JUSTICE LEAGE: ENDLESS WINTER #2 (PART 9)

 

 

     If you're wondering what happens in this issue, the big finale to the ultra-lame "Endless Winter" story, then The Flash can fill you in. Aquaman shows up late and so The Flash tells him, "Batman, Wonder Woman, and Hippolyta discovered the real Frost King in a cavern...Superman and Black Adam are having a slight disagreement...and we summoned the spirit of the viking prince to inhabit a giant Swamp Thing body...who is currently fighting a huge Frost King avatar that's absorbed Kryptonian energy crystals." This is ridiculous and ludicrous, yet this is comics in its purest form. This kind of reminded me of how the new Wonder Woman movie got a few negative reviews and I thought: you know what? The people that don't like this movie don't like comic books...because Wonder Woman 1984 is kind of the apotheosis of comic books. It's fucking ridiculous! Silly, over-the-top, and with a child's sense of story and adventure. It's not serious Nolan Batman...which the critics adored. Most comic books are not Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns or Alan Moore's Watchmen. Most are like "Endless Winter," at least if you consider the whole history of comics since the 1930's. Granted, the dark, serious stuff tends to get the accolades these days, but comic books were born for kids. Maybe "Endless Winter" is just old school, and that's why it feels so irrelevant. This issue is the best of the series, though mostly because it's pretty much just an issue long fight scene. The Justice League does not kill the Frost King...he just ends up turning back into his human self. Stagg gets arrested. And we see that Black Adam was imprisoned back in the 10th century. Alls well that ends well! This issue does kind of put a period on DC comics for now. Starting next week, DC is only publishing Future State books for January, February, and March. And when the regular books return, there will be some new books and some new creative teams. The only Future State book I'm interested in reading is John Ridley's Batman. That book was actually supposed to the regular Batman book for the forseeable future but DC fired Dan Diddio and got rid of his 5G idea which was supposed to be forever but is now just 3 months long. So this ends the saga of the Frost King. I kind of wish they had killed him off...because I never want to see him again. *1/2

BLACK ADAM SPECIAL #1 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 8)

     The evil scientist dude, Stagg, has unearthed the Frost King's wife and kid. They were frozen in a block of ice below the Fortress of Solitude. So of course the Frost King shows up, as does Black Adam, since, well, this book has his name on it. There are also a bunch of other superheroes that show up at Stagg's lab for some reason. These are heroes you've never heard of and probably never will again. Multiplex? Dude's named after a movie theater. Catman? That has to be a bad joke. Is Catman a real superhero? Like he's actually been in other books? Do I have to look it up? Well, his first appearance was in Detective Comics #311 back in 1963 and he was a Batman villain. I'm guessing Catwoman came first. So who was the lazy idiot that created Catman? Really scraping the bottom of the barrel on brainstorming day that week. At the end of this issue, part 8 in the "Endless Winter" event, the Justice League shows up to fight and possibly defeat the Frost King. That, or to save him and defeat the evil Stagg. I will admit that at least the art in this issue is fairly decent. Brandon Peterson did the pencils and inks for the modern stuff (Marco Santucci is still doing the 10th century flashback stuff every issue). But back to more interesting things: Catman. Apparently, "a modern revival of the character in the pages of Green Arrow many years later depicted a Catman down on his luck, clinging to past glories, overweight, and pathetic." What past glories? I mean...he's in shape in "Endless Winter." Catman "was originally Thomas Reese Blake, a world famous trapper of jungle cats who turned to crime because he had grown bored with hunting and hand squandered most of his millions." Seriously, if you're ever bored, look up some lame comic book characters from the 60's and read their Wikipedia entries. They're hilarious. As for this issue? It's less entertaining than doing that. *1/2

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #29 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 7)

      Not a lot happens in this issue, which is kind of a surprise because I think this event is only 9 parts. The big thing that occurs in this issue is that an old Viking dude from the 10th century is reborn as Swamp Thing today. When he's reborn, a chimp says, "Oh yeah. I think this endless winter is about to get hot." Oh, did I not mention that there's a talking chimp in this issue? The chimp is the bartender at a bar that I think is supposed to be on Wonder Woman's island. Maybe all of this would make sense if I ever read Justice League Dark. Alas, I have not. Who's in the dark Justice League? After reading this issue, I still don't know. I think John Constantine was on the team when the book first started. I believe it started with the first New 52 launch. I actually probably read the first issue, as I think I tried all of the New 52 books when that launched because it was pretty exciting. DC is truly a mess these days, although I did enjoy Tom King's first issue of Batman/Catwoman. And as often as I disparage Tom King, his books are really the only interesting things going on at DC these days. Bendis' last issue of Action Comics was released today, so maybe the Superman books might have a chance of being good in the future. Batman and Detective Comics are both lousy, so that certainly doesn't help. I'm not even that excited about anything going on at Marvel these days, either. Image Comics is the only company that seems to produce books I really love these days. While I was reading "Endless Winter" part 7, which focuses mostly on Swamp Thing, I just kept thinking about Alan Moore's excellent Swamp Thing run. Swamp Thing is just about the dumbest superhero ever created, and yet Moore is such a great writer that somehow he made it excellent. There are definitely some good writers out there that might be able to put out an excellent book with Swamp Thing (Donny Cates? Ed Brubaker? Robert Kirkman?) these days. But, man, the pickings feel pretty slim. 1/2*

TEEN TITANS SPECIAL #1 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 6)

     I've read comics for a little over 30 years and have never read a Teen Titans book. I don't even really know who they are. I'm assuming a superhero group of teenagers. I thought Robin was in the group but he's not, nor maybe never was. I'm wondering if this book was ever popular or ever good. What is the deal with it? Wikipedia says that it started in 1964 and Robin was a member. So was Aqualad, perhaps the dumbest superhero name ever. Jeez, no wonder comic books have always had that "nerd" moniker attached to them. "Who the fuck d'you think you are? Aqualad?" a bully might have said in 1965 before stuffing a comic book lover into a locker. Or not. Wikipedia also mentions that Aqualad dated Aquagirl. Seriously, this Wikipedia entry for Aqualad is much more entertaining than Teen Titans Endless Winter Special #1. It mentions that "while trying to free the ascending Golden Eagle from the clutches of a member of the Wildebeast Society, Aqualad fell from a great height, his body mangled and his bones shattered on the rocks of a sea wall below." Later on, Aqualad became Tempest and "destroyed the Aquagirl zombie that had seduced him and, using his full range of powers, sent his uncle back into the other-dimensional prison void, sealing the portal forever." He sure lived a full life. There's more, but of course there is...there's 54 years of history for the character. Sadly, Aqualad/Tempest is not in "Endless Winter" part 6. The Teen Titans are a bunch of unknowns to me, though one of them is a Jr. Flash character. The only part of this book that kind of moves the plot forward is when Wonder Woman and The Flash show up and go to Wonder Woman's home, the island where all the warrior chicks live. And that's the big climax. This event so far has been pretty awful, and this is by far the worst issue. The writing and art in every issue has been fairly mediocre. I'm not entirely sure who decided it was a good idea to even do this book. Part 7 is next week in Justice League Dark, a book I thought didn't exist anymore. Is John Constantine still in it? That'd be kind of funny, actually. 1/2*

JUSTICE LEAGUE #58 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 5)

     

     Funny how a snowstorm hit today and right now sleet is pounding against my window as I review a book called "Endless Winter." We only got maybe four or five inches but it's been awhile since we had a major nor'easter around here. I probably should be reading a book set in a tropical paradise or something. And the big thing that bothers me about this book is that this endless winter is supposed to have temperatures plunging to fifty below yet there's all these scenes of regular people walking around outside. Wouldn't you die instantly from that? Granted, I can't really complain about logic when there's characters flying around or running super fast. But with crazy stuff like that you'd think this book would be fun, right? I mean...superhero books are supposed to be fun. At least, that was the point before The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen kind of brought forth this noir style of comic book. So no, this event isn't fun. It's kind of depressing. The Frost King was a guy in the 10th century that lost his son. And now, in the current time period, the world is awash in a gloomy, endless, frozen tundra with monsters. There are a few comedic quips here and there, but not enough to make this book light hearted. It does feel kind of old school in that it's fairly simplistic. In this issue, we get more 10th century flashback. Black Adam flies through the air and rams the Frost King. Why is Black Adam still alive now, though? I don't even really know who that character is. What hero's villain is he? Or is he just some random DC bad guy that pops up everywhere? We also get the Justice League battling the Frost King...but no! It's just an avatar! Huh? I've never liked the Justice League book, mostly because it's never been any good, though team books usually never are for whatever reason. It was announced today that Brian Bendis is going to be writing Justice League soon. Ugh. At least he might still have the artist that did this book, Xermanico. Yep, dude has a one word moniker like he's Prince or something. But his art was better than the flashback art. This event is moving at a glacial pace. Get it? "Glacial" because it's about winter? Sigh. 1/2*

AQUAMAN #66 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 4)

  

     When DC Comics did their first New 52 reboot, one of the best books was Aquaman. The story wasn't exactly fresh or new, but the art by Ivan Reiss was spectacular and Geoff Johns knows how to entertain. That run didn't last very long and I haven't read Aquaman since. That book came out all the way back in 2011. DC did another New 52 reboot since then...which is why Aquaman is only at #66. I do know that Aquaman and Mera got married and had a kid recently. Other than that, I haven't heard too much about that book. Besides the Superman and Batman books, the other DC titles are kind of forgotten and lost in the shuffle, at least lately. This particular issue is "Endless Winter" part 4. "Endless" seemingly being a misnomer because the winter will eventually, obviously end. I don't really see how in two years, Aquaman will still be battling ice monsters being the endless winter is, well, endless. In this issue, the ocean is not, in fact, frozen, though there are ice monsters underwater somehow. Aquaman goes to the depths of the Earth to get help from the fire trolls. Yes, this issue as stupid as it sounds. That's pretty much all that happens in this issue, though there is a short prelude back in the 10th century where Black Adam and Swamp Thing and a few others battle the Frost King and Swamp Thing dies. For an event book that's only lasting December, you'd kind of think there'd be more progress and the plot would be faster paced. The Frost King ends the issue asking himself, "Where? Where are they?" I mean...are dudes like Batman, Superman, and The Flash really that hard to find? I wouldn't think so. The art in this issue, by Miguel Mendonca, is decent, though the 10th century art by Marco Santucci is fairly sloppy. The colors in the book are vibrant. Although, when the best thing about a book is the color, that's a pretty big problem. 1/2*

SUPERMAN SPECIAL #1 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 3)

  

    Brian Bendis is leaving Superman and Action Comics this month, so I guess he didn't want to give up his last few issues to a stupid event. That's why "Endless Winter" part 3 takes place in an oddly titled Superman Special #1 book. Bendis isn't writing this, either. Andy Lanning and Ron Marz are writing all of the "Endless Winter" books. I don't even know who those guys are, but a quick search reveals that they both worked on some Marvel crossover book called Annihilation. Never heard of it. They're both in their mid 50's and have seemingly worked on a bunch of titles at every company over the years. I'm not exactly sure why all of a sudden they're writing a random DC event book now. Considering this event book isn't very good probably presents a good reason why I've never heard of them. But...this is actually the best issue so far. We finally learn the origin of the Frost King...not that anyone was actually clamoring to know it. Back in the 10th century, some dude realized he had the power to freeze things. Villagers turned on him and blamed him for harsh winters and so he struck back and became evil. After that we get to see Superman in action. He helps out Lois Lane delivering kids to a hospital then he goes to visit his parents in Smallville. When he enters his parents house he says, "You both seem pretty relaxed considering there were ice monsters right outside." So this is a comedy now? At the end of this book we return to the evil Mr. Stagg, who woke up the Frost King when he was drilling through the ice at the old Fortress of Solitude (Bendis made a new Fortress of Solitude in the Bermuda Triangle for no good reason). Mr. Stagg learns that there are three bodies frozen in the ice where the Fortress of Solitude used to be and that they're still alive. Shocking! Hmmm. Who could they be? Do I care? Part 4 is in Aquaman. Is the ocean frozen, too? That would make the Aquaman book obsolete. Right? *1/2

THE FLASH #767 (ENDLESS WINTER PART 2)

   

     

     They reverted back to the original numbering on some of the DC titles. I'm not sure why they bothered to do that with The Flash but not Batman. They did it on Action Comics and Detective Comics so they could publish #1000, which makes sense. The Flash started out as Flash Comics all the way back on November 20th, 1939. That's fucking nuts...that I'm reading a book that started that long ago and still exists. 81 years should have produced more than 767 issues, though, right? What's 12 x 81? 972. So I guess it wasn't continuously published, though it's bi-weekly these days. I've never been a big fan of the character. Have there ever been any significant, famous runs? The reason there hasn't is probably because some of the more famous writers like Alan Moore and Frank Miller never wrote it back in their heyday. Either way, this is part 2 of the "Endless Winter" event. A Frost King has awoken and plunged the world into an icy, death zone with monsters. In this issue, The Flash ends up at Black Adam's palace to recuperate. Also we get some backstory in the 10th century where a few heroes also battled the Frost King. There's not a lot here, though it's only 20 pages. The art is better than the art in the first part. Clayton Henry did the pencils and inks. His stuff kind of looks like Ryan Ottley's. And I'm only thinking of Ryan Ottley because he worked on a new, surprise book with Robert Kirkman that's coming out next week called Solid Blood #17. The gimmick is that it's the first issue of that book. Ottley has a Marvel only contract, so I'm not sure how he pulled that off since it's an Image book. There weren't any surprises with The Flash #767. I'm guessing the heroes eventually defeat the Frost King at the end and all is well and this event will be totally forgotten. So I guess with it being pointless, it being entertaining would help. So far they've kind of failed on that part. *

JUSTICE LEAGUE- ENDLESS WINTER #1

     DC Comics fired their publisher, Dan Didio, earlier this year. One of the reasons was probably that some people didn't like his new, bold, 5G idea that was supposed to happen this Fall. He was going to replace all of the big superheroes like Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman with new, younger characters. Bruce Wayne would retire or die and Lucius Fox's son, Luke Fox (Batwing), would be the new Batman. I'm not sure who the other new characters were supposed to be, but we will find out because they are still doing 5G, albeit in a shortened, two-month version now known as Future States. While I can see the uproar from some people about replacing classic characters, I can also see why Dan Didio was going to do it. It would be so controversial and so shocking that it'd probably sell a lot of issues and get people talking...which is kind of what the comic book business needs these days since new readers seem to to not exist in the comic book world, at least in the numbers the business needs to thrive. This was always Didio's idea as publisher: to shake things up. He did the new 52 where every issue reverted back to #1. He put Bendis on both Superman books. He published Before Watchmen. Well he's gone, and DC has already announced that they're going to cut the number of books published next year. That means DC's best book, John Constantine: Hellblazer, probably won't be coming back (it ended at #12 last week). As will other, low-on-the-totem-pole books. What we'll probably see is Batman, Superman, The Flash, Justice League, Wonder Woman, and not much else. Which is kind of sad, actually. Before Future States starts, though, we're getting a month long event book titled "Endless Winter." It'll run 8 parts through a bunch of titles and mainly features the Justice League characters. After reading this first issue, I'm kind of at a loss for why this even exists. It feels like a throwback book and something that young kids would read and enjoy. Since most comics these days feel mature and dark and more for old heads like me, this feels kind of jarring. And while I don't mind reading fun romps aimed at younger kids (Lumberjanes is great...if you've never read it), Justice League- Endless Winter #1 is fucking terrible. First off, it's about the least original plot in comics ever. The Frost King, an evil dude made of ice, comes out of the ground where the fortress of solitude used to be (Bendis destroyed it...as he also destroyed any pleasure had while reading a Superman book lately). The Frost King imposes winter across the world. The Justice League has to save the day! Ugh. I suppose I wouldn't have minded this book if the art was decent. The cover by Mikel Janin is great, but the interiors done by Howard Porter are awful. The book looks sloppy. Everyone's face is drawn really distorted; looking at them makes me feel like I'm tripping on acid. The plot and dialogue by Andy Lanning and Ron Marz is terrible. There are all these weird scenes of Aquaman and The Flash pondering their family life for some reason. Unfortunately, that doesn't really fit into a book that's supposed to be a big adventure, action-packed, event book. The big climax reveal has a few characters in 10th century Egypt dealing with The Frost King. The Swamp Thing is alive and in 10th century Egypt? Who greenlit this crap? 1/2*

EMPYRE #6

     This is finally over then? Not...so...fast. We've still got Empyre: Immortal She-Hulk #1, Empyre: Aftermath Avengers #1, and Empyre: Fallout Fantastic Four #1. And you're probably thinking what I'm thinking: I thought She-Hulk was killed a few issues ago? Well, apparently she's back. The evil alien that took over her body is killed and She-Hulk is back as if nothing happened. Writer Al Ewing sure loves immortal hulks...as he's currently writing The Immortal Hulk. Marvel should really just call every superhero "immortal" since every time they die they just return. Hell, in this issue Wolverine and The Thing are running around and fighting...and they both died in "big" issues Marvel published in the last decade. Black Panther died in Empyre but he's suddenly alive in this issue and the reason is just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. When he's asked how he's not dead he explains, "I slowed my heartbeat to almost nothing-- reducing blood loss-- until my ceremonial armor could patch my wounds." Ugh. Really? I can see how Marvel wouldn't want to kill off a character that's making them billions of dollars in Hollywood (although, Chadwick Boseman, who played Black Panther in the movie...died last week at 43 from colon cancer...so who knows if Black Panther 2 will ever happen)...but why pull off such a stupid trick? And they did it twice in this series, killing off She-Hulk and Black Panther only to reveal that, no, they weren't really dead. And since no one dies in this epic, it seems like kind of a lame, consequence-free event. Usually at least something drastic happens in these big comic book events. Nope. The bad guys lose and the good guys win. The sun was set to explode but somehow they solved that problem. I read this whole issue and still can't figure out how they did that. So the writing was atrocious. What about the art? Shockingly they got the same artist to pencil all six issues. I guess he started last Fall or something. That helps, as at least the whole thing looks the same. Usually by the end of these event books you have delays and issues with like ten artists as they attempt to get the things published before the end of time. Valerio Schiti did the pencils/inks and Marte Gracia did the colors and the book at least looks vibrant, albeit this particular issue looks a bit sloppier than the earlier ones. I think it's pretty safe to say that this event book was awful. It wasn't particularly entertaining. It didn't feature a single great scene or any great dialogue. There were way too many characters all over the world and the writing didn't exactly coherently present everything going on. DC Comics recently fired their publisher and have announced that starting next year they'll be cutting down the number of books published. That sounds like a good thing in theory. But this only means really good books that are weird or unique will never see the light of day. Marvel should at least wake the fuck up and try something like DC is doing because I'm tired of these terrible event books like Empyre being shoved down our throats every year. -No Stars-

EMPYRE #5

 

I suppose this sums up one of the big reasons I don’t particularly enjoy these big event books: Black Panther gets impaled by a sword in this issue and has no pulse and dies of blood loss…but he’s alive on the cover of #6. Jesus Christ. Also the sun is set to explode in nine minutes which would be the end of Earth. Woudn’t that be funny if I was completely wrong and the sun did explode and everyone on Earth died and Marvel could publish the books featuring the characters out in space like the Guardians of the Galaxy? And I guess they could publish Thor, since his home world is Midgard and not Earth…plus he’s like immortal. And I guess they could keep publishing The Immortal Hulk…since he wouldn’t die. So that’s 3 titles! Think this event will lead to Marvel only publishing 3 titles? You get the point I’m making…that the huge stakes in these event books are superfluous and things no reader takes serious…which takes the drama and suspense out of them. This issue also opens up with a gay wedding in Las Vegas…which feels totally out of place to just stop a world-ending, mega fight between various alien species and superheroes to show a wedding in Las Vegas. Maybe writer Al Ewing recently attended a gay wedding and decided to shoehorn it into this book to make the masses accept a gay marriage as being just an everyday thing and not something certain people find weird or revolting or wrong. Maybe Al Ewing is gay. Who knows? What we do know is that Al Ewing isn’t the greatest writer. I was hoping co-writer Dan Slott would write one of these issues but no, they’ve kept the same creative team throughout this series…which means they probably finished the whole thing before #1 was even printed. Which is a good thing, as I yearn for those halcyon days when a writer/artist team stayed on a book for a long run. I will say this about Al Ewing (and this is maybe why a lot of critics probably like his books): a lot of his stuff, besides the gay wedding of course, feels old-school like a Marvel space book from the ‘70’s. I mean…modern comics don’t usually feature super-dumb dialogue like this nugget: “I’m going to try to use the star-sword to disrupt the portal.” Also Hulkling turns out to be an evil impostor and the real Hulkling is in the brig locked in a Skrull inhibitor mask. Groan. And so we move to the conclusion of this awful saga with #6…which I presume will be out next week since I think the books have been coming out weekly. Maybe even Marvel realized the book sucks and so they just decided to release it quickly. Granted, it was supposed to be wrapped up a month ago but the pandemic changed things. I still like my reasoning better. 1/2*

EMPYRE #4

 

Maybe it’s because I’m not reading all of the spin-off issues…but I seemed to learn more about this book by reading the “previously” synopsis at the beginning of this issue than I did reading the first three issues. I guess it’s not that confusing. I’ve pretty much just been calling it plant man vs. everyone…which is basically true. There are a lot of characters in this that I don’t know…although Mantis, who, somehow, is Quoi’s (the plant man) mother. I do know…because she was in the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie. I’m not sure if this is a revelation or it happened it some previous Marvel book I never read…but Hulkling, who is Swordman’s (no, I don’t know who that is) son, and is also the leader of the new Kree/Skrull alliance, married a man, who shows up in this issue. Hulkling’s husband is Billy Kaplan, aka Wiccan. Who are these people? I’m genuinely curious what book all of these people are in. I’ve been reading X-Men for the last year and they’re not in that. I did read some of Danny Coates’ Guardians of the Galaxy a year or two ago and they weren’t in that. I started reading Dan Slott’s Fantastic Four run and they weren’t in that. I’ve read some of Jason Aaron’s Avengers run and they’re not in that. So what book are these people in? I suppose the big question is…what other books are out there that they could be in? I would say maybe a Young Avengers book but does that even exist? It seems that to understand any of what’s going on in this series you’d have to have read and studied every Marvel book for the last five years…which is kind of a problem. Does Marvel want new readers? Or do they just want to ostracize them? I read the original “Kree/Skrull War” storyline a few months ago and that featured a ton of characters I didn’t know much about…but it was written in a way that brought you up to speed. Empyre feels like the exact opposite; it’s throwing all these random characters around that you’re probably supposed to know and/or care about but you don’t…unless maybe your Marvel’s biggest super fan. The other thing in this particular issue that is kind of awful is that She-Hulk is dead…but she was killed “off page” sometime ago and it’s just revealed in this issue when she’s really just a husk that’s been taken over by an evil plant alien thing. Okay…not that She-Hulk is such a great, legendary character or anything…but, still…killing her awhile back and not even showing it? Lame. Shouldn’t that have been like a big deal when it happened? Groan. I probably should talk about the plot if this issue. Hulkling might be an imposter because he wants to use the Pyre, which is a weapon that will destroy the plant men known as the Cotati but it will also destroy the sun and kill everyone on Earth. There’s also a battle going on in Wakanda where the Cotati want to set up the Death Blossom that will also kill everyone on Earth. Jeez…you think everyone on Earth is going to die and Marvel will stop publishing books and that’s the end of the company? Maybe that’s the problem with these event books that provide huge stakes that are obviously never going to result in any kind of long term damage. So far this book is just all over the map in a bad way. I will admit that the art, which is by the same team that did the first three issues, is colorful and vibrant and alive. But for $4.99 with only 20 pages of art…this book is a rip-off. Everyone is tired of these boring, bulging event series and yet they keep publishing them to help their profit margins. I’d like to think maybe that will change, but there’s an ad in this book for the next big event, the X-Men’s X of Swords, so it doesn’t seem like that’s ever going to happen. ½*

EMPYRE #3

I’ve been reading Empyre while mostly wondering what the heck kind of story is filling all of these side books the event has. The reason I’m wondering is because there isn’t exactly a hell of a lot going on in the main book. There’s an evil alien that controls plants. And there’s the Fantastic Four and the Avengers that are against him. There are the Skrulls and the Kree but they’re just kind of sitting on the sidelines not doing much. There are 53 books in this event…so what the hell is going on in the other 47 books? Well this issue, #3, kind of answers that. There’s a panel that explains that “Captain America is leading Earth’s heroes—super and otherwise—to fight the Cotati across the world.” And “Thor is on a mythical quest—seeking out powers only a God can access.” Okay. Sounds exciting. In this issue, The Thing is in Wakanda fighting the aliens. And Tony Stark is with Reed Richards. And a new, big bad shows up at the end of this issue. R’Klll, the Empress of Skrulls. I’m not entirely sure how you’re supposed to pronounce “R’Kill.” But she admits that she’s, “far more than a mere Skrull.” Okay. She’s “survivor of Galactus! Mother of Anelle, the Holy Matyr! Grandmother of Dorrek VIII, the King of All Space!” So there’s apparently a guy that’s the king of all space that I’ve somehow never heard of even though I’ve been reading Marvel comic books for the last thirty years. Makes sense. With the same writer (Al Ewing) and artist (Valerio Schiti), this book is pretty much just more of the same. I will admit that the Empress of Skrulls is a better villain than plant man. I suppose that’s something. *

EMPYRE #2

 

The big thing I noticed with this book is that it’s only 20 pages long. And here I thought this was a “big” event comic book. Empyre #4 was $4.99…I know because I bought it the day it came out. Was this issue, #2, $4.99 for only 20 pages of art? I’m not sure, as I just downloaded it awhile back and can’t remember. And since this issue is only 20 pages, obviously not a lot happens. Captain Marvel dies…and comes back to life literally on the next page. Way to go, drama! The big bad in this series is the leader of the alien group the Cotati (yep, stupid name). His name is Quoi, and he can control plants. So he ends up sending these killer vines to Earth where they attack. The Avengers try to stop him but he teleports somewhere. And that’s about it. I noted while reviewing #1 that Empyre consists of 53 books (although I thought I had read somewhere that a few of them have been cancelled because of the pandemic). How is an evil plant guy enough story for 53 books? Granted, this is only #2 of #6…so maybe it gets bigger and better. If every issue is only 20 pages, though, I kind of doubt it. So far the Kree and the Skrulls haven’t really done too much. Maybe they’ll get more involved. As for the writing and art, it’s the same team from #1. I was kind of hoping Dan Slott would write this issue as he’s a better writer than Al Ewing, even though I was glad Slott was booted off The Amazing Spider-Man and I stopped reading Slott’s Fantastic Four after two or so issues. That tells you how much I like Al Ewing’s writing. This issue, and this series, is just super bland. There’s nothing remotely exciting or fun about it. I’m trying to think if any Marvel books are any good these days. Hickman’s X-Men is probably the only one that’s any good, and that’s lost a ton of steam since last summer when it started. Danny Coates, Marvel’s hot new writer, has been writing Venom and Thor lately and those are pretty good, although I have the last 3 issues of both stories still sitting on my Ipad…which means those books are so great I haven’t even bothered to read them in 3 months. Oh, well. 1/2*

EMPYRE #1

It seemed that, not so long ago, the big, comic book event series were actually a big deal. Not that they were any good (when was the last time an event comic was any good?), but that they seemed to get a lot of press and people talked about them and they were kind of a big deal at the moment. I’m thinking of Civil War, Secret Empire…and maybe that one where Captain America was evil (it was so great I forget the name of it). But these last few years have produced a bunch of plodding, monotonous, forgotten event series that have kind of just ended up being regular mini-series that are going on with a bunch of side books that don’t garner much attention. Marvel and DC have kind of given up on having big event series that figure into every corner of their respective universes. Now the event books are just with one character, like how Thor had his War of the Realms event and Carnage had Absolute Carnage and Batman is amidst  “The Joker War” at the moment. Empyre is Marvel’s big event book for 2020, and while it does feature The Fantastic Four and The Avengers, I’m not sure it was ever meant to be any kind of monumental game changer. Supposedly the companies have to do these event books to help their profits every year (added books mean added sales I guess)…so they’re not doing them because they had a good idea or thought it’d be cool. No, they do them because they have to. And Empyre is kind of a lame duck idea anyway. It’s kind of a sequel to the “Kree/Skrull War” storyline that was in The Avengers book back in the 70’s. When this pandemic started I wrote 30 comic book reviews in 30 days because, well, I could. And I just happened to review the Road to Empyre book which set up this new event series. Because the “Kree/Skrull War” is always talked about as being this great, famous, legendary story I decided to go read it and review it. It didn’t turn out that great! No, not the reviews, those were fantastic…the “Kree/Skrull War” storyline wasn’t that great. It started off good but didn’t really go anywhere interesting. And comic books must have really sucked back then for that storyline to have been so momentous. I’m still curious why it’s so famous…I think because other writers just used those characters again and again and it became this long story that could only be understood if you read the original. So it wasn’t so much a great story as just a template. Either way, the Skrulls and the Kree are back in Empyre #1. They’re not fighting anymore, though, they’ve joined together to form an alliance. There’s another alien group now that are living on the moon and are apparently a peaceful people until the end of this issue when it turns out they’re not and they’re evil and their leader is the big bad. Okay. Which means I guess that Empyre is basically the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, the Kree, and the Skrulls versus this new, evil group, the Cotati. At the end of this issue, the Cotati’s leader shouts, “We begin our Empyre!” Not sure why he’s calling it “empyre” and not “empire.” It’s…cooler? There’s also a smorgasbord of popular Marvel heroes here, considering this is a big event book and they’re supposed to just be packed with a thousand characters. Black Panther, The Thing, Iron-Man, She-Hulk, Captain America, Thor, Ghost Rider. The book isn’t exactly boring, though it’s not particular good. Al Ewing and Dan Slott came up with the story and Al Ewing wrote this first issue. Ewing, for whatever reason, has gotten accolades for his current run on The Immortal Hulk…which I tried reading but didn’t like at all. Maybe Empyre will get more entertaining and fun when Dan Slott writes an issue. As for the art…Valerio Schiti did the art and Marte Gracia did the colors. The book is definitely colorful and vibrant. I had heard that Marvel was cancelling some of the side books to this event…so who knows if any of these exist…but there’s a checklist for Empyre and there are 53 books in all. Jesus Christ. Do you think anyone is reading (and can afford) 53 books? They’ve got to be out of their minds. Here’s a taste of the great books you could read: Empyre: The Invasion of Wakanda #2, Lords of Empyre: Swordsman #1, Lords of Empyre: Celestial Messiah #1, Empyre: Stormranger #3. Ugh. Who comes up with this crap? This checklist is old, though, and should have been changed, because Empyre #4 just came out on August 5^th when the whole thing was supposed to be over in July. So we get…what? Another two months of this epic space yarn? Yay. *

ROBERT KIRKMAN WEEK: OBLIVION SONG #25

Released on July 8th, 2020

    Last July, when The Walking Dead ended, it also kind of felt like Robert Kirkman's career was ending. That was the book that made him famous, that spawned a hugely popular TV show, that everyone talked about. And since he ended his other long running book, Invincible, a year earlier, it kind of seemed like maybe his legendary status in the comic book world would fade. I probably only thought that because it reminded me of Garth Ennis, who was never really the same after he ended his most famous book, Preacher. Sure, Garth Ennis still writes comic books. Sure, his book, The Boys, ran for a long time and was somewhat popular. But nothing he ever wrote since Preacher was ever as good. And I kind of thought that might happen with Kirkman, that he put everything he had into The Walking Dead and it was his masterpiece and he'd never even make anything half as good again. It's early, but I bet I'm right. He's never going to write anything as great, as popular, as awesome as The Walking Dead. Oblivion Song is one of his newer books. Yesterday the big, double-size, #25 came out. When it started, I thought it was fantastic. The story was intriguing, it had potential, it felt fresh. Twenty-five issues later, it unfortunately hasn't turned into anything all that great. The basic premise is that there's another dimension with aliens. An event occurred in Philly years ago where a bunch of U.S. citizens inadvertently got zapped into the other dimension. A hero, Nathan, came up with technology that could send him to this other dimension to save those folks and bring them back. So now, twenty-five issues later, there's some people still in the other dimension and the aliens are threatening to come to earth and take over. This issue takes place three years later from #24, when Nathan got stuck in the other dimension. Now he's slowly making friends with a few of the aliens while trying to make something to get him home. And there's also a "growth" that's killing that other dimension. Whew. That's a lot of fucking story. One major problem with the book is that the art isn't very good. It's not terrible, it's just very sloppy looking. So sloppy looking that during action sequences it's hard to tell what's going on. Lorenzo de Felici does the art and Annalisa Leoni does the colors. The colors are vibrant and awesome. Annalisa also pencils the backup story, and her art is great, although probably too cartoony for this type of book (Lumberjanes should hire her). There's also a Science Dog story in the book drawn by Cory Walker that's awful. While Oblivion Song at least holds my interest, it's not as exciting as, say, The Walking Dead. Maybe when the aliens invade earth and there's a huge battle spread across fifty issues I'll change my tune. But this book is not going to be as great as The Walking Dead. And neither will Fire Power, which is better, but still too much of an Iron Fist rip-off to take very serious. The one takeaway I do have is that while Kirkman might not write another popular epic, he at least can still entertain. His books are fun, usually enjoyable. I suppose that's saying something. **1/2

ROBERT KIRKMAN WEEK: OUTCAST #45

Released on May 20th, 2020

     The Walking Dead was such a huge hit on TV that Hollywood decided to adapt everything Robert Kirkman was doing. I think every book he's done has been greenlit or is currently in development. Outcast was quickly made into a TV show shortly after the comic book came out. It only lasted 2 seasons on Cinemax and didn't make much of an impact and has now pretty much been forgotten. The reason is probably that it wasn't a very good comic book to begin with and thus it wasn't a very good show. The premise is basically that it's about demonic possession...or, at least, it seemed to be until this current, final arc. The book is ending with #48, and these last few issues are dealing with The Great Merge, whatever the fuck that is. We learned in this arc that it's not demonic possession or any kind of God vs. Satan plot...the evil that's been infecting people is actually from another planet or another dimension. There's also a good light/being thing that can infect people. Okay. This issue, #45, ends with one of the evil people infected saying, "The time for The Great Merge...has come." So maybe #46 is better. For whatever reason, this book has never entirely worked. I guess I can't say that I hate it or it sucks because I've read all 45 issues of it. It's semi-interesting. I think I've just always been waiting for it to break out of it's shell and become something super entertaining and awesome. Also...maybe scary? Has it ever been scary or frightening? Maybe a little. Artist Paul Azaceta is actually the perfect choice for this book and he has done a good job drawing the evil possessed folk and creating a dark, oft-putting mood. By this issue, there's a group of the good guys that have been camping at a farm. But this was all a ruse by the evil guys to get them all together. Perhaps a huge battle will take place next issue. This has always been Robert Kirkman's black sheep book it seems. Nobody talks about it and I don't think it sells very well. Once it's over it'll probably be forgotten like the TV show. *1/2
     

ROBERT KIRKMAN WEEK: FIRE POWER #1

Released on July 1st, 2020

     Sadly, Robert Kirkman Week is becoming two weeks long. But don't blame me, blame the 4th of July. Either way, today was Tuesday, July 7th, which meant that DC comics released their new books today. Thankfully I just read digitally now, as who the fuck wants to go to the comic book store on Tuesday and Wednesday? Granted, usually DC books wouldn't sell out or anything so you could just go on Wednesday. But they do sell out sometimes. I thought that this pandemic would maybe try to strengthen comic book stores when they begin to open up but it seems like it hasn't. Supposedly comic book stores in Canada are all pissed off because the shipping costs for DC books now are super high. Diamond used to ship the books to a warehouse in Canada first to save stores from having to pay to ship the books all the way from the U.S. Eh. I still marvel that comic book stores exist or even make a profit. I also heard that Diamond was the reason that comic books stopped being sold in supermarkets, book stores, pharmacies, etc., because their only clients are comic book stores and Diamond used to be the only comic book distributor in town. Maybe things will change eventually for the better when the dust settles...as the pandemic is actually at it's worst right now, this second, in the U.S. It's gotten a lot better here in the Philly area and in New York, but now it's getting really bad in Florida and Texas and Arizona. So while we here in the Philly suburbs have comic book stores open, who the hell knows what's going on in other states. DC had a ton of new books out today, so it seems like the comic book schedule is back to normal at least. For now. We're still getting a lot of books that were supposed to come out months ago finally being released. Fire Power #1 was supposed to come out on Free Comic Book Day, which was the first Saturday in May. While it didn't come out then it still has to be considered the best Free Comic Book Day comic book to ever be released. Usually the books that are free are lame preview books or something. I do remember Savage Dragon releasing a full, free, regular issue on FCBD years ago...but Fire Power #1 beats that since it's the free first issue of a new book by the hottest comic book creator today, Robert Kirkman. I suppose it's beside the point that it's a complete and utter rip-off of Iron Fist. Which, as we noted yesterday, is a copy of some comic book character from the 30's. In this free, first issue, we find the kung-fu hero in suburbia having a barbecue with family and friends. He has apparently given up his kung-fu hero status, and his wife and kids are oblivious about his past. But a fellow, ninja warrior that trained with him has returned to ask him to return. The hero declines. Honestly, this book is a pretty poor #1 issue...but only if you didn't read the graphic novel prelude. The big idea behind the book is that we'll slowly start getting tidbits about why he gave up on his kung-fu life and why his love interest died and of course he'll return to being a superhero and his wife and kids will find out everything. Which is compelling. Even mediocre Robert Kirkman books are usually at least entertaining. They're also super easy to read, as he never uses a lot of words in his books. He also has a knack for delivering a good climax/ending to his issues to keep you interested in next month's installment. And I adore all of his book's letters pages. So Fire Power is so far a winner. It certainly helps that artist Chris Samnee is drawing it. And Matt Wilson is doing a hell of a job coloring it. While this particular issue wasn't as good as the epic graphic novel prelude, it was free. Quit bitching. **1/2

ROBERT KIRKMAN WEEK: FIRE POWER VOL. 1: PRELUDE

Released on July 1st, 2020

   Maybe Robert Kirkman is just bored...but in the last two years he's been trying all sorts of new things in the comic book world. He surprise released his book Die!Die!Die!, he surprise ended The Walking Dead with a 70 page, regular priced issue, and now he's introducing his new book, Fire Power, with a one-two punch of a graphic novel and Free Comic Book Day issue. Kirkman mentions in the post script of FCBD Fire Power that his original idea was to have a 70 page first issue for no good reason. His script for the first issue ballooned into a 154 page script so he decided to release that first issue as a graphic novel. Originally the graphic novel prelude was supposed to come out on the first Wednesday of May followed by the Free Comic Book Day issue on that first Saturday in May. Well the pandemic squashed those plans so we just got both of those books last week on July 1st. I'm not entirely sure why Kirkman decided to bombard us with so much content at the beginning. Normally I'd say that's a good idea to get press and buzz for something...but Kirkman is the most popular, well-known comic book writer out there these days...he doesn't really need the press. So I'm thinking he's just bored (and I'm kind of surprised he hasn't just fled the comic book realm for Hollywood by now). Fire Power is great, though, and probably the most entertaining of the new books he's created since Invincible and The Walking Dead. The huge problem is that there's a reason it's super entertaining: it's a complete rip-off of Marvel's Iron Fist. It's not even really a somewhat similar book...it's literally the same book. It's kind of like if I wrote a book called Bat Person where a superhero dressed up like a bat and was rich and had a butler and faced a villain that told riddles. I'm not entirely sure why Marvel can't sue him. I guess because Kirkman is rich and has influence at Image are the reasons he can get away with it. Or maybe Iron Fist copied something when that character was introduced. Maybe? Should I look it up? I just did and Iron Fist is a copy. Amazing-Man was a superhero in books published in the 30's and 40's. He was an orphan raised by monks in Tibet and trained to have super powers. Okay...so I guess Kirkman is just copying from everyone then. Which doesn't exactly make it better. He can't come up with an original idea? Considering his two most famous books are just a zombie book and a Superman book...no, I guess not. Anyway, in this Fire Power graphic novel...a half Chinese, half American dude is climbing through the snow in the Himalayas to find a mystical city in the clouds where a monk dude trains people to do kung-fu. The guy trains and eventually learns to lost art of being able to throw fire balls with his fists. Yes, it sounds fucking stupid but it's actually a super fun and super enjoyable book. I read the whole 154 page book in one sitting. It helps that Chris Samnee is drawing it, so it looks fantastic and exactly like a comic book should (more cartoon-esque than realistic). At the end of this graphic novel, we cut to fifteen years later when the hero has given up on his kung-fu life and is married with kids and living in the suburbs. But there's a ninja watching him from the trees! Uh oh! And that's the book. I loved it...so I guess I can't complain that it's a copycat. ***

ROBERT KIRKMAN WEEK: NEGAN LIVES!

Released on July 1st, 2020

     I went into a comic book store for the first time in years today. I usually just read them digitally because it's light years easier. But Robert Kirkman decided to help out comic book stores because they've all suffered through this pandemic (the ones around here were closed from the middle of March until the middle of June) so he decided to release a new, free Walking Dead comic. It's kind of a big deal since The Walking Dead ended last July with #193 (which was a surprise at the time...nobody knew it would be the last issue...they even released fake issue cover solicitations for #194 and a few others...and #193 was a triple size book for just $3.99). This new issue, a one-shot titled Negan Lives!, is basically just a book to show what happened to Negan since the last issue he was in was #174. The biggest surprise in this new book is the post-script by Kirkman detailing how originally he had Maggie shoot and kill Negan in #174 but artist Charlie Adlard talked him out of it. Honestly, Maggie killing Negan would have been a better ending for him. But he's back now, for one issue at least. Reading this book kind of just made me sad, though. The Walking Dead was never that great the last few years (it probably reached it's peak with The Governor storyline which ended in #48), but it was still one of the most engrossing books on the stands. Since it came out for ten years, I was used to consistently reading it and being immersed in that world. So reading this new issue just made me sad that it's still not around...especially since Kirkman seemed to keep saying it would continue forever (and the original idea for the book was just that...to showcase not just the zombie apocalypse...but what life would look like years and years after that). In this issue, Negan is milling about alone and depressed when a group shows up and tries to kill him. They fail, but a cute girl in the group ends up liking Negan enough to be saved and the two of them decide to go on a journey to recover his dead wife's remains and bring them back to bury her. And that's it. Kind of pointless, especially considering that we're still left with Negan alive and his future uncertain. Will there be another Negan book in a few years? Who knows? But this book did get me to go to a comic book store for the first time in a long time. I was actually kind of surprised they still had a bunch of copies of this book on the stands (Comic Book Universe, another local store, mentioned on their Facebook page that there probably wasn't enough copies of it to ever make the shelves after giving it to the regulars and subscribers...so I didn't fucking go there). I went to Showcase Comics in Swarthmore. I've been going to that store on and off for probably twenty years. They moved three times to different locations in the Granite Run Mall (I remember buying a cheap, somewhat damaged copy of The Punisher #1 from that first location) and finally when the Mall closed they moved to Swarthmore. The store had a mother with a bunch of her kids running around. And like a typical comic book store, the owner rang me up while talking on the phone (great customer service, idiot...you put the phone down when you have a customer). But I at least got what I went in there for. I got Negan Lives!, which was $4.99, the Fire Power OGN, which was $9.99, and the Free Comic Book Day Fire Power #1 which was, obviously, free. I probably won't be going back to a comic book store for the foreseeable future. Digital is just way too convenient. I'm shocked comic book stores still exist. Those kids in the store today might have been the first kids I've ever seen in a comic book store. It's usually old heads like me...this dying breed. **1/2

ROBERT KIRKMAN WEEK: DIE!DIE!DIE! #10

Released on June 10th, 2020

     It's July 1st...which should mean the only thing people are thinking about is what they're going to do to celebrate the big holiday this weekend. Unfortunately, the virus pandemic that has swept the globe isn't getting any better...at least here in the U.S. Since I wrote the "30 Reviews in 30 Days" feature, things have gotten somewhat better here in Pennsylvania. Last Friday the state went into the Green phase...which meant that barber shops and nail salons could open back up. Restaurants are allowed to have outdoor dining. Comic book stores finally opened back up two weeks ago. Florida and Texas have had a big rise in cases, mostly because their governors are Republicans and idiots and opened up too early. California attempted to reopen most things but had to stop doing that when a surge in cases started. So, quite basically, we're fucked. This virus isn't going away any time soon. A few scientists have said what I think most scientists actually believe: the virus isn't going away and we'll just have to learn to live with it. The death of comic book stores hasn't occurred, as some had thought, though if things get worse and worse then who knows what will happen. The big news in the comic book world was that DC officially broke from the Diamond distributor and two new distributors, Midtown Comics (UCS) and DCBS (Lunar), are shipping DC books now. DC comic books are now on sale on Tuesdays, which means that new comics are now coming out on Tuesday and Wednesday. It's good that comic book shipping isn't a monopoly any more, although the last time this happened, when Marvel left Diamond and started their own shipping company, the comic book industry tanked and Marvel went bankrupt. All of this craziness means that comic book shipping has been pretty haphazard and all over the map since new books started coming back out about a month ago. And so far it isn't really new books that are coming out, but books that would have been released in April that are just delayed. This week actually has no new Marvel books coming out, and DC only has a few digital only releases. Image has a ton of books coming out this week, noticeably three from writer Robert Kirkman. They're not exactly three typical, ho-hum books, either, they're huge fucking releases that merit attention. So why not delve into the mind (and books) of Robert Kirkman for a week? Hell, he's been the biggest writer/creator in comics for the last five years or so at least. And either because he's rich (thanks to his The Walking Dead TV money) or just a good guy, he's actually doing something pretty unique this week. To help comic book stores in this dire time of need, he's publishing a new Walking Dead book and sending it to comic book stores for free (customers have to pay $4.99 for it). The book, Negan Lives!, is a comic book store exclusive, meaning it isn't being published digitally (granted, I assume someone is going to scan it and post it online sooner rather than later). The other books he's writing that are coming out today are the Free Comic Book Day issue of Fire Power #1 and the Fire Power prequel graphic novel, both of which were supposed to come out in early May. Kirkman also has three other monthly books that he writes, so I figured I'd review the latest issues of those and let the world know if his stuff is any good these days. Kirkman was one of the best writers in comic books...about ten years ago. His early issues of The Walking Dead were legend, as was Invincible. Die!Die!Die! is one of his newer books and it's not really entirely his book. He writes it but the ex-producer of The Walking Dead TV show, Scott Gimple, co-plots it. Chris Burnham, who used to draw Batman, Inc. awhile back, is the artist. The book is kind of like Mission: Impossible; a secret, government funded group of assassins/spies help prevent world destruction. The caveat, as the ridiculous title kind of tells you, is that this book is balls-to-the-wall bonkers. It's ridiculous and super bloody and comedic. I guess since I've read all ten issues so far (the book recently returned from a year long hiatus with #9) I kind of like it. Intrigued is probably a more apt description. The book is probably most famous for being a "surprise" release. It came out with only a few days notice and was sent to comic book stores for free. Considering nobody really talks about it online that much, I guess very few people kept reading it after the surprise wore off. The last issue, #9, came out in March, and #8 came out in February 2019, so while reading #10 I have to admit that I was a little lost as to what happened in previous issues. The book started with three identical twins that were also assassins. One is evil. One comes back from the dead in this issue. There's not really much of a plot in this issue besides the dead brother coming back. There's some action but I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Amusing? Sure. I did laugh at the scene when a mother is showing her daughter the parlor trick of stabbing a knife between your fingers really fast while not cutting them. "Is game," she says to the child. "Hand and eye to work as one. Mostly just looks cool. Is in...all the movies." Should I also mention that the book opens with, for whatever reason, a sequence showing that men are getting pregnant now and so they're all suddenly for abortion? Dick babies. Does that make you laugh? Kind of just embarrassingly stupid. I guess the book just tries to shock for the sake of shock. It doesn't help that the art looks a little rough and rushed. But the book does have one good element; it feels like Kirkman and Burnham are having a total blast making it and it shows. I just kind of wish maybe reading it felt that good. * (out of ****)

30 REVIEWS IN 30 DAYS (30): STRANGE ACADEMY #1

Released on March 4th, 2020

     Kids don't read comic books. Gerry Conway, the writer who famously killed off both Gwen Stacey and Norman Osbourne/The Green Goblin in consecutive issues, said in an article about the future of comic book stores that "as comics began retreating from newsstands into specialty shops in the early 70's, comic readers became older, preferring heavier, more complex fare. But this may have made comics less accessible to newcomers." Everyone seems to say this, although I started reading comics around 1990 when I was only ten (I used my paper route money to buy comics every Friday). Although if you ever go into a comic book store, you get the point. Everyone is around my age (40). Which kind of makes sense, since my generation was young when comics were at their peak in the early 90's. You would think that with all of these blockbuster superhero movies being released every year that it would make the new generation start reading comic books. If it's happened, it certainly hasn't happened in droves. So it's kind of weird to see Marvel making a book like Strange Academy, which is purely for children (although I doubt few children will end up ever reading it). It's basically Harry Potter but instead of wizards its superheroes...although since this is Dr. Strange's school for kids with powers, it kind of is more about wizards than superheroes. Is Dr. Strange a hero or a wizard? Both? Either way, the plot of this book is fucking lazy as hell. Harry Potter was probably the biggest best selling book series ever...so maybe it makes sense to rip it off. So far, Strange Academy is a pretty poor Harry Potter rip off. There are zero compelling characters, teachers, villains, or plot points. Granted, it's only a first issue. The art, by Humberto Ramos, is terrific. The writing, by Skottie Young, who's a terrific cartoonist, is pretty basic and flat (as compared to his writing in Image's I Hate Fairyland...which was wild and balls-to-the-wall). I doubt that this book will sell a lot, or be popular, or turn into something great. Not that it's geared towards children, but the fact that it's kind of boring. It also didn't help that #2 was delayed because of the Corona virus pandemic. And the whole reason I started this "30 Reviews in 30 Days" was to give me something to take my mind off the death toll that keeps rising. But any news related to comic books just kept reminding me about it. Nobody knows when comic book stores here in PA will reopen. DC is releasing a few books next week to stores that are open. I'm not sure if they're going to release them digitally. DC had to find a new shipping company to do this since Diamond isn't opening until the middle of May. While the U.S. government is apparently going to send billions of dollars to small businesses, I'm not sure this will prevent the closure of thousands of comic book stores. I always thought that they should just go digital and give up on comic book stores. Digital is the future, right? Hell, I'd be reading new books right now if they did that. But the industry is still clinging onto the past. As great as comic book stores are, they're an outdated business model. Why not bring comics back to the drugstore, the supermarket, the convenience/gas store? Us 40 year old fans aren't going to keep comic book stores in business forever. So maybe this pandemic will alter the landscape forever. It's too early to tell. When I started writing this I probably didn't think that 30 days later we'd actually be in worse shape. I probably should have written a "500 Reviews in 500 Days" blog instead, as I'll still need something to keep my mind occupied until the Fall, Christmas, next year, or whenever things go back to normal. In the end, though, I don't think comic books, in whatever shape or form they're produced and delivered, will ever disappear. They've been around too long, they're ingrained in our culture, even if it's just now a small little hobby that kids don't really pay much attention to anymore. 1/2*

30 REVIEWS IN 30 DAYS (29): JOHN CONSTANTINE: HELLBLAZER #1

Released on November 27th, 2019

     I got into Hellblazer late, when Andy Diggle was writing it and it was getting a phenomenal reception. I stayed until the end, #300, which came out way back in 2013 and ended writer Peter Milligan's excellent run. In those years, it was one of my favorite comics. The character was great, the stories great, and the Simon Bisley covers were the best in comics. DC tried two different reboots of the series that didn't last long because they weren't R-rated like the old book. This new reboot, with its stupid title (just call it Hellblazer and number it #301, you fuckwits), is pretty much the same as the old, good book. It's a return to form that's very welcome. There is a reason that John Constantine has stuck around since Alan Moore introduced him in the 80's during his legendary Swamp Thing run. He's a compelling character in a compelling world. He's basically a drunk, cigarette smoking bad ass that also can do magic and ends up dealing with the underbelly of sorcery; demons, ghosts, monsters, etc. Writer Simon Spurrier, who has written Crossed in the past, is kind of a perfect fit for this book. His writing is bonkers and very, very dark. But he can also be very funny. It's a great mix. This issue is truly out there. The basic plot isn't, but the way it unfolds is very much all over the map and often obscure, confusing, wild, bizarre, sick, and disturbing. It's also very, very hard to follow with this heavy English dialect being tossed around. Here's a bit of dialogue from this issue: "Common's hot, bruv. Gone dead-up. Six lost--daaaak shit. How we gonna sell what we got where we can't go, uh?" I'm not sure if this is realistic dialogue...I'd probably have to go sell drugs in the poor part of Liverpool to know this, but it does make the book interesting at least. The plot here has a few drug dealers trying to sell drugs but there are angels that appear in a park at night and peel the skin off of people. Okay. So the drug dealers get John Constantine to help out. Boris Johnson, the real prime minister of the U.K., also makes an appearance at the end as he runs away naked after having sex with some weird, shady guy in an alley. Yep. I guess a book like this can get away with a controversy like that because who the hell reads Hellblazer? This book feels like writer Simon Spurrier doesn't give a fuck about anything. This is truly out there. The dark, gloomy, sketchy art by Aaron Campbell certainly helps to set the tone. So far, only one issue in, this isn't exactly the same or as good as the original Hellblazer. But it definitely feels like it could become similar. Bring on another 300 issues! I've been dying to get back to these dark places. ***

30 REVIEWS IN 30 DAYS (28): WONDER WOMAN: DEAD EARTH BOOK TWO

Released on February 19th, 2020

     DC started a mature line called Black Label awhile back. It was pretty much a complete disaster. Batman: Damned #1, by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, was DC's first Black Label book. It also just happened to show Batman's dick. Granted, it was in shadow, but it still caused an uproar. DC refused to reprint the issue and in the collected trade paperback and digital edition they edited it out. So that's how Black Label started. I heard somewhere that they were going to end it this year anyway for whatever reason. The basic idea was to get big name creators to do different, R-rated spins on famous characters. They'd only be a few issues but they'd be a larger size (so...pretty much impossible to collect and find a bag and board for them) with more pages. They recently did two Joker series and now they're doing a Wonder Woman book. Daniel Warren Johnson, who did Extremity and Murder Falcon for Image, is writing and drawing Wonder Woman: Dead Earth, which is a four issue series. I haven't read his Image work, but heard good things about Extremity, which I actually have downloaded somewhere waiting to read. I should read his earlier stuff, as Wonder Woman: Dead Earth is great. The story has Wonder Woman waking up and realizing that the world has completely changed while she was out. It's basically Mad Max now...which humans struggling to survive in a post apocalyptic world filled with monsters. So Wonder Woman takes charge and decides to lead a group of humans back to her island. The big reveal in this issue is that while she was in a coma or asleep for centuries or whatever, humans tried to launch atomic bombs onto her island and kill off all of the gods. This radiation turned all of the female gods on the island into monsters. So Wonder Woman hadn't been helping humans to fight monsters...she'd been helping humans fight her own people! Daniel Warren Johnson is definitely a better writer than artist. The story here is very interesting but the art is pretty sloppy. The art isn't bad...it's just not as clean and vibrant as most comic books are. The art does work for some of this story since the world is a post apocalyptic hellscape and it should look messy, dirty, and ragged like the art. The story is so good that I didn't really mind the artwork not being high caliber. My biggest problem with this book is mostly the way it was published. This is a great Wonder Woman story. Granted, it might be difficult to do it in the regular series without everything going back to normal at the end, but when was the last time the regular Wonder Woman book was this good? Ever? They should have just done this story in the regular book. I hate when they do these excellent side mini-series when the regular, continuing book is a fucking joke that needs a boost. It makes no sense. It's not to sell more copies...because nobody buys Wonder Woman comic books. Wouldn't you want to give the main book a boost? And it would've gotten a huge boost. This might end up being the best Wonder Woman book ever. ***1/2

30 REVIEWS IN 30 DAYS (27): ASCENDER #10

Released on March 18th, 2020

     There's a huge death in Ascender #10...and I'm wondering if this book is probably better reading it in trades, since I vaguely even remember who the woman that dies is. Descender was a great book, a true modern classic. Jeff Lemire wrote it and Dustin Nguyen did the art. When that book ended they picked everything back up years later with the same characters in Ascender. The only difference is that this new book has magic in it, so it's more like Lord of the Rings when the first volume was more like Star Wars. The first book had Andy as a boy, but he's a man now with a kid. He kills the mother of his kid in this issue because she's become a vampire and wanted to die. Meanwhile, their kid is having her own adventure with a few other ragtag heroes. The big reveal at the end is the return of Driller, a robot from the first book. This issue ends volume II...which I'm guessing is volume II of Ascender. I actually read this book every month but am a little lost, which is why I mentioned that reading it in trades might make it more coherent. I do love this book, as it's one of the few books I usually read when it first comes out (granted, this issue came out a month ago...but it's also probably going to be the last issue of this series for awhile because of the pandemic). Ascender has a big bad known as Mother, who's kind of a witch because she has powers and sort of controls/brainwashes most of the world. There's also vampires in this series that are sort of Mother's army. Then there's Andy who was living with his daughter on the fringes of society and trying to keep things quiet and simple until he was forced to become a hero again. While Ascender isn't as interesting as Descender, it's still a very cool book. The one standout is still the art. I probably should go on Youtube or somewhere and find out how Nguyen does the art. It looks like he draws it then paints over it with water colors. He might just use a computer to make it look like that...but either way this book looks like nothing you've ever seen. It's beautiful. It's also Jeff Lemire's best book...which is saying something because he literally seems to be writing a hundred books every month (just off the top of my head I know he's been writing Joker: Killer Smile, Black Hammer, and Gideon Falls lately). It's also saying something that, unlike a lot of comics, I'm really looking forward to the next issue. ***

30 REVIEWS IN 30 DAYS (26): X-MEN #7

Released on February 26th, 2020

     My pick for Best Comic Book last year was the 12 part, weekly X-Men book that brought writer Jonathan Hickman back to Marvel. Technically it was two books, House of X and Powers of X, but both 6 part series were continued and connected and led to the new X-Men #1 and to a bunch of other new #1 issues (Wolverine #1, Marauders #1, Excalibur #1, X-Force #1, New Mutants #1, and Fallen Angels #1). I loved HOXPOX (as comic book fans started to call it) because it was fresh, bold, alive, and exciting. The X-Men have been boring for years and this gave it an adrenaline shot to the heart. It was a big hit both commercially and critically. So now...seven issues into the main, continuing X-Men book...has it kept its momentum? Yes and no. It's still a great book. Visually, this issue is exceptional (Leinil Francis Yu penciled and inked it). The writing is pretty much just more of the same as HOXPOX...which is kind of where the big problem comes in. As an introduction, HOXPOX was great. It had a fantastic setup and felt very bold in the act of actually trying to do something new with characters that have been around forever. The problem is that, like HOXPOX, this ongoing series is basically just a bunch of "cool" scenes without any kind of forward momentum. Yes, the X-Men fighting a big bad has been done before...but there's a reason for that. Without a big evil enemy or any sort of continuing conflict, there's kind of a big chunk seemingly missing from this book. So far the big bad is the X-Men and their newfound island, Krakatoa. They are their worst enemy. Which is new, sure, but it isn't really sustaining the book since it's bi-monthly. Everything seems to be setting up the X-Men and their newfound, bizarre cult-like family world crashing down on themselves. Which is definitely going to happen. So while this book is great and readable and engrossing and definitely unique, it also feels like just random scenes and it feels like it's either missing something or it's just moving too slowly to get to its ultimate destination. In this issue, we get The Crucible. This is a gladiator type of event where a human that used to be a mutant is sacrificed so they can be resurrected as a mutant. All of this is happening on Krakatoa, which is the island that all of the mutants live now, even the bad guys. The big idea that Hickman came up with is that this new island world has their own laws, rules, and the rest of the world can't touch them. The island is also fantastical and filled with a bunch of weird shit. So it's a cool premise. And I'm sure once this new paradise collapses it'll be a hell of a ride. But it also feels like something that probably could have been accomplished a lot quicker, right? It's definitely a great book, definitely better than most superhero books out there that are just the usual, cliched, been-there-done-that shit, but it also feels like it's missing something, that it's just a cool setup and nothing else. ***

30 REVIEWS IN 30 DAYS (25): TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #101

Released on January 8th, 2020

     About ten years or so ago, Image rebooted Glory, which had been a forgettable Rob Liefeld book from the 90's. Surprisingly, this new Glory was a masterpiece. Joe Keatinge wrote it and Ross Campbell (now Sophie Campbell) penciled it. After that series ended, I would read whatever Keatinge put out because I had loved Glory so much. And I often looked around to see what Sophie Campbell was doing because her artwork was so beautiful and unique. Finally she's back on a major book and she's writing and drawing the new IDW Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles book. I shouldn't say new because it's already at #101 but it is a reboot of the famous Kevin Eastman/Peter Laird book from the 80's and 90's. I think most people don't really even think TMNT started as a comic book, they probably just remember the cartoon, movies, and toys from when they were kids. But the original comic book was darker, grittier, weirder, and a classic for a reason. This reboot actually was pretty popular and selling out and talked about a lot online around the time #25 to #50 came out. Then interested seemed to wane and I hadn't heard much about it until I found out Sophie Campbell was working on it. I'm definitely glad I picked this issue up, as it's probably the best comic I've read in this "30 Reviews in 30 Days" piece (and we're on the 25th day). First off, Campbell's art is fantastic. It definitely looks like a comic book (Ronda Pattison did the colors), if that makes sense. It's organic looking and fluid while also being obviously fantastical and cartoon-esque. The story is great, too, although Campbell is mostly just picking up the pieces of the "City at War" story line that ended with the death of Splinter in #100. A bomb was set off in NYC that turned a section of the city's inhabitants into mutants. The rest of the city walled off that section and it's become a wild west Mutant Town. Raphael has gone rogue and become the Batman of Mutant Town. The others are still struggling with Splinter's death. There's a new mutant ninja turtle, Jennika, that was caught in the bomb blast and transformed. She heads to Mutant Town and ends up fighting some of the animal/mutant goons that control the streets. This book is one wild ride, and pretty to look at, and compelling enough that I'm eager to read the next issue and find out what happens. Definitely a win-win. ***1/2