THE STRAIN #1

They always talk about the current plethora of monster stuff like there was a period in time when there were no vampire or zombie or werewolf books, movies, or TV shows. I find that hard to believe, although there are definitely a lot more these days of this "monster" genre. I'm not sure the origin of any of them in recent time, but I think 28 Days Later kicked off the current zombie surge (yes, even though it didn't feature zombies but a zombie-like virus) and of course the Twilight quadrilogy kicked off the vampire and werewolf craze. This new comic book, which Dark Horse will be putting out over three years, is about vampires. It's also, more or less, a lot like The Passage, Justin Cronin's vampire epic. Why it's become a comic after three books have already been published can be tied to the fact that film director Guillermo Del Toro co-wrote the books. He did the two Hellboy films, Pan's Labyrinth, and recently quit directing The Hobbit. The comic is in the hands of writer David Lapham (he's been writing Deadpool Max lately) and artist Mike Huddleston. An airplane shows up with a dead crew and dead passengers and a coffin at JFK. Cue the outbreak! For a buck, it's a good read, but it's literally more of the same. When the mummy craze starts, let me know. **1/2

SWEET TOOTH #28

Just admit it, Lemire; you got the idea for this book from a Fall Out Boy video. Either way, the book is at #28 already. Jesus. I didn't think it'd last let alone contain such emotion. It's also, certainly, ultra-bleak. Hell, in this issue a group of men kill a baby.
This is part 3 of 3 of the origin (maybe) of the disease that not only spawned babies being born half-animal but also killing off most of the world's population. Written by Jeff Lemire, this side story might be the best arc of the book so far. It features an Inuit tribe in Antartica and a group of English explorers in the early part of the twentieth century. The three issues have been drawn and painted (yes, painted) by Matt Kindt. It looks wonderful. But it's also very creepy, very sad, but very interesting.
Sweet Tooth, the antler-headed boy, was apparently spawned in a laboratory. So what's this business about these Inuit people unleashing a virus or demonic curse? Does it tie in? What's the deal?
This book started off great and then got a little stale after awhile. This arc has really put new life into it. It's a gorgeous looking arc that is ultimately sad but also very well written and very interesting. & it's a killer last page. ***1/2

THUNDER AGENTS #1

One of DC's better series, Thunder Agents, was unfortunately cancelled to make way for September's big "52" number-one issues. But they brought it back for a six-issue mini-series. The problems? Artist Cafu (yes, like Prince) is gone. And it's December...meaning everything that happened in the series previously I pretty much forgot (the last issue, #10, came out on August 10th). This means I was utterly confused. Yes, I know the premise; regular people get super powers to fight evil but these powers will eventually kill them. I forget who's bad and good and I forget most of the characters. This issue doesn't exactly deliver any sort of intro or summary either, so good luck! Spencer's dialogue is king as usual, but the story is confusing and bland. The art by Wes Craig is standard. Perhaps they should have just cancelled it for good? * (out of ****)

HAUNT #18

The Walking Dead TV show on AMC was one of the top rated cable TV programs last week as it always is. It was #4, behind two NFL games and a Nascar race. That means it was the highest rated "show." That's a big deal. And the problem is that Robert Kirkman may eventually quit writing comics altogether and focus on scripts, producing, and maybe even directing. We lost artist Stephen Platt to Hollywood so it does happen. & even if Kirkman continues to write comics, they might not be as good with his limited time and he probably won't continue writing new series. This issue of Haunt is his last. It will go on with a new artist, too, as Greg Capullo left to draw Batman. Most folks won't care. The critics loathed this book when it first came out and by this issue nobody really seemed to care or notice it anymore. Perhaps I was one of the few that actually liked it...albeit this final issue is mostly a mess. The premise is a hybrid of Spider-Man and Spawn. A CIA type fighter dude dies but his ghost shows up to talk and inhabit his brother. The catch is that when the ghost and brother merge they can turn into a super hero that can leap and fight and looks kind of like Spawn and Spider-Man. Kirkman introduced some interesting characters including two super-evil baddies and there were a lot of twists and turns that Kirkman is famous for. Capullo's awesome, detailed, fluid art certainly helped. He is one of the best artists out there, probably because he draws like McFarlane, who helped pencil this issue. It certainly wasn't the greatest series but it was entertaining and pretty to look at and a bit wild. & enjoy Kirkman's comics now before he's gone and us fanboys lament, "Fuck...remember Kirkman before he moved to Hollywood?" ** (out of ****)

STITCHED #1

I just finished reading Stephen King's 2008 novel, Duma Key. I started it in early 2008, got bored with it and put it down, then recently picked it back up and finished it. The premise is good but the execution is awful. It's a long book but could easily have been cut by three hundred pages. Reading it made me sad. When I was in middle school I loved King. I thought he was the greatest. I'm not sure if he got worse or I started to have better taste, but reading anything by Garth Ennis these days gives me that same sad feeling. Remember how awesome Preacher was? Picking up a new book by Ennis is exciting because you think that magic might return...until you start reading. Punisher Max, The Boys, Jennifer Blood, and now Stitched are all mediocre. They feature blood, profanity, shocking images, and insane comedy...but they just don't have that wild, engrossing, entertainment punch that Preacher had. It's sad to think that Ennis will never write another book as great as his first big series.
As for Stitched, it features walking dead people in Afghanistan and is based on Ennis' own 17 minute short film. It's bloody, semi-creepy, but mostly just stale. Like King's early stuff, I miss the thrill. *1/2 (out of ****)

SPACEMAN #1

Sure, there's been a lot of big events in the comic book world this year and a slew of new books and a hell of a lot going on. BUT...I've been anticipating this book, Spaceman, more than the rest. Why? Well, duh, it's Eduardo Risso and Brian Azzarello back together on a Vertigo title. This time it's sci-fi. If you don't remember, these two did 100 issues of 100 Bullets. Over the summer they put out a semi-cool 3-part Batman tale. They work well together. They're like the Albert and Costello or the Frazier and Ali of the comic book world. And while the first issue of nine of Spaceman isn't extraordinary, it's definitely engrossing, interesting, different, and pretty to look at. The story has a half-man half-ape dude that explored space for the government but is now retired, addicted to drugs, into cyber porn, and engulfed in a case of a missing girl amidst a bleak Dystopian future world. The dialogue by Azzarello is a lot like the future-slang of A Clockwork Orange. It's oft-putting at first, but really brings this future world to life. & the art by Risso is so unique, so flawless and fluid and dream-like. Reading this is like going to another world. Which is kind of the point. ***

THE INCREDIBLE HULK #1 + WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN #1

Wow, jeez, a #1 issue of the Hulk! What'll this be worth in thirty years? Sadly, probably less than the $3.99 cover price. Unless buyers in the future are dumb enough to think that this is the "real" first ever issue of the Hulk. But I bought it, so I guess there's your reason to re-brand a long running book as a #1 issue. Will the year 2011 forever be known as that dumb year in comics with a thousand #1 issues? Or will people think comics started in 2011? It's an easy argument: if comics didn't start in 2011 then why did Superman #1, Batman #1, Detective Comics #1, Daredevil #1, The Punisher #1, Action Comics #1, The Uncanny X-Men #1, Thor #1, Captain America #1, and The Incredible Hulk #1 all come out that year? Either way, this new Hulk book has a stellar team. Jason Aaron is writing it and Marc Silvestri is co-penciling it. Yes, it's sad that Silvestri left Image and is only co-drawing this book. The art is good but he draws a bad Hulk. He draws a better Bruce Banner, who is, more or less, Dr. Moreau on his island of talking animals. That's the plot: The Island of Dr. Moreau. And while it's cool it's also a complete rip-off. Jason Aaron is also writing Wolverine and the X-Men #1. The art, sadly, is too dark and blocky. The usual awesome Chris Bachalo art is somehow missing here. The plot is more or less Wolverine giving a tour to state inspectors of his new mutant school in New York. A bad guy kid shows up and the earth rumbles and spits out monsters. Yep, totally boring. THE INCREDIBLE HULK #1 ** (out of ****) WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN #1 *

30 DAYS OF NIGHT #1

I'm guessing you saw the movie. Yeah, me too. So writer Steve Niles has been doing various sequels to his break out hit for awhile now. This is the latest. The big problem? This new "sequel" or continuation doesn't even have a new fucking name. Why is that a problem? The original comic book was about vampires in Alaska during the winter when the sun never comes out for an entire month. So there's, like, no escape from the vamps. This series takes place in sunny Los Angeles so the title makes no sense. Either way, the book is mildly entertaining but mostly a throwaway. I read it because I love Sam Keith's artwork and haven't seen him lately (he drew a Batman tale a year or two ago but what else has he been doing since The Maxx?). The artwork is so unique; it's like the rough sketches of a goth kid in high school art class meets the nightmares of David Lynch. The story by Niles is pretty thin; a chick looking into vampires just happens to run into them. There's a last page reveal but it doesn't push the book into more interesting territory. Are you sick of vampires yet? ** (out of ****)

THE STRANGE TALENT OF LUTHOR STRODE #1

This book was on the cover of some comic book magazine a few months back; Previews maybe. But I remembered when I saw it I thought to myself: this book must be really special to get the cover. Was someone famous writing or drawing it? What's the deal? Usually the cover to Previews or the old Wizard magazine featured a mainstream superhero. After reading the first issue I totally understand. This book is exhilarating, odd, funny, and totally sadistic. It's wild stuff. The premise is simple and, honestly, stupid, but it works. Remember those old ads in comic books for crazy things like x-ray specs and guidebooks that'll give you super strength in, like, five days? Well what if they were real? A big-time nerd in high school finds out the truth when he orders a "Hercules" book that guarantees muscles and power in no time. He gets more power than he asked for of course. And there's a super-villain that has the same powers but seems to be using them for evil. It sounds like such a dumb premise but writer Justin Jordan has written a terrific story around it. The book is extremely bloody but it's also very funny and very entertaining. The art by Tradd Moore hews towards the cartoon side of things. This works well with the zany premise. All in all it's a great rush of a read. Not perfect of course; nothing usually is. There's the typical dork sidekick/friend, the evil bully, the mother minus father. I had such a fun time reading it that the cliches didn't bother me too much. Looking forward to #2. ***1/2 (out of ****)

ALL STAR WESTERN #1

I actually watched the Jonah Hex movie that came out a year ago. Before that I had no idea who the fuck Jonah Hex was. I've read comics since the early 90's and didn't even know it existed. Go figure. The movie certainly sucked but the few issues I have read of the comic book since then have been entertaining, especially the Eduardo Risso-drawn one that came out awhile back. This is the new start of the book amidst DC's cavalcade of #1 issues storming the comic book stores, most of them hit-or-miss, and I have to say that so far this is my favorite. There are reasons for that, as it's really nothing new or fresh at all. Do you like old-school London? Do you like Jack the Ripper tales? Do you like inspectors sorting out mysteries in a dangerous city long ago? You'll love this. Hex arrives in Gotham City post-Civil War and is hired to find the Gotham Butcher, a seriously sadistic killer that butchers prostitutes. Hex is helped by Dr. Arkham, a snobby, uppity psychologist. Gotham is dirty and fierce and Hex is a total Schwarzenegger. The art by Moritat (like Prince with the one word name I suppose...so mysterious) is terrific; the characters are drawn bare-bones but the people and surroundings are large, ominous, and crowd-friendly. The internal monologue by Arkham gets old and it's a by-the-numbers serial killer tale but it's engrossing stuff and has a wicked To Be Continued... climax. The highlight of DC's New 52 for sure. ***1/2

ALPHA DELTA DEATH #1

Page One (four panels)

Panel 1:
Big panel. A shot of a college sorority house. It’s night. The house is three floors, white, typical, standard sorority house. It looks like rich kids live there. There are bushes, trees. A lamp post. A porch. It looks nice, welcoming.

Panel 2:
Nicole is skinny, tall, red-haired, and very pretty. She is standing in a bedroom. She is wearing a long, white t-shirt that almost goes down to her knees. She has an annoyed look on her face.

NICOLE:
What?

Panel 3:
Nicole’s boyfriend, Brian, is sitting on the bed. Only Brian in the panel. Brian has no shirt on. He has his arms behind his head. He looks comfortable. An amusing grin is plastered across his face. Brian is muscled, big, and looks like an everyday, college hunk.

BRIAN:
Could you dress any less sexy?

Panel 4:
Nicole climbs into bed. Both Nicole and Brian are in the panel.

NICOLE:
Fuck you.

BRIAN:
You know some girls actually like to dress up and look sexy for
their boyfriends, especially when they’re leaving.



Page Two (five panels):

Panel 1:
Brian and Nicole are now both sitting up in bed next to each other.

NICOLE:
I’m going away for two weeks. Not even that. Eleven days.

BRIAN:
I can give you a picture to remember me by. You can put it by your bed while you’re fucking some black dude.

Panel 2:
Small panel of Nicole. She looks aggravated.

NICOLE:
Nice. Like you’re not gonna bang every blonde you see. I watch you with those sluts at the bars.

Panel 3:
Small panel of Brian. He’s smiling.

BRIAN:
What can I say? I’m a connoisseur of the female form.

Panel 4:
Small panel of Nicole. She has her arms folded. She’s smiling.

NICOLE:
You’re a connoisseur of syphilis.

Panel 5:
Nicole and Brian in the panel. They’re looking at each other. They’re still in bed.

BRIAN:
You’re such a bitch. I should start hitting you. You’d look good with a black eye.

NICOLE:
So’d we be the cliché? Tough male and his petite, quiet, trapped girlfriend. You’ll keep me in
line. I secretly want to escape but I’m afraid you’ll kill me.



Page Three (five panels):

Panel 1:
Nicole sits on top of Brian and pins his hands down. They’re still on the bed.

BRIAN:
You’re going to secretly poison my meatloaf one night.

NICOLE:
The police will suspect me after the autopsy, but by then I’ll have escaped to South America. I’ll
shack up with some cute cabana boy on the beach. Sell bananas. Drink rum. Watch the sunsets.
They’ll never catch me.

Panel 2:
Nicole is still on top of Brian. Brian’s hands are now free.

BRIAN:
Bananas? That sounds like a hell of a career.
(cont’d)
Are you we just gonna talk all night?

NICOLE:
I have to wake up early, babe.

Panel 3.
Only Brian in the panel. Close-up on his face. He looks frustrated and a little angry.

BRIAN:
Are we ever gonna be serious, Nicole? Like a…like a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? You
know…like normal people?

Panel 4:
Nicole is getting off of Brian.

NICOLE:
Honestly? I think if we did we would fail miserably.

Panel 5:
Nicole is lying on her side next to Brian. They’re both looking at each other.

BRIAN:
You know I like you.


NICOLE:
I know. I’m not oblivious.




Page Four (five panels)

Panel 1:
Only Brian in the panel. Brian is sitting up in bed.

BRIAN:
I didn’t realize how much I liked you until you decided to leave for two weeks. Like…I won’t
see you for two whole weeks. I…it’s gonna be…I’m gonna miss you.

Panel 2:
Only Nicole in the panel. Nicole is lying down with her eyes closed on the bed.

NICOLE:
Your words are like poetry.

Panel 3:
Brian leans in close towards Nicole. Nicole is lying down with her eyes half-open.

BRIAN:
C’mon…I’m not gonna see you for two weeks.

NICOLE:
Eleven days. And I need sleep. Body…tired. Eyes…closing.

Panel 4:
Brian is sitting up on the bed. Nicole reaches up to turn off the light by the bed.

BRIAN:
So no mind-blowing sex?

NICOLE:
Not tonight, babe.
(cont’d)
Good night.

SFX:
CLICK

Panel 5:
The bedroom is now dark. Brian is sitting on the bed holding his knees. Brian is staring.
Brian looks frustrated. Nicole is turned on her side, facing away from him.



Page Five (seven panels)

Panel 1:
Close-up of Nicole opening up her eyes. It’s morning.

SFX:
BEEP BEEP BEEP

Panel 2:
Nicole hits the alarm clock on the side of her bed.

Panel 3:
Nicole in the shower.

Panel 4:
Nicole, dressed, looking in the mirror at herself. She’s in a dress.

Panel 5:
Nicole picks up her bags.

Panel 6:
Only Brian in the panel. He’s sleeping on the bed.

Panel 7:
Nicole holds up a frozen wave.

NICOLE:
Bye.




Page Six (five panels)

Panel 1:
Outside shot of the airport. We see the main entrance. A plane overheard in the sky. Cars
are clogging the street out front. The sun is out. There are a lot of people walking around.

Panel 2:
Shot of the inside of the airport. There’s a long line of people waiting to go through security
inside the terminal.

Panel 3:
Close-up of three girls; Nicole, Stef, and Kim are standing in line. Stef and Kim look like typical
sorority girls. They’re both young, pretty, and dressed nicely. Kim is staring up ahead at how
long the security line is.

STEF:
I love your dress, Nic.

NICOLE:
Thanks. I never get to wear it.

KIM:
I fucking hate security. This is going to take forever.

Panel 4:
The three girls are still standing in the security line.

NICOLE:
You sound like you need a drink.
(cont’d)
Did you guys go out last night?

STEF:
We all went to RJ’s. Where’d you end up?

NICOLE:
Arguing with Brian as usual.

Panel 5:
The girls are walking through security.




Page Seven (five panels)

Panel 1:
The three girls are now standing beyond security in the airport terminal concourse. There are a lot of people. There are shops and restaurants and kiosks all around.

KIM:
We have to meet everyone to take the picture.

NICOLE:
What picture?

KIM:
Some gay sorority picture with everyone. I know. Totally lame. It’s like we’re fucking tourists.

Panel 2:
Nicole and Stef in the panel. They’re walking through the terminal as they speak.

STEF:
I thought you were gonna break up with Brian. I mean…you do realize he’s going to fuck like ten girls while you’re gone.

NICOLE:
Yeah…I don’t know. I don’t even wanna think about him right now. It’s just…it’s just too much
drama.

Panel 3:
A blonde, pudgy, cheerful girl, Lisa, approaches through the crowd.

LISA:
Finally. What took you so long?

Panel 4:
Lisa is in charge and in the front. Behind Lisa is the entire pack of sorority girls. They’re lining up for the picture.

LISA:
Come on! Come on!

Panel 5:
Close-up of where Nicole is standing in the back of the group.

NICOLE:
This is so embarrassing.



Page Eight/Nine (one panel)

Panel one:
This splash page is the picture taken of the sorority sisters. They’re all standing in the airport terminal. Most of them are smiling. There are thirty-four girls in three rows. The front row is on their knees. The back row is the taller girls. The middle row is the shorter girls.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #669

DC is getting all the buzz this month, but Marvel is happily chugging along with their respective big events and new series arrivals. This issue is Part 3 of "Spider Island," an event encompassing The Amazing Spider-Man, Herc, Black Panther and Venom, along with a bunch of one-shots and mini-series (29 issues altogether...you think anyone is actually going to read that many books?). The premise is stupid, sure, but I am kind of surprised it's never been done. A virus spreads through Manhattan that gives almost everybody spider powers. The evil behind it all turns out to be some chick named The Queen who I've never heard of. I guess Marvel is sick of The Green Goblin, Dr. Octopus, The Sandman, Vulture, Electro, Mysterio, and any other quality villain. The writing by Dan Slott is swift, humorous, and fairly pedestrian. The art by Humberto Ramos is a little sloppy here but I do enjoy is kinetic, cartoony vibe. The big problem is that while it's fun in a silly sort of way it's certainly not anything special or great. I miss Parker with MJ. I miss Parker working at The Daily Bugle. I miss the old-school villains. This special event and this book have been a little too dry lately. **1/2 (out of ****)

ACTION COMICS #1 + DETECTIVE COMICS #1

This is the second week of the new DC "52" initiative. Fifty-two #1 books will be launched, most with new writers/artists and all of them set in a new, different universe (kind of like "This Savage World" from Savage Dragon or the Ultimate universe in Marvel). Justice League is the big dog, but Action Comics is certainly second fiddle. This brings back Grant Morrison to Superman and raises the price to a dollar. They haven't put a premiere artist on Action Comics, but it has turned out to be an entertaining issue, albeit it feels too much like Superman: Earth One. The premise is that the cops are against Superman. Superman is new to Hobs Bay (yeah, not sure where the fuck Metropolis is). He's a reporter but he fights crime more than saves the planet. Everything is new: Luthor hasn't met him yet, he's not fucking Lois Lane yet, etc. In this issue he stops a loose train among other things. I do believe the "fresh" aspect of this universe has most old-school fans groaning, but honestly, it works. It works a little better in Tony S. Daniel's Detective Comics #1. We get to see the first meeting between Batman and The Joker. It doesn't feel stale, it feels suspenseful and chilling. Daniel is also a much better artist than Rags Morales who is drawing Action Comics. Detective Comics #1 is also super gruesome and sadistic. Daniel is fucking crazy. It's a good start for this new initiative DC is rolling out. ACTION COMICS #1 *** DETECTIVE COMICS #1 ***1/2

JUSTICE LEAGUE #1

It's a bold idea, I'll admit that. DC Comics is re-numbering every book #1 this month and most of them are getting new writers and artists. There are some new books, too, like this one, the flagship title, written by Geoff Johns and pencilled by Jim Lee. I'm actually very surprised such a bonkers idea got green lit. I bet Marvel is laughing their ass of, assuming this is a last ditch effort by a struggling, second tier company. All comics are struggling, though, and I bet DC gets a big boost this month in sales. The problem is that it won't last. The other problem is this: next September will Justice League #13 be out with Jim Lee and Geoff Johns still on board? Highly unlikely. DC isn't just re-numbering and shuffling writers and artists. They've also changed the entire universe. Superman and Batman haven't met until the final page of this issue. And superheroes in general are on the run, on the fringes. It's a new day, baby. That will make this book interesting, as it gives us a lot of story to sort through and uncover. But all of DC history is gone. That's a little ridiculous and will definitely be a problem for some books. This book in particular is a solid effort but nothing extraordinary. The art is colorful and vibrant and the banter between the Green Lantern and Batman is cute. It doesn't do enough, though, to make me care about the next issue. I've never read a mega-superhero group book that was downright awesome. They're usually all over the map and feature too many characters to let anything cohesive happen. This, really, just feels like another issue of Flashpoint. **

RACHEL RISING #1

You can't read everything, right? Just like you shouldn't make a big deal if your friends never seen The Godfather, I don't think it's a big deal that I've never read a Terry Moore comic book. He did the semi-famous Strangers in Paradise book and the sci-fi-esque Echo book. This is his newest creation. Moore does it all; he writes, draws, inks, letters. It's a one-man show. There's a price for that, though, as the book is only 18 pages and can be read in a few minutes. The premise is a good one: a girl wakes up buried alive and has to dig herself out and figure out how she got there. The big, shocking conclusion gives us another question in this mystery: is this even the same girl? If not, why does she look like Rachel and have her memories? Yeah, if she's dead than this book sucks, but I'm guessing even Moore has a better imagination. The black and white art is very nice; nature is detailed, the characters crisp. It's a good start and intriguing. **1/2

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN: CENTURY 1969

A new Alan Moore book is a big deal these days. He quit writing for mainstream American comics a few years back and hasn't done much lately (his mini-series, Neonomicon, finished earlier this year and was interesting). This book is part two of three in the LOEG: Century mini-series. The first book took place in 1910 and dealt with an occultist, Oliver Haddo, as well with a pirate's daughter inheriting a brutal legacy. This issue picks up the Haddo story. Haddo changes bodies through the years and is on the verge of finding a moon child that will apparently cause catastrophic changes in the world. We get to see the gang; Alan Quartermain, Mina, and Orlando in London's swingin' 60's as they attempt to thwart Haddo's grand plans at a psychedelic concert in Hyde Park. The big problem Century has is the same problem The Black Dossier had: the more interesting characters, The Invisible Man and Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, are dead and thus not in the book anymore. There's also less action than the first two mini-series, although the occult story is right up Moore's alley. As usual with the LOEG books this is an interesting, bizarre, pornographic and engrossing read. Artist Kevin O'Neill is sloppy and often off-kilter, but his style works in this strange world. Alan Moore is obvious famous for a lot of dark, serious books like V For Vendetta and Watchmen, but I've always felt that the LOEG was his funnest and most entertaining work. The second LOEG mini-series, where the gang battled martians, is the best thing Moore ever wrote. Getting a new LOEG book is like welcoming an old friend to dinner. I felt right at home reading it and getting wrapped up in it. The coda of the book, while certainly bleak, is the exact way the second LOEG mini-series ended. It was such a great ending then, why not do it again? ***

DAREDEVIL #1

Daredevil has been dark for a very long time. Is that apropos since the main character is blind? I suppose. Bendis, Brubaker, and Diggle's runs on the book were dark, mostly crime based. Diggle brought in demons and magic, but it was still gritty and violent. Writer Mark Waid is the new writer on the book and his stamp is to make it light, airy, and fun. So far it doesn't work...at all. It is a good idea to change a book. You can't have Daredevil brooding and covered in blood for decades, can you? One problem is that Matt Murdoch is a prosecutor and thus he'll always be involved in gangsters, crime, and violence. Can you really make him happy-go-lucky? Isn't that what Spider-Man is for? The art, by Paolo Rivera, is crisp and pretty and neat. It fits the new template, but it's also barren of feeling, emotion, or oomph. The plot has Daredevil fighting The Spot, a truly lame villain, and then eventually running into Captain America. Along the way he finds a new way to live life; he smiles, appreciates things more, and jokes around. It might be positive but it's certainly not fun. I already miss the darkness. *

THE RED WING #1

Writer Jonathan Hickman killed off The Human Torch in Fantastic Four. He also started a long-delayed S.H.I.E.L.D. series that was beautiful to look at but mostly terrible to read. With The Red Wing, Hickman gets back to a creator-owned series for Image. He's brought artist Nick Pitarra with him. The big problem is that so far this is mediocre. It has to do with guys that fly Star Wars-type fighter spaceships that can travel through time. Why? Well...who knows? Who cares? Since this is merely a 4-part mini-series, will we actually get any definitive answers? Hickman comes across as being a "smart" writer. He attempts to write about space and time as if his comic books carry weight and substance. For some reason, few things connect to form a full, engrossing narrative in almost anything he's done so far. The big reason Hickman may be "one to watch" as they say is that he's had great luck in having phenomenal artists draw his books. Steve Epting has done a terrific job on FF and Dustin Weaver did some glorious spreads for S.H.I.E.L.D. Pitarra draws characters in a loose, organic way, far from the boxy, muscled heroes of 90's lore. The Red Wing certainly looks good, but so far it hasn't gotten completely off the ground. **1/2 (out of ****)

FEAR ITSELF #4 + FLASHPOINT #3

I'm looking forward to Amazing Spider-Man's big "Spider Island" event this month because in the summer I like to read guilty-pleasure books. I don't want super-serious, I want dumb fun. It fits the mood, the lightness of summer, of peaceful tranquility, mindless beach days, and not wanting to think too hard when the temperature hits 96 degrees. This is the reason I enjoyed last summer's Daredevil epic, "Shadowland," which everyone loathed. Right now there are two big event books going on; "Fear Itself" for Marvel and "Flashpoint" for DC. Fear Itself is very serious (hell, Bucky Barnes died in #3). Flashpoint is a little more fun, although still a tad dark. Both books are entertaining and nothing special. Fear Itself #4 is a gorgeous book, though, thanks to pencils by Stuart Immonen, inks by Wade Von Grawbadger (is that a real name?), and colors by Laura Martin. The book is just a feast for the eyes. The story is semi-interesting, albeit the usual heroes-band-together-to-fight-a-big-evil that defines most comic book events. Flashpoint is a little different. It's basically the plot of Back to the Future II, if you remember that. In Flashpoint #3, Batman and Cyborg free Superman from an underground, government vault. The catch, in this parallel universe, is that Superman was captured when he landed on Earth and has been held captive ever since. Now he's free. Cue #4. The art by Andy Kubert in Flashpoint is great, though the writing by Geoff Johns isn't anything particular fresh or super-exciting. These two event books are entertaining but fall short of being shockingly great. Kind of like my summer. Fear Itself #4 *** Flashpoint #3 **1/2

SCALPED #50

Maybe Erik Larsen has me spoiled. If you read Savage Dragon then you know that when a big-number issue hits (i.e. #100, #150), you're in for a very large, very special, very shocking issue. It's a big-number issue, a milestone, why not make it a special book to celebrate all the years, the hard work? Lately, though, the big issues have been retrospective issues and all-together lame, often chucking the good, main artist for a bunch of fill-in artists. I'm thinking of Ultimate Spider-Man #150 and Superman #700, which were downright awful, but Scalped #50 plays into that as well. Scalped is a great book. The art by R.M. Guera helps. His stuff is dark, edgy, detailed, and off-kilter. It fits the bleak mood to a T. The dialogue, pacing, and plot by Jason Aaron are almost always top-notch. The main character might be the biggest anti-hero (and total asshole) you've ever met, but that doesn't mean you aren't rooting for him to save the day (and stay alive). The problem I've had with this book is that it's been treading water for way too long. The premise is that Dash is an undercover F.B.I. agent that has infiltrated the nefarious, criminal world of his Indian reservation that's led and ruled by Red Crow. Eventually Red Crow will find out that Dash is undercover and the shit will hit the fan. The problem is getting to that crucial juncture. There have been a ton of fill-in issues about other characters and issues not drawn by Guera that just haven't worked. #50 is no exception. It basically follows the "history" of scalping and leads into a bunch of splash pages by guest artists. For a big issue, this is a complete letdown. It's the big 5-0...do something that actually pushes the plot forward. Do something surprising, shocking. How many Vertigo titles even make it this far? Will this book just keep stalling for another fifty issues? Seriously, dude, wrap this fucker up. * (out of ****).

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #160

Not that it's a spoiler, as this is the final part of the "Death of Spider-Man" arc, but Peter Parker dies in this issue. I wasn't the biggest fan of this book until the re-boot a few years ago when it re-started at #1 and had David LaFuente drawing it. For some reason it really clicked; it was pretty to look at and a lot of fun to read. This arc ditched LaFuente for Mark Bagley and for one reason or another never worked. The Sinister Six returned, Norman Osbourne turned into a giant devil-goblin thing, Parker was unmasked, and an exploding truck caused Parker to fly through the air, land with a thud, and die. Yep, a fucking exploding truck caused the death of Spider-Man. How lame is that? Bagley's art these last few issues didn't help either. His stuff is just too sloppy, too rushed. Bendis' scripts, too, have been flat. This arc hasn't been compelling or fresh and it certainly wasn't fun. While the best thing Marvel could do is get rid of the "Ultimates" line, they say that a new Spider-Man will show up and a new book will start. Bendis probably has done everything possible with Spider-Man, right? Either put him on on the flagship, "real" title or let him walk away into the sunset. This alternate universe where death is meaningless is a totally pointless excursion now. **

GODZILLA: GANGSTERS & GOLIATHS #1

I know, I know: why the fuck am I reading a Godzilla book? IDW, the publisher, probably thought the same thing so they got a great artist and a great writer to give the public at least a reason to want to read this thing. The writer of Chew, John Layman, is aboard, as is the artist of Unknown Soldier, Alberto Ponticelli. They even got the old-school master Geoff Darrow to draw the cover. The plot is semi-interesting. Some gangsters are on a boat off the coast of Monster Island. They shoot a dude and throw him into the sea but he isn't dead and he goes into the island where they chase him. This dude ends up finding those two little girls that control Mothra, the big moth monster thing, and takes them back to mainland Japan. Oh...and Godzilla is in it, briefly. Honestly, all we want is Godzilla destroying a city ("Man in suit!" sadly can't be yelled while reading this). I suppose that will happen in #2. As for this issue and series so far? It's probably about as good as a Godzilla comic will ever get, which means it's entertaining, silly, stupid, and a little fun. The art is terrific and the plot at least shows that they're trying. **1/2

AMERICAN VAMPIRE: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST #1

The regular American Vampire title has gotten rave reviews. I never liked it, though. It just didn't work. Perhaps even the writer, Scott Snyder, realized this, because he's out with a much better five-part spin-off. The premise here is that a young, tough woman belongs to an anti-vampire league and she's one of the best agents. She's sent to Europe to infiltrate a castle and find a missing comrade along with a mysterious serum that may stop the vampire gene from turning someone into a bat-shit killer. This issue is all set-up, but it really gets you pumped for #2. Who doesn't want to see this hardcore chick head to a castle in creepy Europe where mysteries and vampires lie? The art, by Joe the Barbarian artist Sean Murphy, is equally effective. It's sketchy and fits the WW2 era with its old-school, nostalgic look. Sure, it's nothing new; the cover promises Nazi vampires on the agenda, but it's a great read. ***1/2

CRIMINAL: LAST OF THE INNOCENT #1

Writer Ed Brubaker hasn't written anything great lately for Marvel. His one-shot prelude to "Fear Itself" was fairly inane, and his run on Captain America has gotten pretty dull lately. Perhaps he shouldn't even waste his time writing superheroes. His latest issue of Criminal, for Marvel's indie imprint Icon, is a masterpiece. It might just be the best book I've read all year (Morning Glories #8 was also one of the year's best so far). This issue starts off like the film Garden State; a schlub goes back to his hometown to see his sick father. He meets his old high school friends and gets all wrapped up in nostalgia (the flahbacks are drawn in an Archie comics type style...which is terrific). The catch comes in the last panel, a knock-your-socks of classic noir cliffhanger. The big reason this issue works, though, is that Brubaker's dad did recently die and that adds a layer of sadness and realism to the proceedings. He's writing from the heart and it shows; the book is swift, entertaining, but also emotional and true. The art by Sean Phillips is great; his range is really shown here as he gets to play in the sandbox a bit. Just an all around classic issue of a great book. **** (out of ****)

RUSE #3

Do I not have good ideas? Or are my ideas just so damn good that others also have them and they become published & filmed? I wrote a book, Small Town, about a twenty year-old writer in the suburbs that inadvertently becomes a private investigator, albeit not licensed or trained or anything. HBO has a show now with the same premise, Bored to Death, based on a short story by Jonathan Ames. I had an idea for a comic book titled Alpha Delta Death that was basically Lord of the Flies but with Sorority girls. A new book just came out called Beauty Queens that has the same premise, albeit it's a plane of beauty pageant girls that crash on an island. & I'm currently writing Detectives in London, a novel that features a female investigator working alongside a male investigator in old-times London. Ruse, Mark Waid's comic, has a similar premise; what if a female was paired with a Sherlock Holmes type dude? Ruse has been out for awhile; they did thirty-odd issues when it was published at Cross-Gen. That company went out of business but Marvel just bought the rights to all their books and are putting out a few new mini-series of the same books. Mark Waid is still writing this but artist Butch Guice is sadly only doing the covers. They've also nixed the gargoyles walking amongst the people but otherwise it's the same. The problem is that it's an utter rip-off of Sherlock Holmes. The art in this particular issue is fairly awful, done by Rob Steen, who didn't even bother to pencil #1 or #2 (a fill-in artist on a four part series makes little sense). It tries to be whip-smart and fun, but it's merely adequate. Even the big mystery is fairly murky stuff. I don't know...maybe I'm just jealous that this got published before me. *1/2

PUNISHER MAX #13

When superstar writer Jason Aaron was announced as the new writer on the "mature content" Punisher Max title, I got excited. Thirteen issues in, though, and I'm underwhelmed. We got a Kingpin storyline, a Bullseye storyline, and now a Prison/Vietnam storyline. From that you can already tell that Aaron isn't breaking new ground. In this issue, part two of "Frank," The Punisher is in jail and remembering his past when he got back from Vietnam and had to seamlessly fit back into regular life. He got a job at a slaughterhouse and didn't mind when the prick inspector got his hand caught in a grinder. In prison, a tough dude called The Big Jesus seems to be attempting a plot to kill Frank. The issue feels like an action-less issue of Jason Aaron's Scalped; it's meditative, trying to be dark but emotional. Scalped is fresh, though. We've seen all of this before in The Punisher. Even the forced, over-the-top violence doesn't mesh with the emotional core of what Aaron is trying to work in. The art, by Preacher's Steve Dillon, is quality stuff, but all of his characters do look alike, and for some reason The Punisher doesn't look right; too weird looking, too off-key. If you do want to read a fresh, fun, extremely wild book by Aaron, pick up Astonishing Spider-Man and Wolverine. It's so fucking good...what I had hoped this would have been. *1/2

FLASHPOINT #1

Remember Back to the Future 2? Yeah, it kind of sucked...but remember when the old man Biff steals the sports book, takes it back in time, and then Marty and Doc end up traveling back to a new world where things are the same but slightly different (like, a black family is now living in Marty's home and Biff is super rich)? That's the story with Flashpoint, DC's big event series. The Flash wakes up in a world that's slightly different. Superman doesn't exist and Batman is kind of evil. While this parallel-world plot has been done before, it's nice that a big event book is finally not just about a group of superheroes banding together to face one big evil threat. That's refreshing. The art is also terrific (Andy Kubert) but the issue isn't anything special. It doesn't do enough to make me care to read #2 or the endless amount of spin-offs (in June there are 21 spin-off issues...yikes). The other problem is that there's 8 pages where a bunch of heroes argue. Boring. & I thought DC was "drawing the line at $2.99?" Why is this book $3.99? So far this is about as good as Marvel's big event series, Fear Itself. Is it just me, or do event books totally suck? **

MOON KNIGHT #1

Marvel is re-launching three series this summer with new, popular creative teams. Daredevil and The Punisher start later on but the first out of the box is Moon Knight, which is being written by Brian Bendis and drawn by Alex Maleev. Obviously, Maleev and Bendis' last two books sucked hard (Spider-Woman and Scarlet), so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this. I really don't know anything about Moon Knight. The last time the book was even on my radar was when Stephen Platt was drawing it (remember him?). That was...when? 1994? I miss Platt. The last thing I heard was that he was drawing story boards for Hollywood. Why do all the great artists seem to leave? Anyway, Moon Knight #1 is 32 pages for $3.99. That's the best part. The story has Moon Knight in L.A. getting help from Wolverine, Captain America, and Spider-Man to take down the new top gangster there. The story and dialogue are basic stuff. Bendis is either writing too many books and getting burned out or he's just already used every good idea he's had (and he has written what, like a thousand issues already of various books?). Maleev is a good artist when he's drawing people. He's not good at drawing superheroes. That, or 32 pages made him do a rush job. This issue is standard when we all hoped for a masterpiece. **

THE MIGHTY THOR #1

I'm a writer and I tend to think that I could make any superhero comic book better if I wrote it. It's not being narcissistic, it's just that I write what I like, and if I wrote Spider-Man or Batman it would be an issue with characters, a story, a tone, and dialogue that I would enjoy. The one book that I doubt even I could make compelling is Thor. Maybe it's the way he speaks, maybe it's the fact that he only has one villain, but I'm surprised he's lasted this long (and has a big-budget Hollywood film coming out Friday). Thor is dull. I did enjoy writer J. Michael Straczynski's short run on the book a few years back, but even his run was helped by awesome artist Olivier Coipel, who returns here for writer Matt Fraction's new #1 issue. This issue isn't awful but it isn't very fun, readable, or enjoyable. Fraction has fun writing Iron Man, but with Thor he hasn't come up with any good ideas. This issue features Thor finding the World Tree, Loki morphing into a child for no good reason, and the Silver Surfer (still comic book's worst idea) looking for Galactus. Even Coipel's art is a little less brilliant and perfect as it usually is. Straczynski made Loki a hot chick and now Fraction makes Loki a child. Yawn. Realistically, I couldn't even make Thor interesting. *

SUPER DINOSAUR #1

Robert Kirkman's books have all been pretty pedestrian. If Invincible and The Walking Dead hadn't lasted so long, would he still be such a famous writer? Maybe I enjoy his work because they're pedestrian. His books aren't obtuse like Grant Morrison or some of Alan Moore's stuff. Kirkman feels to me like a regular comic book fan writing a comic book. Sure, it's simplistic and by-the-numbers, but it's entertaining, often thrilling, and he has a knack for good cliffhangers. This is his newest book, a book aimed at kids, about a boy superhero, his scientist father, and his sidekick dinosaur. The plot has this trio fighting a rogue faction of dinosaurs and an evil scientist. It's fun, action packed, and nothing new at all (it actually resembles Invincible a little too much; a superhero kid with father issues that works alongside the U.S. government). The art is by Jason Howard, the dude that did a fantastic job drawing The Astounding Wolf-Man. It's good, clean fun. **1/2

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: THE GRIM HUNT

Borders is bankrupt. I bet one reason is that the rent on their stores is probably astronomical because they're fucking huge. People haven't read books in great numbers for a hundred years so it's not a surprise that a book store is broke and closing a bunch of stores. The cleaned-out graphic novel section was half-off at one of the closing stores and I hadn't read "The Grim Hunt" when it came out last year so I bought it. Spider-Man is a great character with great villains but lately his books haven't been that great (even Ultimate Spider-Man has grown awful with the return of artist Mark Bagley and the "Death of Spider-Man" storyline). "The Grim Hunt," which brought back Kraven the Hunter, was a terrible decision. Kraven was a hunter who got bored and started hunting man and eventually Spider-Man. Kraven eventually thought he killed Spider-Man and then shot himself in the head. Great ending...why is he back? I suppose if he came back in a thrilling, jaw-droppingly cool story I might be okay with it...but "The Grim Hunt" is a disaster. Kraven's wife and daughter concoct some plan that brings Kraven back to life. The Kravinoff family attempts to kill off all of the super-hero "spiders" that include Peter Parker's clone, Madame Webb, Arachne, Arana, and Mattie Franklin (all characters I've never heard of). The rest of the four-part story makes no sense at all. Spider-Man is killed but it turns out to not be Spider-Man. Animals start running loose in the streets of New York City. Spider-Man dons his black costume for no real good reason and then the Kravinoff family just disappears after a short fight. The art by Michael Lark is dark and effective and the covers are great but the actual plot is incomprehensible, dull, and pointless. The co-story that was a back-up in the original issues is even worse. Reading this makes me sad for comics. *

DETECTIVE COMICS #875

Commissioner Gordon's son might or might not be a serial killer but we do realize that his son is creepy, weird, and fucked up in the head. This issue focuses on a serial killer case fifteen years ago known as the Peter Pan killings. One of the dead children may have been killed by Gordon's son. His son returned to Gotham and these old mysteries well up to the service. This is a good issue because it has some weight to it; this isn't a typical Batman fighting dudes in costumes robbing banks issue. It does seem that Commissioner Gordon has been royally screwed over the years, hasn't he? Didn't The Joker kill one of his wives? And we all remember Alan Moore's The Killing Joke which featured Gordon getting the ultimate mind fuck. Writer Scott Snyder, who also writes American Vampire, has so far had an interesting run on this book. He's tried new things and went to some dark places. The art in this particular issue is beautiful stuff; Francesco Francavilla has a knack for using colors to heighten or define an emotion. The modern day blues and the historic orange meld nicely to make a searing tragedy of despair and heartbreak come alive. It's tear-in-my-beer stuff, but it's impressive. ***

AMERICAN VAMPIRE #13

If you like South Pacific and vampires, this is the issue for you. I did start reading this book when it first came out because Stephen King was co-writing it and I wanted to see what he was up to. King is long gone and this issue brings a new arc that deals with WW2. I didn't enjoy this book when it started and this issue isn't any better. I guess the big problem is that vampires have been done to death and writer Scott Snyder isn't doing anything new except setting his stories in the 1920's and now the 40's. This storyline has Pearl as a vampire nurse saying goodbye to her vampire boyfriend who joins the military where he meets Skinner Sweet, another vampire. The catch is that a small island near Japan is infested with vampires and the U.S. forces are sent to eradicate them. What's next? Nazi vampires? The art by Rafael Albuquerque is rough and sketchy. It's more or less basic, as is the writing. I don't know...this book just feels as lifeless as a...well, a vampire. *1/2

GREEN LANTERN #64

This is part one in the "War of the Green Lanterns" arc. I'll admit it: I don't like Green Lantern very much, although I do love most of what Geoff Johns writes (his stint on Adventure Comics and Action Comics were both great). The reason I'm not a fan of this character is that it's beyond silly. I can't even say that it appeals to kids because it's complex and confusing. In this issue, Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern, is hanging out with all of his villains. They end up facing Lyssa Drak, who rules The Book of the Black, which is a giant, evil book that attempts to suck them in. Yes, it's super stupid. Meanwhile, the blue dwarfs that run Oa end up getting possessed by various evil entities. In "Blackest Night" these blue dudes were also the first to be corrupted...so should they really still be the ones in charge? Parallax, an evil creature thing, takes over the Central Battery and then some of the good guys try to arrest Hal Jordan. It still surprises me that this is going to be a movie. How can they possibly make this comprehensible? The art by Doug Mahnke is detailed and not-bad and the colors are vibrant...but the underlying story is just plain laughable. I'm really not sure if this type of a world can ever be thrilling or engrossing. Green Lantern is just a book I guess I'll never understand. *1/2

FEAR ITSELF PROLOGUE: BOOK OF THE SKULL

Remember last year when Brian Bendis was promoting the big Marvel event "Siege" and he said that this was going to be the last big Marvel event for awhile? Well a year later and we're already into "Fear Itself," Marvel's new event. I'll be honest: I think Marvel has better books than D.C. but for some reason I've never bothered to read Marvel's event mini-series. "Civil War," "Siege," and "Secret Invasion" just did not interest me at all. Ed Brubaker wrote this prologue and he used to be a great writer (his run on Captain America has gotten boring, his Secret Avengers stint sucked, and his new Incognito series isn't half as good as the first series) so I thought I'd see what this was all about. After reading this set-up issue I'm guessing that "Fear Itself" will deal with Sin, the Red Skull's daughter, taking over the world. In this issue, Sin and Baron Zemo go to a hidden bunker to find a Thor-esque hammer. What this hammer does has yet to be revealed, but to get it they have to read some incantation from a book made out of Antlantean flesh. The book jumps back in time to when Captain America and Bucky battled the Red Skull while he was setting up his hidden bunker. We also get to see Captain America and Bucky vs. a Yetti creature. Yes, it's as stupid as it sounds. The art by Scott Eaton is very sloppy and the writing is swift but same-old. Whether or not this event turns out to be awesome is up in the air, but they do have Stuart Immonen drawing it and Matt Fraction writing it so at least the potential for greatness is there. As for this prologue? It's silly but it's at least entertaining. Maybe I'll actually read a Marvel event series for once. **

VENOM #1

This is a solid first issue, but I really dislike the premise behind it. One of my favorite storylines in comic books is the birth of Venom, the alien symbiote that came back to Earth with Spider-man after he was battling out in the cosmos during Secret Wars. The alien symbiote eventually attached itself to Eddie Brock and a great villain was born (and Todd McFarlane and Erik Larsen's awesome art certainly helped). Decades later and the U.S. Government has the alien symbiote and they're attaching it to special soldiers to help during big missions. This series follows Flash Thompson as Venom as he fights bad guys while struggling with the weight of it all. The art by Tony Moore is incredibly detailed and vibrant and it's certainly the best thing about this book. Writer Rick Remender has one cool idea: a Pumpkinhead villain that cooks the brains of his enemies. The premise, though, is a flawed one. Venom was a great villain. He seemed like he was a lot of fun to draw and it showed. Now he's neutered and thus boring. Yes, it's been two decades of Venom as a bad guy. Marvel does have to evolve to prevent stagnation, but Venom as a good guy does not work at all. I'm guessing this will all lead to a return of the villanious Venom...but this sidetrack is dead on arrival. **

SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE

Last year, with great fanfare, writer J. Michael Straczynski came to DC Comics and took over Superman and Wonder Woman. After a few issues of lackluster interest he was taken off the books, his future plots given to other writers to finish. The reason that DC gave for the shocking news was that his new hardcover graphic novel, Superman: Earth One, was such a blockbuster in the sales department that Straczynski would immediately go to work writing another hardcover graphic novel and not mess around with petty monthly books. I read the first few issues in his short Superman and Wonder Woman runs and they were pretty awful. Superman: Earth One, though, is a terrific read. It tells the origin of Clark Kent in an alternate Earth, although it's not really that different at all. Clark grows up in Smallville, heads to Metropolis, writes for the newspaper, meets Lois Lane, faces an alien menace, and eventually reveals that he's Superman to the world. The origin story of how his planet Krypton is destroyed is changed a little bit, but it's mostly just a typical Superman origin story minus Lex Luthor. The art by Shane Davis is awesome stuff, albeit he's better working on small panels. His splash pages are terrible for some reason. Davis reminds me of Rob Liefeld, which a lot of people hate, but I've always loved his bombastic style. This is super entertaining stuff, and it's too bad they didn't just run this as a four part monthly in Superman. We would have been spared that forgettable "Grounded" storyline where Superman walks nonchalantly across America. Ugh. ***

X'ED OUT

Charles Burns is famous. If he wasn't, I doubt that this book would have ever seen the light of day. X'ed Out is writer/artist Burns' newest graphic novel, albeit only part one of a supposed longer tale. You might know Burns from his awesome 2005 graphic novel, Black Hole, but you've definitely seen his art somewhere. His images are iconic and look like nothing else out there. This newest book makes no sense though, and feels more like a jumbled mess of random ideas than a cohesive narrative. The main character is a typical Burns outsider/artist that lives with his mom, falls in love with a girl that takes photographs of herself in bondage, and enjoys blueberry Pop Tarts. He has a bandage on his head and at night he dreams that he enters a strange world with lizard people in suits and pig-faced dudes without shirts that eat omelets. In this odd, dream world the creatures take a new queen and send her to The Hive. Did the main character have an accident? Brain surgery? Is this dream world real or just his imagination? What's up with his cigarette-smoking father? How does his new girlfriend fit into all of this? What happened to her? The book is gorgeous but short. I read it in about twenty minutes. It ends abruptly and there are too many questions left unanswered. If this is simply part one then why only release this aspect of it and not wait until it's completed? It's weird, yes, but almost weird just to be weird. It's dark and depressing, almost suffocatingly so. This is too bad, as Burns is a great artist. If he wasn't famous this would probably be stuffed in an attic box somewhere collecting dust. *1/2

JENNIFER BLOOD #1

Garth Ennis' new series is about a soccer mom that also happens to be The Punisher. It's a simple premise. Ennis has said that he wanted to write something fun. What we have in this first issue isn't exactly “fun” unless you think blood and guts and driving kids to school is a good read. The suburban malaise theme has been done to death (think American Beauty and Revolutionary Road), but the reasons for Jennifer's midnight murder spree on local criminals hasn't been given enough of a back story to define the series' theme just yet. So far it's a chick with kids and a nice husband that doesn't satisfy her. She likes guns. She goes out at night and wrecks havoc. It's nothing new of course, but it could be a worthwhile read if it was entertaining or had some bite to it. The diary entries throughout the book feel tiresome (and really, Garth, you're married...you don't know that it's called a pedicure and not a manicure?). The uber-violence isn't shocking, it's just boring. The art is a little sloppy, although Adriano Batista is probably as good as it's going to get since this isn't a D.C. or Marvel book. The big problem that I have is that Garth Ennis did such a remarkable job writing Preacher that it's almost sad that he's never written anything even close to as fresh, funny, or wildly entertaining as that book. Is he really a one-trick pony? I really hope not, but this new series is a big disappointment. *1/2

BATMAN & ROBIN #20

I don't read Green Lantern Corps, but the writer/artist team that had been on that book has moved to this one. It's apparently sort of a big deal. I did read the “Sinestro Corps War” trade a year or two ago and writer Peter J. Tomasi and artist Patrick Gleason probably did work on a few issues of that but they certainly weren't memorable. It should be noted that I loathe Green Lantern and his oh-so silly universe. There's that. The cornucopia of Batman books have a lot of new talent these days. Jock and Scott Snyder are doing interesting work in Detective Comics but it's super dark. This book seems to be a bit lighter, kicking things off with family movie night at Wayne Manor. The story has an angel falling to his death at a red-carpet affair and Batman and Robin fighting a large bat creature amongst the skyscrapers of Gotham. At twenty pages, it's all set-up of course, but it's nonetheless uninteresting. The art is fresh and vibrant but there is a large spread towards the end that is incomprehensible. For a new superstar team I was hoping for a roller coaster ride and a half. This is just pedestrian stuff, really. It's fucking Batman. Liven it up. ** (out of ****)

IRON MAN #500.1

Remember when all of a sudden #0 issues were chic? Let's hope that the decimal numbered issue isn't next to gain popularity because it's obviously just a cheap ploy to get you hooked on a new book. Normally I'd say that it's a good thing to have an issue for new readers to catch them up to speed. The biggest reason I don't start reading a book I've never read before is because I'm totally lost (case in point: if you've never read Green Lantern, go read an issue and try to figure out what the hell is going on). The problem with this book is that #500.1 doesn't explain anything to new readers. It vaguely hints at the history of Tony Stark but doesn't even tell us what's been going on in detail for the past few issues. With that said, this is a great standalone read, perhaps writer Matt Fraction's best issue yet (I usually can't stand his writing). It has Tony Stark speaking at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. It's whip-smart and cute and fun and has a neat little ending. The art by Salvador Larocca is exceptional as well. The whole point behind the .1 issues that Marvel is putting out is totally lost with this particular issue, but at least there's a good book that's come out of it. I guess that's a good thing. ***1/2