2

HAUNT #7

Greg Capullo is the new artist now on this book, but it sure looks a lot like Todd McFarlane is drawing it. That's a good thing, as McFarlane was the greatest comic book artist of all time. The problem is that McFarlane is only inking this book but you can tell that he's itching to draw it. He goes completely overboard with the inks. How many fucking lines does a person need on their face? As for the story, this is more a bridge of an issue between arcs than anything substantial. The dead guy's wife finds out that he was a secret super spy. And the villain, after surgery, looks a little deformed. That's it. If the art wasn't so awesome I probably would care that not much happens. This book is a mix of Spider-man and Spawn, and not really as good or as intriguing as either. It looks great and is both stupid and simple. If a few downright awesome storylines don't show up soon, this book will become the afterthought most already believe it to be. **1/2

X-FACTOR #205

Well...they're not all dead. That's how much I enjoy this book; I was hoping the characters were all really dead. This is typical of most superhero group books. It's good, fun, and semi-complex but nothing great. Maybe it's hard to really knock one out of the park, because when was the last truly great superhero group book? It was probably the second mini-series of A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and that came out a few years ago. This book is entertaining and fun, but it's been a little stale, even with the change in direction once the gang moved to New York City. Apparently there's a big crossover storyline going on with all of the X-books. This book features a bit of that, as some villain from the future has returned to destroy all mutants. The art is surprisingly good, here, and the book is certainly action packed (there's a battle in the Dublin airport), but it just seems so typical and ordinary. Peter David is so famous, you would expect a little more excitement. **1/2